


Understand me

by AmbecaWatson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cowboy & Western, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel, Community: deancasbigbang, Dean-Centric, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2015, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Castiel, Gay Dean, M/M, Rimming, Romance, Supernatural Elements, farming, organic farming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/AmbecaWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester's life was good. He worked on his father's cattle ranch, hunted some supernatural baddies with his mother now and again and was about to fulfill his dream to build up a stud for working horses.<br/>But when his brother had enough of their father's constant attempts to play the brothers against each other about who would inherit the farm, he finds himself between the chairs.<br/>He chooses to go with his brother, which puts him onto a run down farm that Sam bought for a bargain prize and in the line of organic farming.<br/>On the night that they want to celebrate Dean's moving in, he runs into a city farmer in the local bar. The man, Castiel Novak, immediately catches Dean's attention, but they hit a rough start even though the other man might need Dean's help in more respects than just farming advice.<br/>There is tension between the both of them, even when they act on their mutual attraction. Will Dean get over his anxiety to lose Castiel and will Castiel start feeling at home in Dean's world of farming and horses? They have to learn to understand and to lead a different kind of life than the one they knew before.</p><p>~ A DeanCasBigBang story ~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It has gotten almost customary to put up a thank you note to these kinds of challenge fics so here comes mine.
> 
> Thank you so much to my betas, Desirae and Livi, for reading and commenting on the story and also for our discussions about pretty much everything, including Smallville (this show will never be forgotten, mark my words.)
> 
> A big shout out to the wonderful Susanna for the art pieces she drew for this fic, thank you for picking my story to illustrate. Check out her tumblr: [here](http://vieroksuja.tumblr.com) The art masterpost is [here](http://vieroksuja.tumblr.com/post/130748838185/my-distribution-to-the-dcbb-you-can-read-the)
> 
> And last but not least, a thank you to the Lilith to my Abaddon, the bestest soulmate friend a gal could hope for, being there for me whenever I need her, for having a brilliant answer to all my horsie questions and for reading this when it was still inside it's baby shoes. You rock, sister.
> 
> And now, without further ado:
> 
>  

Dean Winchester stood on his first very own front porch and felt like he overlooked the five thousand acres of his very own land. Well, to be completely honest, it wasn’t entirely his. Or anything of it, really. He had only come here because he wanted to support his younger brother Sam, who had bought this place when their father had once again played them against each other about who was gonna be more qualified to take over the family business on their home farm, Winchester’s Grange.

Things had gone haywire between John and his younger son for a while, Dean thought, while he continued to overlook the run down farm he lived on now. He had always thought that he was connected to the land and that’s why he immediately felt so at home here as if it were his very own. He had never left their home farm for a longer periods of time and he felt like he would be unhappy anywhere else. It was different for his brother though, Sam had studied agricultural economics and sciences and their father John hadn‘t liked that he went away for so long, leaving them to do whatever they liked with their home farm. Sam wasn’t overly attached to the place even though technically he’d be the better one equipped to take charge of the ranch, but he had his own ideas about how to run it, which his father didn’t much care for and didn’t want to realize on his property. 

Winchester’s Grange had always been one of the biggest cattle farms in the whole district and Dean knew the business from his earliest childhood on. He’d had worked their farm forever, even when he should have better focused on school. While Sam buried his nose in his books and studied which crops were best for the Texan soil, or which techniques were the best when breaking in colts, Dean had been out there, doing the practical approach and soon working better than his father’s leading farm hand. He had barely finished school because of it, but in the end, he managed because his mom and their leading hand, Bobby Singer, would have whacked his ass if he hadn’t. But he had always preferred to work as soon as school was over and most of the time he was getting up earlier than he had to, to pull his weight around the place.

He had learned more from Bobby more than his father had taught him; About how to fix and maintain fences, that the troughs had to be cleaned regularly, how to fix windmills and pipes, how to drench and shear, and last but not least how to train horses. 

John had thought that Bobby’s way of starting a horse instead of scaring it into obedience was horse whispering mumbo jumbo, but Dean and the eldest neighbor child, Jessica Devereaux, hadn’t thought so. They had never again broken in a horse after Bobby showed them his different approach. 

He would climb into the paddock and let the horse come to him, walking away and leaving the animal space until it showed curiosity and let itself be petted. Afterwards, he would start to lead it around on a bridle, making the animal run rounds and stop on command until he finally put a saddle on it. Then he waited until the horse was calm enough to mount and when it was, he took his time to teach it the signals for the different paces.

It took a few days longer to get the horse ready for work as compared to break them conventionally, but the ones he had started this way had not just been working animals, but grew very attached and friendly to their handler. Dean and Jess had adopted Bobby’s approach immediately, breaking out in a friendly rivalry about who would one day be the best horse trainer in the country while their younger siblings, Charlie and Sam, just stood by and shook their heads about the older ones, secretly wishing to be old enough to train horses themselves.

The Winchesters had always been good friends with the Devereaux girls and they had been over there countless times, or purposely riding the boundary fence to meet up and play. 

These days, old Frank with his two daughters, Jessica and Charlie lived on Devereaux farm, alongside his housekeeper Ellen with her daughter Jo and additionally a couple of farmhands. Back when they were children, Charlie’s mom had lived with them as well, but she and Frank had divorced shortly after her 8th birthday.

Despite from what his friendly rivalry with Jessica would suggest, he really liked Charlie better; she had been his best friend ever since she could walk. When her mother took Charlie with her and moved away to the nearest city, not only the girl was devastated but Dean as well. She had begged her mother to be able to stay on the farm, but for a long while, there had only been weekend visits. After about a year, her mother had seen reason, seeing how unhappy Charlie was to be separated from her sister and her best friend and had let the child stay here for good. 

Later they found out why she gave in so relatively easy, namely because Charlie’s mother had had cancer and didn’t want her little daughter to see her suffer, but instead enjoy her time with her father and sister. She had died shortly after Dean’s 14th birthday, when he and Jess had decided that their plans to someday run a stud were what they wanted to do with their life.

They had just had Sam and Charlie oversee their highly official secret handshake about their business plans (both teenagers had spit in their palms and shook on it) when Frank had come over with the bad news.

Charlie completely fell apart then, not wanting to say or do anything for nearly a month because she now knew that her mother had sent her away to enjoy her time here when she would have needed her the most. She was only 12 but she felt strangely responsible for what had happened and now she decided to leave the farm again. She begged her father to send her off to boarding school, so that she might do something good with her life and make her mother proud. 

Jess didn’t want her sister to go alone and decided to go with her little sister wherever she went. Dean had been downcast that Charlie would leave again, but things got worse when they got back home and he heard Sam talk to his father about going to boarding school too. 

His father thought it was a great idea and soon all four of them were enrolled in a fancy school. Dean hadn’t even been asked if he wanted to go and when he finally went, grouching and unwilling, he hated every second of it. He missed home so much that he felt like he’d carry a constant ache around with him. On the first parents‘ weekend, his father told him to suck it up and be a man, but his mom had seen that Dean was truly unhappy and single-handedly pulled him out of that school again. 

Afterwards, he was enrolled at the nearest high school and more than happy to be back home, even though he was gonna be very lonely for a time. Sam, Jess and Charlie stayed at boarding school the entire rest of the year before each of them decided that they wanted to come back home as well; it didn‘t feel right to any of them to completely break with home and particularly Charlie feared she‘d lose herself if she couldn‘t think of the farm as her home anymore. She said that she’d find other ways to make her mother proud and studied like mad, even at her new/old school. Sam, who was the only one who’d rather continue boarding school, now started a friendly rivalry between him and Charlie. Because if the elder siblings rivaled themselves with horse training, the younger ones weren’t any better for their thirst for education. 

 

Frank Devereaux and John Winchester already planned their family union whenever they saw Dean and Jess work with the horses while Sam and Charlie studied under the nearest tree. However, they decided the younger sibling should be paired with the older one so that they didn’t need to fight themselves over who would inherit which property. 

It looked as if they were gonna succeed with Sam and Jessica, because goofy, lanky Sam always turned even more so when Jess was present and he always blushed fiercely when he did something embarrassing around her. Dean thought that his brother had an almost pathetic crush on the older girl and often teased him for it. But obviously not in front of Jess herself, he was too good a brother for that.

When it came to a match between Dean and Charlie though, they soon figured out that there were objectives in the way. They both found out that they weren’t interested in the opposite gender when they had kissed once and it hadn’t done anything for either of them. 

Nobody really knew about it at first, neither Dean nor Charlie had made a big deal of their homosexuality, they thought, if they should ever find the right person, it was still soon enough to tell. 

Charlie had told her father after she had developed her first crush, and the only thing he had answered: “As you please, my doll. As long as you’re not a Republican.”

Dean had almost envied Charlie because he feared that his father would react a lot differently when he told him the news and he should be right in the end. First of all, John didn’t think Dean was serious when he came out to him and his mother. He laughed at him, then when Dean didn’t give up his resolve, he told him that he couldn’t even know that after trying just once and it was just a phase.

He had stood by this opinion for a while, and Dean had felt misunderstood and rightfully angry at his father as he worked with even more élan on his new project that didn’t involve anything on the farm for once. 

 

After Charlie had left the neighbor‘s farm for a while, Mary had revealed something very shocking to him. She told him that she came from a long line of hunters of the supernatural and she needed Dean’s help for a haunted house a couple of towns over.

Hunters of the supernatural were tolerated in society at best. They were necessary, because despite what most people thought, monsters, ghosts and the odd demon still roamed the earth. Most people knew that there were hunters around, but they thought they were whack jobs, and only the people who had needed hunters once, spoke more highly of them.

When Dean was really young he had been at a local rodeo show and a psychic who worked out of a tent had told him all about hunters. But until almost a year ago, he had never known that his own mother was one of them. 

It didn’t matter much to him when she took him out to an abandoned house a few hundred miles south of their neck of the woods.

Mary told him on the way over there that it was a family business into which you were born and which you could never leave behind you. 

“It runs in your blood, son. And I think with all the others gone now, you could use something to clear your head. I know it clears mine to hunt, even though I hated it growing up.”

Dean only shrugged and figured if his mom thought he should give this a shot, he would.

 

The house was old and damp. The wallpaper peeled itself off the walls and there were last years leaves strewn all over the floor, which must have gotten in during fall due to all the windows of the house being broken.

Dean and his mom searched the house while Mary kept a look out for attacking spirits and for her son as well. She had read in the papers that the last owner who wanted to fix the house and property back up died a violent death here. Then she had done research into the historical background of the property for which she had spent hours at the local library, pouring over old microfiche to check the obituaries while her husband thought she was baking with the wives of the farmers association.

On the property, they looked for unmarked graves because Mary didn’t have a record of the spirit candidates’ burial. When she shook her head about graves in the immediate priority, they searched the attic and basement where finally they found what they were looking for.

Dean shoveled up the dirt, trusting his mother that they were gonna find a grave there while she kept watch for angry ghosts with a shotgun in her hand. She had shown him that the shells didn’t contain buckshot grain, but were full of salt. 

“Salt repels spirits. So does iron,” she had told him on the way here and then had laughed about his first time shooting rabbits, when he hadn’t noticed that she had given him her salt gun to practice by accident.

Dean wondered very much about his life as he dug up the grave, his gentle mother who had pretended to be completely normal for the longest time by his side, ready to repel ghosts with a rifle.

He stopped wondering what he was doing when he caught sight of his first spirit and his mom firing at it while Dean lit up a matchbook and set the bones he had just dug up on fire. In his excitement, and if he was being honest, quite a bit of fear, he barely remembered to pour more salt over them like Mary had told him.

“Wow… that was…” he beamed at his mom when the fire was crackling nicely and nothing of the spirit remained.

“I know,” she smiled back, a little ruefully for some reason but still feeling the adrenaline and satisfaction of the hunt.

“This is awesome,” Dean remarked while he watched the flames and his mom came closer.

“It isn’t always that easy though,” Mary lectured him, hugging him close. “Sometimes these things get messy and you are in great danger. But this job was simple.”

“Why did you never tell me about this, mom?”

“Because I want you safe. I don’t go on big hunts myself anymore. But sometimes, I just have this itching under my skin. And it feels good to help people like this now and again.”

“Does anyone know? Someone on the farmer’s association? Sammy? Dad?”

“Nobody knows, and it should stay that way. You know how hunters are treated, don’t you? I think your dad would freak out, more so because I took you with me.”

“Mom, I wanna keep doing this,” Dean announced as he watched the flames. “What you said about that itch… You were right. I feel it too.”

“It’s a bloodline, baby. You may be the finest horse trailer this side of Dallas, but you’re also a hunter. You were born into this, just like I was.”

“What about Sammy?”

“He would be too, if he’d once get a taste of it. Listen, baby: The only reason I showed you this is because I think it would do you good. You looked so sad ever since you were at boarding school and now that they‘re all still there and you‘re not. But I need you to understand something. We‘re doing this by my rules. I hated this life for the longest time because my father forced me into it. I am not going to do that to you. But you see, if you‘re in there is no getting out. No one ever really stops being a hunter. That a thing I needed years to learn.”

“I understand,” Dean had said with all the wisdom of his 14 years as he and his mother left the run down house and packed the shovel and the shotgun into the back of the truck.

“Let’s get home,” Mary nodded as she got into the shotgun seat. Technically, Dean was still too young to drive a car outside of their own property, but police controls were very rare around here. 

He got behind the wheel and his mom smiled at him fondly.

“We got some work to do.”


	2. Chapter 2

He and Sammy both worked on their father’s property for years, Dean going over to full work hours once he finished high school, Sammy going off to study but returning when he finished. 

Now though, things had changed. Their father had played them against each other one time too often and both boys had had enough of it. He had set each of them a competition to work better than their brother to prove how badly they wanted to take over. Sam and Dean had worked feverously against each other, both checking out what the other was doing and nearly breaking their backs from all the work they did. Dean desperately wanted to impress their father, but Sam had gone behind everyone’s back and bought himself his own farm in an act of defiance, just to get away from John and his little contest.

He had told Dean after a long, hard day where they had cleaned out an entire silo and filled sacks of corn, armed with nothing but two shovels.

“Dean, I think this is stupid,” Sam had said when they were both completely exhausted and nursing a beer at the end of the day. “And I refuse to fight you on this. And soon, I won’t have to anymore.”

“What do you mean, Sammy?”

“I mean, I got my own place.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, I bought Cedar Ridge. At a real bargain price too.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Dean nodded. Cedar Ridge shared a boundary with Winchester’s, but it had been disused for very long. The previous owner had been a hopeless drunk who hadn’t maintained the land in longer than Dean was alive and had recently finally kicked the bucket. Obviously the farm was now up for grabs because the old drunk would be the last person on earth to have any relatives popping up to lay claim on the property.

Dean thought about this for a while as the brothers watched the sun go down with the cows in the yard mooing sadly. Bobby and the other hands had separated the grown calves from their mothers, while they had been busy with the silo. Weaning time was always difficult because the animals had to be kept close to the homestead, even when they loudly longed for their young.

Dean didn’t feel much different from the cows, but he had to admit that Sam would have more peace to do his thing away from their father. 

“Well, I wish you luck with it, Sammy. But you know, don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t, Dean. But I am gonna move at the end of the week.”

“Do you need help to pack your stuff?”

“That’d be great.”

Dean felt like a really great brother because he let Sammy go like this but promised to be there for him no matter what. Everyone, except for their father, wished Sammy all the best with his new property. John though was far from pleased that Sam was going. At first, he tried to strike a bargain with Sam and add Cedar Ridge to his empire, promising to help the place get back up on it’s feet. When it turned out that that was the very last thing that Sam wanted, John started to ridicule him for buying a run down place with little to no reserve funds and predicted an early ruin for Sam’s endeavor. He said that he wasn’t sure he’d take Sam back in when he crawled back in defeat. When Sam only laughed about that, John started to threaten that he would never make the grade if he still had something to say about it and that he’d discourage his contacts from working with Sam. 

For a while, Dean had tried to keep the peace between his father and brother, even when Sam was already gone; trying as he might to get the two who were at odds with each other to see eye to eye again. 

Sam had decided that he wanted to get into organic farming with the new place. The soil had been left untreated by chemicals for so long that he could start sowing his first load of organic corn almost immediately. 

Dean had laughed about Sam when they met for a beer in the local pub.

“My brother, a cropper. I can’t believe it.”

“If you know a better way to bring money to the place, you let me know, ok? Before I can even think of going back into cattle, that is. If you do, then raise your hand,” Sam gave him a bitch face as he lifted his beer up.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Dean admitted, not wanting to provoke Sam, whose nerves had to be strained by the constant feud with their father already. “But what about adjusting businesses for other farmers? That might get you on your feet sooner.”

“Can’t do that. If the cattle leave their un-organic crap all over Cedar, I can kiss that first level license I applied to goodbye before I even get it.”

“You’re going full state organic? Not just a few harvests?” Dean spluttered into his beer.

“Yeah, I am,” Sammy said assertive. “It’s better for the land, better for the products and human health. Not to mention, organic products sell for more.”

“But the workload is much higher,” Dean rebutted. He may have done mostly farmhand jobs in his time, but it wasn’t as if he was stupid. He knew that organic farming meant a lot of more stress on the farmer, rigid quality controls of products and the whole property. Despite the things Dean sometimes said about all organic farmers being laid back hippies, he secretly admired their perseverance and passion to go a different route.

Sam would need new organic gear, couldn’t use trucks which could be sullied by inorganic cattle or sheep and Dean didn’t want to even start to think about the things that vets had to do if they couldn’t just give animals antibiotics.

“Well, if you’re sure about this, Sammy,” he sighed, as he once again conceded to his brother’s plans. “I’ll back your play.”

“Thanks, Dean. I know we didn’t part on the best of terms but-”

“I know. You’re still my brother,” he clapped Sam’s shoulder and they left all rivalry behind them now. “Are you able to afford any hands?”

“No.”

“Then don’t hesitate to drop a call when you need me. I want you to succeed, even as an organic cropper douchenozzle.”

They had drained their beers in silence then and Dean had gone back home to mother and father afterwards.

 

Things had been good, even though Dean had to work overtime now. He had his work on his home farm and he helped out Sammy whenever he called, which wasn’t nearly as often as Dean knew he needed him. Additionally, Dean had a quarter horse to train. His father had finally conceded to let him start his horse training business in order not to lose another son who couldn’t fulfill his dreams under his roof.

John had only agreed to Dean taking on one horse at a time, because there was now an empty box where Sam’s horse had always stood and he had no other use for it.

Dean knew that with one horse box, he could hardly start a business of his own and had asked Jess for help. He had felt that it was very manly of him to swallow his pride and get over their little rivalry when he went over to Devereaux’s and asked if she wanted to be partners on this. Frank had come in from his early morning trough run while Dean and Jess hashed out their deal and had immediately said he would fund their business without them asking him to. Dean felt a huge lump in his throat at seeing the differences between Frank and John once more like this.

 

Now though, Dean had to work three hard jobs, training the first horse whenever he could, Jess agreeing that he should finish it so it got used to one trainer and not be confused by two. Additionally, he had his usual farm work to do and whenever he could, or rather couldn’t, he drove over to help Sam with whatever he needed.

He fell into his bed completely exhausted every night and snapped out of sleep after only four hours every morning when the sun wasn't even up yet, beginning his exhausting routine all over. Cleaning the troughs, checking the boundary fences for any damage. Then it was yard-work and horse-training unless something else came up. 

One day started just like any other with the slight difference that After lunch, he’d have to move cattle, and during it, he needed book shearers because the big sheering of the year needed organizing as well.

He cobbled down a sandwich all the while calling up sheering teams if they’d be free then and then. 

While he still called and took down the different work rates, his father came in, nodding at him curtly and grabbing a sandwich of his own.

“Hey, dad.” Dean greeted once he had hung up the phone. “How’s your day going so far?”

“Good,” John swallowed. “All about finished spraying the boundary paddocks.”

“I didn’t know you would bring insecticide over it today. I would have helped otherwise.”

“I doubt you would‘ve, unless you learned how to fly a chopper and got over that damn phobia of yours.”

“Wait? You’re letting the boundary be sprayed over the air?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Which boundary?”

“The one we share with your brother,” John confirmed Dean’s dread.

“You do know how the wind stands, right? The pesticide will be drawn over onto Cedar Ridge like this!”

John only nodded, fully aware of what he was doing and Dean thought the earth would open underneath him and swallow him up.

“You’re purposefully sabotaging Sam’s organic status? Your son‘s?”

“It’s not my problem if he wants to go all 'organic garbage' with the place.”

“You’re being a very inconsiderate neighbor, dad. Would you do that to anyone else too, or is it just because it’s Sam?”

John frowned at him, obviously not having counted on a reaction like this. “What’s the issue, son? You seem whacked out today.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Dean said and got up. He grabbed the notepad with the shearer‘s rates per sheep on it. “Here is the info I collected for the shear. If anything’s changing until then, that’s where you can call.”

“No,” John shook his head and slurped a sip of coffee to wash his sandwich down. “That’s your job.”

“No, it’s not,” Dean said firmly, already on the way to get his own horse and the quarter horse he was training on a trailer and hook it to his truck. “I won’t be here next week.” 

His thoughts were with his clothes and other familiar stuff, but he decided he had the couple of dollars to go into the nearest shop and buy himself new three dollar shirts. 

“Why won’t you be? Where are you going?”

Dean couldn’t answer for a second, thinking about his most priced possession, and how he would most likely have to leave his car, a ‘67 Chevy Impala in the garage for a long while.

He focused back on his father. “I’m going to Sammy. And unless you come up with a very good reason why I should get back, I won’t. Bye, dad.”

 

He had driven himself to Sammy then, even though midday as the best change to find someone home, was long over and he was pretty sure Sam was already out on the property again. He sat with the horses a while, calming them in the unfamiliar surrounding and thinking about how he had just brought himself right out of the home he had fought and worked so hard for. 

He looked around, seeing nothing of the grandeur that was the 200 year old farm house of Winchester’s Grange. All he saw were some old barracks that were Cedar Ridge’s excuse for stables, a carport and shearer’s quarters. There was also a cottage, which already looked decrepit from here and the main house, which was nothing more than a shabby bungalow. 

Sooner than he expected, he heard the sound of hooves coming up the driveway to the homestead. His brother was thoroughly confused as to why Dean was here, relaxing in the back of his truck, his hat drawn low and waiting with his feet crossed in his usual work boots.

“Hiya, Sammy. Fancy a leading farm hand in exchange for bed and board? And maybe a place where I can put my horses?”

“Sure Dean,” his brother answered, thoroughly surprised and his brow creased in a questioning manner, but they untied the horses and let them over to the horse yard behind the house in companionable silence before he spoke again.

“They can stay here so we can keep an eye on them. So, what brings you?” Sam asked, kicking the dirt awkwardly as he led Dean’s horse. He wouldn’t let his brother handle the only half-trained quarter horse, but lead it himself.

“You know that Dad’s had the boundary paddocks flown over with pesticides today?” Dean asked as means of an answer.

“What? Really?” Sam was completely stunned. “Shit, Dean. I gotta go back out there, I gotta test the soil.”

“With the old chemistry set?” Dean asked, without the bantering sting his words usually had.

“Yeah sorta,” Sam said absentmindedly, his mind already the over one thousand acres away to where his father had probably just ruined one or more paddocks for his organic plans.

 

“So that’s what I’m getting for wanting to stay close and buying a neighboring farm?”

“Yeah, it seems so,” Dean quipped as Sam drove them to the paddock in question in his own truck. 

“He did it on purpose, did he?”

Dean said nothing but Sam took it the right way.

“Terrific,” he slammed his fist on the wheel.

“Why don’t you chill there, bro? We don’t know anything yet.”

“When was I ever lucky when I was up against him, Dean? I left for college and we still butted heads. I left for my own property and he’s ruining it for me.”

Dean had nothing to say again, but quietly, he agreed with his brother.

 

“So, it looks as if there’s not too much damage done,” Sam said, a strip of paper in a solution of soil and water, turning green.

“Green’s good?” Dean asked.

“Not as good as if nothing had happened, but better than blue or red. If I had already had an organic license beyond level 1, I would be demoted to that, but since I don’t have one yet, it’s still within limits.”

“That’s good, Sammy.”

“But if this happens again, I can write the entire area off.”

“Maybe we should go over there and negotiate with him. It’s not ok what he does.”

Sam sighed heavily, already foreseeing an argument breaking out. “Yeah, we’ll have to.” He looked at his brother again. 

“So you’re staying for a bit then?”

“Yeah, for a while. Can’t have my kid brother starving here all alone.”

“Not a kid anymore, Dean.”

“I know that, Sammy.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning, Sam and Dean rode the fences, even though there was hardly a point to it. Sam’s property was completely empty except for a silo filled with organic corn close to the homestead.

“Better maintain them though, wouldn’t want our neighbors to complain,” Sam said as they rode on, sometimes kicking against the poles and checking if the wire was still tight enough.

“Hey, I was thinking. Why don’t you and I celebrate that I moved in, huh? Go down to the bar in the evening, have a few cold ones and play a bit of pool. I bet I could still whip your ass at it.”

“Haven’t done anything like that for a while. Sounds good,” Sam agreed and Dean knew if his workaholic brother actually wanted the night off from worrying and harvest expectancy calculations, he was really in dire need of some fun.

 

The bar in the nearest town was loud and full and Bela the waitress kept the beers coming. The pool tournament between the brothers was pretty leveled; when one won a frame, the other caught up even when they both felt the alcohol affect their aim.

“Shall we call it a draw, Sammy?”

“Yeah, might as well,” Sam clapped Dean’s shoulder. “Because you’re my brother and I want both us to win.”

“I actually forgot how happy you are when you’re drunk,” Dean laughed and caught sight of two familiar faces sitting at a table in the taproom. “Hey look who it is. I’ll give you a clue: It’s Charlie and Jess.”

Sam actually blushed and grinned like an overgrown puppy as Dean brought him over to the girl’s table.

“Ladies,” he greeted and laid his hat onto the table.

“Dean!” Charlie jumped up to hug him immediately.

“Can I get you some refills?” he asked as Sammy folded himself together in the chair next to Jess and looked at her as if she was the sun.

“You two look like you had plenty already,” Jess laughed.

“Another one can’t hurt. I bet you’re gonna sneak Sammy’s car keys when he’s not looking anyway.”

“Yeah, probably,” Jess laughed as Charlie dragged Dean off to the bar.

“So, how’s life treating you?” Charlie asked.

“Not bad,” Dean glossed over the truth as he told her all about their new living situation.

“That’s rough,” she said sympathetically, but couldn’t help throw a flirty smile at Bela behind the bar.

“So, you’re gonna come by visit soon, right?” Dean tried to draw her attention again. “We share a different boundary now, but it’s all the same, right?”

“Hell, yeah. Can’t have your lame ass all by yourself out here,” Charlie tugged Dean close and laid her head on his shoulder as they ordered four more beers from Bela.

“I’m not by myself. I’m living at Sammy’s now. For good probably.”

“Oh, heck. What’s he done now?” Charlie asked clairvoyantly, obviously meaning his father and she kicked the heels of her boots on the bar stool in annoyance as they continued their talk.

“He’s sprayed the boundary paddock when the wind was sure to blow the chemicals onto Sam’s property.”

Charlie looked at him without understanding.

“Cedar Ridge is gonna be organic.”

“Well shit,” Charlie said, still managing to giving a bright smile to Bela when she slid the first two glasses over the counter of the bar.

“Thanks princess,” she grinned wider, and Bela smiled back for a second before she was called into the kitchen.

“Hey, tone it down, will ya? Bela’s not playing for your team.”

“How would you know, Dean?”

“Everyone knows,” Dean shrugged. “She’s not particularly discreet when she‘s with someone and she goes with _anyone_.”

“Then she’s also playing for _my_ team,” Charlie gave him a smirk, already going back to the table with the first beers.

Dean only shook his head, waiting for Bela to pour the rest and nearly getting caught in the face by the hat of someone next to him.

“Hey, dude? Take your hat of, man. It’s common decency.”

“Excuse me?”

The man turned around to Dean, and he was immediately overwhelmed and drawn in by the man’s expressive blue eyes, but still a bit grouchy.

“I said, you don’t wear your hat when you’re inside,” he tapped at the brim of the hat until the guy took it off.

Dean saw unruly dark brown hair, which the man made when wilder now as he carded through it and Dean felt clear signs of heat pooling in his belly as he saw the man’s tongue dab out over his chapped lips.

“Sorry, I don’t know the code yet,” his opponent replied.

That much was evident from the stranger’s whole outfit. Clean shirt with freaking tassels no less, jeans without a single tear, no dirt on the face or hands. Even his fingernails were clean, for Christ’s sake!

While he finished his examination of the stranger, his first impression of the guy was confirmed to be true. Definitely heartthrob, ‘better watch yourself ,Winchester‘ material. He was less broad around the shoulders than he or his brother, but definitely toned. Not to mention his eyes… or his hair… or his mouth.

Add his fingers to the list, Dean thought as the stranger lifted his drink. Long and tanned, as was his face. Dean found himself wondering if the tan was seamless and if he would be so lucky as to find out about it.

But then he registered what the guy was drinking and his mind practically made a backflip.

“Dude, a cocktail?”

“Yes. Is that another code violation?”

“Yeah,” Dean said with force in his voice, a bitter feeling rising in him. “But I guess it’s kinda to be expected from a city boy.”

“What makes you think I come from the city?”

“Your boots aren’t dirty,” Dean said as if it was a statement and a conviction at once.

“We can’t all be running around covered in mud and sweat,” the person opposite quipped back at Dean now, just when Bela came back and drew the next two beers and gave Dean a smile.

Their usual flirty conversation ensued, as it was custom here in the country. They didn’t really say much of substance, but that’s just how it worked in these parts as well.

“Hello there, cowboy.”

“Hey, gorgeous. How’s it going?”

“So and so,” she nodded. “You?”

“Same,” Dean flashed her another smile as she slid the beers over again.

Dean gave her the right amount of money without her even having to announce the price.

“Don’t be driving tonight, sunshine,” she smiled again.

“Not if I get a better offer,” he winked and Bela swatted at his arm, knowing that Dean was a natural flirt and would never lay some moves on her. Bela had been his only try to ever engage with someone of the opposite sex after Charlie, but it had never gone past a kiss.

“I get off at two,” she still replied conspiratorially and Dean laughed heartily, laying two fingers against his forehead in lieu of the brim of a hat there.

He still smiled, happy at the interaction, when Bela walked down the bar to take some more orders. But then he caught the gaze of the man next to him again, who looked at him almost as disdainfully as Dean knew he must have looked when he had called the other a city boy.

“So, that’s what a farmer does? Keeping a little harem? If that makes me a real farmer, I‘ll pass.”

“What?” Dean was confused, even if the other had seen him flirt with Bela now and misunderstood it, why did he say that?

“The red headed girl, the bartender? I’m guessing even more than that?” Obviously there was another country custom that the other didn’t understand or didn’t know about.

“Dude, you’re way off. First of all, I’m ga-”

The rest of Dean’s last word was overtoned by the sound of shattering glass behind him and two familiar voices shouting over each other.

“Excuse me,” he mumbled and rushed off to find his brother and his father shouting loudly at each other. “Hey, fellas. What’s all this noise? Let’s take this outside, shall we?”

He ushered his brother and father out, not even having caught on to what had happened, but he figured he had a pretty good guess.

“There’s no need,” his father heaved, so aggravated that Dean was worried about the older man’s heart. “I’m finished here anyway.”

“What’s going on?”

“He wants to open the old cattle route back up,” Sam fumed and Dean knew what he was talking about immediately.

The old route had been disused for a long while and probably needed a lot of work to get back in shape, not too mention time and heavy machinery which Sam wouldn’t be able to afford.

“All I did was inform your brother that I’m getting all the neighbors who would be affected together and we’ll see if they’ll vote yes on this thing. It would get us all a more direct route to the auctions and cattle markets.”

“Yeah, and a bunch on inorganic trunks driving over my land and screwing it all up even more.”

“Yeah, maybe if you would go over to conventional farming, you wouldn’t have any problems, Sammy.”

“Don’t call me Sammy!” His brother yelled and Dean shoved him away from his father now, back towards the bar as John stepped back too.

“Alright, cool it off you two. Nothing’s decided yet, is it?”

His father shook his head and Dean nodded, finished with the conversation for now as he escorted Sam back in.

“Which means we still got time to get people onto the ‘no’ side,” Dean said as he sat back down at Charlie and Jess’ table.

“What was that about? A stock route through our properties? I don’t think we can afford to do that,” Jess asked.

“Neither can we. And it would waste Sam’s land.”

“Through what properties does it go again?” Charlie asked, not remembering the particulars anymore.

“Well yours, Sammy’s, Dad’s, Old Man Turner’s and the disused Porter’s.”

“That place has been abandoned for years, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“No,” Sam said, slowly calming down again. “It’s been sold as well. It was sold the same day I bought my place. I saw the new owner in here a while ago. You talked to him, Dean.”

“That city douche?” Dean actually rolled his eyes at being reminded of the good looking, snobby stranger.

“Yeah, guess we’ll have to woo him especially. Old Rufus will side with Dad no doubt. We’ll just need to convince the city farmer that his stock route is a damn bad idea,” Charlie cursed, but then batted her eyes at Dean. “That’s a job for you, Dean.”

“Yeah, no. The guy and I kinda butted heads and you know I’m no good at buttering people.”

“I don’t know, he looked at you pretty buttered when you weren’t looking back,” she smirked.

“He thought I was double-teaming with you and Bela,” Dean said with an incredulous smile on his face as he shook his head.

“Well, anyway,” Sam got back into the conversation again. “He already knows you and you should go over there as soon as you can. Perhaps with a peace offering. We need his vote on this. Please, Dean.”

Dean felt his unwillingness waver at Sam asking him for help.

“Ok,” he said and slapped his brother’s back while Charlie and Jess looked at them with smiles on their faces.

“We’ll not let him get his way on this.”

All of them nodded with conviction.

Later on in the night, Charlie who had only the beer that Dean had bought for her, drove them all home and Dean fell asleep, buzzed and with blue eyes and tanned skin floating through his brain in very prominent roles.

 

In the morning, she came round again to bring Sam back to town to get the truck and Dean to the homestead of Porter’s farm. When he had clapped the side of the truck twice in goodbye, he felt less and less conviction about his agenda here. He tried not to think about what he had been doing with the good-looking stranger, named Castiel Novak as Sammy had informed him, in last night’s dreams.

He knocked at the front door, because obviously a city farmer wouldn’t want for Dean to go round to the kitchen entrance like it was custom in the country. Someone was always in the kitchen, whereas the front door was mostly cranked or entirely closed off in these parts.

It creaked even now as the door opened, but it was evident that it had been oiled lately, so the face of the man he had seen back at the bar yesterday came into view without many problems.

“Hey,” Dean greeted, but he didn’t know how to go on, particularly when he saw that the guy was still wearing a bathrobe and his boxers flashed through where he hadn’t closed it. Reality was so much better than Dean’s buzzed dream last night and he felt his mouth water as he took in the rest of the new arrival’s appearance. The bedhead the guy sported was even more spectacular than his hat hair yesterday, and his already plush lips were swollen a little, just like his eyes. Perhaps he hadn’t slept well.

“Hello,” the man yawned. “Can I do anything for you this early in the morning?”

“Dude, it’s like uh… 9:30,” Dean looked at his watch, trying hard not to drool about the toned runner’s legs that flashed through the opening of the bathrobe.

The other squinted his eyes at Dean who could only just hold back on rolling his eyes, yesterday‘s annoyance back when he wasn‘t too busy staring for a second.

“Right, um… I kinda have a matter to discuss with you. It concerns all the properties in the surrounding area.”

“Alright,” the other smiled shortly and motioned Dean in, who immediately took his hat off once he was inside.

“Uh…” Dean said again and thought he really should stop uttering vocals like that as he was brought into the study and the meeting suddenly had a touch of formality as the other guy took a seat behind his desk, muttering: “I thought you’d sleep in tonight after being in a bar yesterday.”

“I did,” Dean said, happy that he hadn’t uh’ed again. “I only got up at 5:30 today.”

“That’s sleeping in for you? I must appear incredibly lazy then.”

“Yeah kinda,” Dean said before he could help it. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“What’s the matter? You weren’t so courteous yesterday.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda because there’s a thing I want to convince you about,” Dean said, a bit distracted again at the other guy shifting in his chair and revealing more tanned skin. Yeah, seamless tan so far. Of course his butt could still be lily white, and Dean would only have to see him stretch a little to see for himself. Not even thinking about pulling those briefs down and letting his fingers find the evidence of the seamless tan everywhere.

“You were saying something?” the other man said, startling Dean out of his lusting gaze and gently but firmly closing his bathrobe and pulling it closed now.

Shit, the guy knew that Dean thought he was hot. Shit, shit, shit.

“Uh…,” he said again, cursing himself for different reasons. “Yes, my father wants to put an old stock route back to use, which would kinda be a kick in the groin for the farm I work on. Sammy’s gone organic and it would really be a blow for us if we’d have all that traffic going through one of the back paddocks. A-and I’m guessing since you’re closest to the auction place, the cost effectiveness wouldn’t be profitable for you.”

The other’s eyebrows raised as Dean brought an economic argument like that. Doubtless he thought that Dean was a dumb farm hand with not much but an imprinted southern moral code imprinted into his being.

“So, what do you say about that? I bet Sammy could do you a nice chart with the figures if you wanted it.”

“Yes, that would be good for me to get a better picture of things.”

“Good, I’ll bring one over tomorrow then?”

“Yes. Sounds good,” the other nodded at Dean, not unfriendly but still a bit reserved.

“And listen, about yesterday-”

“There is no need to talk about yesterday.”

“I think there is, because you probably have the wrong impression of me.”

“I think you’re a well trained farm hand with some management experience who likes too many women and too much drink until he passes out or get involved in any public brawls that he can find. I‘m guessing this Sammy you spoke of is the third one in your harem? Perhaps your wife?”

Dean stared at the other man and could only huff with a sassy and fuming expression.

“Think whatever you like of me. I’ll bring the figures over tomorrow morning…” he stood there brooding sourly for a second before he went on without being able to help it: “Which starts at 4:30 for the retarded, inbred farm hands around here. Because we have work to do. Hard work, which leaves your boots dirty and your throat thirsty.”

He almost turned to go, but then he remembered something: “Oh, and it’s very possible that my father will come over here and try to convince you that he’s right to want to ruin my brother with this stock route. I suggest you at least put on some pants before he gets here.”

“Your father?” the other guy asked, a little self-conscious and fumbling at his bathrobe again.

“Yeah, tall guy. Wears a beard. Can be a real handful.” Dean only wanted out of here now and moved back down the hall towards the front door, his new neighbor tapping after him.

Dean grew even angrier now. Did he want to make sure that the dumb farm boy actually left?

When he opened the front door, rage boiling in his gut, he saw that the windmill wasn’t working.

“Dude, how are you getting water for your cattle? The pump’s are not working when the windmill‘s busted.”

“I’ll have someone look at it in a few days,” the guy said to Dean’s back.

“Better do it fast, or your stock will die. In which paddock are they right now?”

“I don’t really know,” the other man admitted and this time Dean really rolled his eyes.

“Is there a creek in it?”

“Yes,” he nodded enthusiastically at being able to answer Dean’s question.

“That’s good. That’ll last them for a while. Do you have a tool box?”

“No.”

Dean rolled his eyes again, actually hiding his face in his hands now.

“I’ll bring one tomorrow and I’m gonna fix it.”

“Thanks for offering, but I can really take care of this myself.”

“Look, until you got a guy outta here to fix it, your stock will need moving and then they’ll be gagging for a drink. I‘m just being neighborly here and I hate to see animals suffer because of something like this.”

“I’ll have a check ready for you tomorrow.”

“Keep it. Happy to help,” Dean said but despite his words, he felt more rage boiling in his gut.

“City farmers having more money than sense,” he muttered as he saw Sam’s truck pulling up the driveway and in another minute they sped off Porter’s farm and back to Cedar Ridge.

He really didn’t need this crap. His brother and father at odds with each other, him between the front lines and having to take up negotiations with someone who thought of him as a backwards hill billy? All he wanted to do was train some horses and keep his family together. But he hadn’t managed anything of that lately, he thought with guilt pooling in his gut.

He felt like an absolute failure as they reached Sam’s farm again and his brother sat down to call up the only two organic vehicle rentals in the area. One didn’t want Sam’s business at all, being on the buddy list of their dad’s for years and the other said he didn’t have an opening for another week, which would have seen the best week for planting come and go, but Sam took the offer nonetheless. He really didn’t have much choice.

Dean looked at his little brother, and finally told him that their neighbor wanted some figures before he made his decision and that he couldn’t tell yet to which the guy tended.

Sam nodded and then told him that he had found out that the family of the new neighbor had bought the property, sent him out here without even having the slightest experience with farming. But also that so far he had coped pretty well, despite not knowing the front of a cow from the back.

Then Sam ushered Dean out to work on the quarter horse while he did his work and Dean smiled to himself. His brother knew him so well that he knew his itching to continue the horse training, and there really wasn’t all that much to do until they could sow. Dean wasn’t used to being able to focus on one job for an entire day, and found that it was incredibly relaxing as the old barn and stable creaked behind him in the wind which had picked up a little since he‘d come here.

The work with the mare calmed Dean like it always did and by the end of the day, he felt ready to take the horse out for a ride to the fences tomorrow morning before he went over to the other property again. She had taken well to the saddle, Dean guiding her around for a long while before he mounted. She had bucked for only a minute, Dean raspily whispering to her until she stood still and then he had pressed his thighs into her side a bit and taken up the bridle. The mare had started moving reluctantly, but listened to Dean’s every command in the end.

When he led her back into her worm-eaten box, he realized that he hadn’t thought about their neighbor the entire day, which he rectified during his evening shower, which helped him get rid of the tension in more ways then one. Nothing against a little action in the shower at the end of a long day, not even if it involved mental images of pulling dark brown hair and biting plush lips to muffle an orgasmic scream.

 

In the morning, Dean found himself yet again at Porter’s farm, knocking at the front door. This time around, he was answered immediately, by someone bleary eyed, but completely dressed.

“Mornin`,” Dean greeted and held up a folder with the promised papers and a heavy toolbox. He felt a little ridiculous for having taken both the items out of the back of the truck, but he had to admit to himself that he wanted to make an impression, even if he was still pissed about the things that had been said yesterday. And the day before. Not to mention about himself, fantasizing about the other man in his subconscious and since yesterday evening, also in a completely conscious state.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel Novak said and Dean felt his heart thumping uncontrollably at that.

But then his brain caught up with his fluttering stomach and palpitating heart, he wondered why the Novak guy knew his name all of a sudden and evil dawned on him.

“If you know who I am now, I’m guessing my father was here yesterday?” he frowned.

He only got a nod in return as his neighbor held out his hand for the folder while Dean nodded curtly in turn and walked over to the windmill with the other man again in his tow, just like yesterday.

Perhaps it wasn’t like he was being chased anywhere, but because the other man just wanted to be friendly by following him, so Dean did his best to act likewise as well.

“So, we’re going by first name basis now, Castiel?”

“Yes.”

Dean only nodded and climbed up the metal contraption to check what was blocking the windmill from working.

While he got up, he realized that Castiel was a lot more quiet than yesterday and he self-consciously asked himself if that maybe was about him in any way. Did he think him too stupid to carry on a decent conversation?

“So, what did you and the old man talk about? Has he tried to win you over on the stock route front?”

“He did. And his arguments sounded very convincing,” Cas yelled up at Dean and then asked with concern in his voice: “Aren’t you gonna wear a harness or something?”

“Dude, I been climbing windmills since I was 5 years old. I’m not gonna fall.”

“Well if you’re sure,” Castiel shouted back up and watched as Dean wriggled the bit behind the blades that would kick the windmill back into gear, should that be the problem.

“Yahtzee,” he yelled as the windmill started turning again and he climbed back down. “Piece’ a cake.”

“You’re handy,” Castiel praised him.

“Ain’t nothing special ’bout it,” Dean said shyly, his face reddening as he saw adoration for his skills shown on Castiel’s face. “Right,” he cleared his throat when he caught himself staring at the other man’s face again. “Is anything else broken, or do you need any other help?”

“No, I don’t. Your father has offered me some of his farmhands until I can hire my own and they’re just out to move the cattle.”

Dean grew furious at that. “So you let me play the clown for you when you had people around who could actually do the job fine? Awesome!” he said with bile in his voice at his father and at the attractive guy in front of him.

“I- uh… asked them not to fix it, because you already said that you would. I didn’t wanna turn down your offer.”

“Well next time you say a word before you let me do the monkey dance, alright?”

“Yes,” Castiel said, completely mute again on the way back to the main house.

Dean was pissed and dumped his tool kit in the back of the truck so that it made a very loud noise.

“And what’s with the silent treatment?” he bursted out. “You’ve been going back and forth between chatty Kathy and muteness today when only yesterday you threw all kinds’ a shit in my face.”

“Yes, about that: I am sorry I treated you like that. I judged you without knowing who you were. And now I don‘t know what to say so I don‘t offend you,” Castiel said demurely.

Dean’s hands were shaking because he was so angry. “Great, so now you know that my father is John Winchester, the biggest cattle farmer in the state, I’m worth talking to like I’m not a complete idiot?”

“No, I didn’t mean that. Just that you’re a person who helps other people out without expecting anything back. But you’re right, your father talked about you. He said you’re a hard worker and incredibly loyal… Why are you looking so angry? Those are good qualities to have.”

“Because he was just playing you, you stupid son of a bitch. He obviously wanted you to say that to me so I’d go back home and abandon Sammy and his farm.”

Cas blushed at the pronoun, clearly remembering how he had called Dean out on Sam being another one of his harem and being completely wrong with his guess.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know,” Dean snarled and turned around.

Castiel was leaning against the side of his truck and looking downright edible with a confused frown and a rueful expression.

“You know, perhaps you should get to know a person before you judge them.”

“Same goes for you,” Cas gave back.

“No, I don’t need to, because my first impression of you was completely right. City boy, no idea about farming and-” he had talked himself into a frenzy and his body acted without his control as he felt himself rumble lowly: “And hot as sin.”

He pressed himself against Castiel now and his calloused hands came to rest on both sides of the other one’s face as he plunged their mouths together. Roughly and with all the build up anger still coursing through his veins, he licked over Castiel’s lips, dipping his tongue in-between them, practically forcing him to open up and triumphantly growling when Castiel moaned against him as their tongues played over each other.

Dean’s hands were now braced against his truck as he pressed Castiel into the metal door of the shotgun side and kept kissing him until they were both out of breath.

“And by the way? I’m gay,” he panted, the heat having left his body now as he slowly removed his sweaty hands from the car and let Castiel back away.

He nodded at the other man who looked at him with hooded eyes and swollen lips as Dean walked over to the driver’s side of his car and got in.

“I wish I could stay to unravel the mystery that you are, but I gotta get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow at my father’s farm. We’re gonna vote tomorrow ev‘ning.”

Castiel only nodded and Den felt pretty happy with himself, chuckling when the dust of the road hadn’t covered the clean handprints on the car back up when he got back to Cedar Ridge.


	4. Chapter 4

“So what exactly happened? Is he on board or not?”

“I haven’t really talked to him about that today.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I handed him the folders and fixed the windmill. And I… I kissed him.”

“You what?”

“I kissed him, ok?”

“Dean, I don’t appreciate you thinking with your downstairs brain when it comes to something like this. It’s important.”

“I know, ok? But what could I do? He was just there and looking all frowny and-… I just couldn’t help it.”

“You never can.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asked, the rage of the last few days finding it’s way into his stomach once more. 

“Did you talk to him? Did he want it?”

“Well…,” now that Sam mentioned it, he didn’t feel as good about kissing Castiel anymore, too much was at stake for Dean to simply work through his frustration with the other man and he really didn't know if the kiss had even been wanted. It felt like Castiel was into it, but he hadn't exactly asked first, just acted.

Sam groaned and hid his face about Dean's undoubtedly very descriptive expression. “You don’t think, Dean. So he didn’t even want to be kissed by you. What if he votes yes now, just outta spite because you did that?”

Dean felt a hit in his stomach. Had Castiel wanted this? Did he force himself on him? Maybe Sam was right. He shouldn’t have done it, maybe this was gonna be the thing that would tip the scale into a direction that they didn’t want.

“I’m- you know…,” he wanted to apologize to Sammy.

Sam let out a long breath at that. “Yeah, me too,” he answered, knowing what Dean meant. “It’s none of my business what you do with him. I only have the property in mind.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow then, right?”

“Yeah.”

 

In the evening of the next day, they were back on Winchester’s farm for the first time, arriving just when Charlie and Jess were pulling up, together with their father Frank.

“Hey, Mr. Devereaux. How are you?”

“Would be a whole lot better if I wouldn’t have to be here,” the older man quipped, while Charlie and Jess smiled. “But don’t worry, son. The idiot that’s your father won’t get this thing past me.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“It’s not just that. I bet if we’d have to build that stock route, he’d be clipping his cameras all over the fence posts just like here. Call me crazy, but I don’t like the idea to have my ugly mug all over your father’s flat screen when I do the fence run.”

“Yeah, you can betcha he’d do that,” Dean nodded because that sounded just like his father.

Neither of them wanted to go in yet, so they stood around and talked for a while. Bobby came by on the way back to his quarters from a hard days’ work and stopped by for a chat when he saw them all.

“Good to see you, son. Your father had been in a sour mood the entire time that you’ve been gone,” he told Dean. “We all did our best to avoid him,” he said, just when Rufus Turner pulled up the driveway as well.

“What’s this now, is it national hermit meeting day or what?” Frank said sourly when Rufus walked over.

“Apparently so, you mad bastard,” Rufus grinned. “But you’re no worse than Bobby. Hadn’t seen him for ages and now already twice this week?”

“Oh cry me a river, ye idjits. It’s not as if I’m happy to see you ugly bastards either.”

The younger ones only looked at themselves, knowing the inevitable was coming as all three older men muttered incoherent words under their breath until Frank spoke up.

“Poker?”

“Thursday?” Bobby asked back.

“I’ll bring the whisky,” Rufus ended the conversation.

They all demanded to know why Dean, Sam, Charlie and Jess were laughing so hard after this little (predictable) conversation when the last person they didn’t even know they were waiting for, came up behind them.

“Hello,” Dean heard a familiar gravely voice in his back.

“Hi,” he answered fast and tried to grin, but stopped when Castiel just frowned at him.

The tension was back immediately, Dean itched to feel Castiel up close again, not knowing whether to kiss him or slap him. Sam put a hand on his chest then, effectively breaking the moment and they had a silent conversation about how it was better if Dean pulled back right now. He nodded wordlessly before he looked back at Castiel, who frowned even more now when everyone moved over to the door.

Mary Winchester came out and brushed past everyone to throw one arm each around her boys first.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too,” Dean told her and Sam mumbled something affirmative as well.

When they let go, Mary wiped her tears and said in a throaty voice: “Well, what are y’all waiting for? Move in.”

 

As soon as all of them were in the living room, silence fell. Only a few seconds later, heavy footsteps were heard in the hall and John came in.

“Ev’ning, fellas,” he said, effectively ignoring the women in the room. “We all know why we’re here, I guess.” He went over to a map of all their five properties on a card holder. “Here you can see our five properties and the stock route that cuts right through all of them. And here you see a balance sheet of how the route will make you a profit in only a couple of years. Minimizing transportation cost and being a general fast route in case the fire crews can’t get through on the main road.”

Here, he paused and gave the floor to other speakers and Sam took the word immediately.

“Yes, but what about my farm? It is gonna be organic, and I’m the most affected by the changes made. It practically cuts my property in half.”

“I have a solution for that,” John spoke up then. “You can create a buffer zone next to the road.”

“I already created a buffer zone next to your property because you insist on flying pesticides. How much more land do you want me to waste? Will you find another old route somewhere else? Something that maybe cuts right across my land again, so it’s all nice and quartered?”

At this point Dean calmed his brother with a hand on his shoulder, which made Sam settle down as John waited for more people to raise their voices in the matter, but when everybody seemed determined to come to a decision now, he only nodded and opened the voting up.

“Let’s hear it, then. And let‘s leave the first vote to our new neighbor.”

Everyone in the room knew that with Castiel’s decision, this was gonna be decided.

“I’m in favor of the stock route,” he said. “It sounds like a good idea.”

Castiel looked at Dean who grew pale and tried to get over the shock when Sam gave him a bitchface, clearly saying that this was all his fault.

He felt a brick sit in his stomach as his father also voted in favor of the notion. Frank and Sam voted against it and then it was Rufus’ turn.

“Rufus,” John encouraged, a fond smile on his face, which Rufus didn’t return.

“I vote no,” he said definitively, to the surprise of everyone. “Bobby told me that you’re only doing this to screw your son over, and neither of us really need this route to be bulldozed. You would profit from it the most and anyway, I bet the farmer’s association would be really interested in your business practices if you sprayed the boundary in averse wind again.”

John looked as if he had been punched in the face. He looked at everyone, wanting support, but he wouldn’t get any as Dean announced: “That means the subject’s dropped now and we can stop talking about this,” he looked at Castiel with a very sour expression, the tension level rising further than it yet had.

 

John was in an even sourer mood than Dean for the rest of the evening, but only those who knew him really well could look past his façade. They all knew he was thinking hard all over dinner, but Dean suspected it would take a while until John had recovered enough to get over this, so he was free to keep staring at Castiel who sat across from him.

Did he imagine it, or did the other man carefully avoid his gaze? While his vote didn’t even matter in the end, Dean still wondered why he had sided with John. Had Sam been right and had Dean sunken further in the other man’s opinion?

He saw the other man get up after desert and join the others on the patio. Dean didn’t leave him out of his sight for the rest of the evening, walking after him when they went for a stroll around on the property before it was gonna be time to leave.

Castiel turned his steps to the stable, and Dean thought that that was really perfect because he wanted to see how the horses were doing too and like this he could combine the talk he had to have with it, so he shouted: “Hey!” and jogged closer.

Castiel flinched when he heard Dean’s voice.

“Hello.”

He didn’t say more than that for a few minutes until they reached the stable and Dean walked inside to greet the horses, Castiel following him like he had done before.

“Is that all you’re gonna say?” he asked over his shoulder, petting his mom’s horse and checking if the hay rack was full. 

“Yes. Because every time I say more than that there seems to be conflict between us. Or I get assaulted with a tongue.”

“What are you saying?” Dean said, coming even closer.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me like that.”

“How should I have kissed you?” Dean asked, his fingers already trailing up Castiel’s arm, but his movement froze when he met his eyes, which were unresponsive and closed off.

“Oh, I see. Not at all, right?” He turned to go, hurt pooling in his stomach.

“Wait!” Castiel said loudly, capturing Dean’s hand and drawing him back in. 

Dean only followed too willingly and felt his body pressed against Castiel’s, both their breaths hitching as their groins rubbed over each other, the fabric of their jeans producing friction that made Dean gasp out: “You’re really not making a lot of sense now, you know that?”

“I know,” Castiel mouthed before he searched for Dean’s mouth with his own, moaning hungrily when he found it. He pressed his nimble fingers into Dean’s hipbones and pressed him even closer, flexing his body against him, letting him feel the hardness in his jeans.

“Fuck,” Dean bit out between kisses, as he maneuvered Castiel back into his horse’s empty and clean box. He closed the latch in an old habit, and then pressed Castiel against the back of the stable like he had done yesterday against his truck. “Fuck,” he mouthed again when Castiel popped the button of his jeans and eagerly reached inside his trousers. “Cas-, fuck!” he groaned as the other man started stroking him, a whirlwind of movement that didn‘t allow questions about where it came from, tension evident in every move and word.

“Uh huh, yes!” Cas breathed with an edge, encouraging Dean to brace himself against the wall again and really lay into his hand now. 

Dean thrusted into Cas’ fist, kissing the other man deeply as he was jerked until he came all over his hand, never stopping moving and licking into his mouth even as he shouted out his orgasm.

“Hell yeah,” he groaned as the last wave of come shot out, and then he immediately got onto this knees, opening Cas’ trousers now, pulling those briefs down like he had wanted to and happily muttering: “Seamless,” as he took Cas’ hard cock into his mouth and sucked him enthusiastically to return the favor.

“I don’t even know what you meant right now, but just don’t stop,” Cas moaned above him, his hands now in Dean’s hair as he swirled his tongue over the head of Cas’ cock. His fingers massaged the others’ stomach until they sneaked around, playing over Cas’ ass and darting in-between the cheeks, his hand stuck obscenely in the still halfway pulled up trousers.

Dean moaned and caught Cas’ eye as his fingers stimulated his pucker and he continued to give him head.

“Fuck ah,” was all the warning he got until he felt Cas coming right onto his tongue.

Dean swallowed and pressed a couple of kisses to Cas’ spent cock, his knees protesting now that the moment of passion was over and he got back up, grinning and wanting to kiss Cas again.

Dean was completely surprised when Cas didn’t give him his mouth again, but he wouldn’t give up, not now.

He trailed kisses along Cas’ jaw instead, whispering with an edge and butterflies in his stomach: “Kiss me, goddamn it.”

Cas sighed heavily and turned his head again, looking at Dean as if he would jump off a cliff any second now and then they were kissing again, long and deeply.

Dean’s hands roamed Cas’ body, opening his rumpled shirt fully kissing and stroking for long minutes while they both hardened again.

“I think I stashed some lube here. Whenever the horses get sick, I sleep here and watch over them ‘til they’re better. Can get awful lonely here in the nights, I’m telling ya,” he grinned at Cas, then lowered his head, nibbling and playing over the others’ nipples, which he had managed to expose. “I really wanna fuck you right now,” he whispered hoarsely when he moved back up again and Cas nodded with a heavy lidded expression.

“Dean? Are you here?” Dean heard his brother’s voice at the opening of the barn. “Dad’s drunk and picking a fight with Bobby. I think we’re gonna need you.”

“Yeah ok, Sammy,” Dean said completely frustrated, his hands still splayed on Cas’ half naked body. “I’ll be right out.”

“Damn our father for being a fucking cockblock,” he grumbled, smiling at Cas apologetically.

He wasn’t prepared to see shock, relief and wet eyes there.

“You and Sam are brothers?” Cas said with a definite hitch in his voice.

“Yeah,” Dean said incredulously. He waited for Cas to say some more, but he only stared at him with watery eyes.

“You didn’t think? …Really?”

“Yes, I thought you and Sam were married. And your father didn’t approve of your choices and wanted to screw you over.”

“He didn’t mention that he had two sons when he visited you? Of course he didn’t,” he answered himself, just when Cas shook his head as well.

“So, you were thinking I was a cheating bastard when you saw me and Sam today? And that’s why you didn’t wanna kiss me again when you had finished?”

“Yes,” Cas admitted, and pulled Dean incredibly close again. “I saw the way you calmed each other with one touch and non verbal communication and I came to the wrong conclusion.”

“I thought you had learned your lesson not to judge me too soon,” Dean rasped.

“Apologies,” Cas whispered. “I am really sorry.”

“Well, you should be,” and despite Sam’s words, Dean took the time to ravish Cas’ mouth one last time before they both righted their clothes and walked back to the main house.

“Next time we’re going on a real date and we’re gonna really talk to each other,” Dean declared and Cas finally genuinely smiled at him, without restraint.

“I’d love that.”

“Me and Sammy are gonna be sowing all of next week, so it’s gonna be either before or after that.”

“Let’s say after,” Cas said. “I wanna have time to really get to know you.”

 

They walked back to the main house just in time to see John stomp off into the one direction while Bobby walked off into the other.

“What’s happened?” Dean asked Sam who stood next to Jess and Charlie.

“Dad’s just fired Bobby.”

“What? Why?” 

“Apparently he sees it as betrayal of the farm’s best interests that Bobby went and talked to Rufus about the stock route.”

“But he can’t do that, not without at least three warnings,” Cas said.

“Well, he says he can if the betrayal makes the farm lose business. And according to him, it did.”

“Where’d Bobby go then?”

“He’s packing. And then he’s coming back to our place,” Sam announced in a manner as if it were completely obvious.

“Good call, Sammy. I’m proud of you.”

“Though I don’t know how on earth I am to pay him anything,” Sam scratched his head.

“We’ll figure it out,” Dean said confidently, meaning basically his entire life right now. 

“I think we’ve got no business here anymore now, huh?” Rufus said when Bobby’s old truck squeaked up to them, the entire set of his belongings in the back. “We still on for poker?”

“ ‘course,” Bobby announced, coming up in time to hear Rufus‘ question.

Frank nodded before he said: “Our place, and you boys come over as well.”

“I don’t think we can, Frank. We really need to focus on work.”

“Son, you can’t work all day long, you’re allowed to have some fun once in a while. Anyway, let’s count this as a win,” Rufus said to them all. “Not everyone could have thawed John Winchester like we just did. And the rest of the pieces, we‘ll pick up,” he nodded at Bobby.

“I’m actually glad to be leaving the place. Guess I gotta start up on reading about organic farming then, eh?”

They all went to their vehicles now and Dean followed Cas to his car to say goodbye.

“Hey listen. I was wondering what the reason was why you voted for my father’s proposition in there?” he nodded back to the house, now that the afterglow had faded, remembering why he had been tense before.

“Because I thought you were a worthless cheating bastard who tried to lure me into something stupid by making me want him?” Cas asked, and his Dean’s eyes could be trusted in the growing darkness, he saw the other man blushing.

“And do you still think that?” he whispered, yet again pressing Cas against a car.

“No. Except for the ‘making me want him’ bit,” he smiled and captured Dean’s mouth with his again.

Dean didn’t know if he was ready to let everyone see this, didn’t even know what exactly he wanted from this man. He only knew that he absolutely wanted this. Kissing Cas seemed like the most important thing he had done for a long while as he felt long fingers sneak underneath his shirt again and he was pulled forward until they pressed together hotly.

“Hey Cas,” he chuckled. “We don’t really need to give the others a show, do we?”

“I suppose not,” Cas replied, definitely looking happier now than Dean had yet seen him. “So can I call you while you’re busy sowing?”

“Only if you wanna live,” Dean rasped sassily.

“And you’re coming to this poker game at…”

“Frank’s,” Dean helped him out. “Yeah, might as well. Can’t let your sweet ass out of my sight for too long.”

Dean heard cars driving off behind him and he vaguely wondered if Sammy would leave him behind and just get outta here, but when Cas’ hands sneaked into the back pockets of his jeans, he really didn’t care about anything else than that.

“Same goes to you,” Cas smiled.

“How was that about the ‘making him want me’ part? You’re pretty good at that yourself. Fuck, I wish I could just give you more right now, but…”

“Yes, you have to go. Talk to me when you go to bed though,” Cas’ eyes sparkled with promise as he let go of Dean and gently pushed him away, his hands on his chest.

He opened his door and gave Dean one last smile before he reared off towards his own home.

Dean thought his head was packed in cotton and his pants felt uncomfortable as he walked to the shotgun side of Sam’s truck. Even from afar, he could see how incredulous Sam looked at him as he heard someone come up behind him.

“Son,” obviously it was John.

“Yeah, dad? What do you want?”

“What do I want?” John asked to himself. “Obviously I want you to come home. With your brother doing his thing now, this farm will be entirely yours one day. You should work and live here again. It would mean a lot to your mother.”

Dean gulped. It was really not fair to play the mom card, because John knew how much he missed her. Talking to her every day, going on hunts and generally her whole person.

John had to see that Dean was conflicted, because he went on: “Besides, I can’t see you working for your brother. Or doing organic farming. You always looked down on it.”

“And I always looked down on city farmers too, but I think right now I’m falling for one which I additionally just gave head in your barn,” was what Dean thought, but not said. 

The situation had been easy when he just had to choose his brother over his father, but here he stood, having to choose Sammy over his future on this farm, his parents and his own plans?

Still, the answer was always gonna be: “I’ll go with Sammy.”

“Your choice, son. But you know you don’t need to come back here if you go, right? I told your brother the same and if you wanna go that way, you’re gonna stay gone.”

“Yeah, I get that. But do you notice something, dad? Sammy is gone, Bobby is gone. And now you’re telling me to be gone?” he shrugged. “Kinda seems like everyone leaves, doesn’t it? Maybe you should think about what you’re doing, before even more people leave you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” John practically barked now.

Dean held up his hands: “Nothing, but maybe you shouldn’t say that to every person who has their own opinion, is all.”

He nodded back at his father and opened the shotgun seat of Sam’s truck in which they had gotten here without another look back.

“Let’s go, Sammy.”

Sam only nodded and didn’t say a word while they pulled away, leaving the farm, on which they had been brought up on, behind for a very long time to come.


	5. Chapter 5

“So, I don’t know what to ask first. About you and our neighbor, or about what happened with dad back there,” he said once they had passed the mailbox of John’s property.

“With dad… well you know. Same old stuff. If you go now, you should stay gone mumbo jumbo.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam meant it. “I didn’t want you two at odds too just because of this.”

“I know, Sammy. Neither did I. _He_ did though.”

“And the other thing?”

“Me and Cas? Yeah… He didn’t really mean it, you know? When he voted against us. He thought you and I were together and I was a cheating bastard for kissing him.”

“But kissing wouldn’t even have been that bad.”

“Yeah, well. It didn’t stop at kissing today.”

“You… what?”

“Yeah, I think I’m dating our new neighbor now.”

Sam thought about this for a while, but now that the stock route had been averted, he really didn’t have an interest in the matter anymore.

“Well, if you’re sure. Do you like him?”

“I dunno, I guess. If he wouldn’t be so damn aggravating all the time…” Dean felt Sam’s gaze on him and at last admitted: “Yeah, I do.”

“Then don’t muck it up. Promise me you’ll be good together.”

“Woah, there. I don’t even know what it is yet. I kinda still need to figure that out.” Sam looked at him confusedly so Dean explained further: “I dunno about ‘together‘, is all I‘m saying.”

“C’mon, Dean. I know you. You’re playing this down, even though you’re head over heels for the guy. You have been ever since you’ve seen him at the bar.”

Dean didn’t want to admit to himself what an open book he was for his brother. He made a non-committal noise, but even that brought an expression to Sam’s face as if he’d just scored a home run.

“Listen Sammy,” Dean spoke up again, trying to steer their conversation out of the depth of his emotional status right now. “I was wondering, because you know, we’re both wayward sons now… How’d you feel if I bought myself into your place?”

Sam didn’t say anything, he just looked surprised.

“Yeah,” Dean went on. “You would still do your organic business, and I’d try to make it my own as well. But you know I only wanna train horses, so if you’d give me like one or two paddocks where I could train ‘em and maybe work on a breeding program as well, that would be cool. You know I still have my trust fund, right?”

“Yeah, I figured. Yours must even be a little fuller than mine. Dad’s paid into it for four years longer after all,” Sam pondered, thinking about Dean’s suggestion.

“I know you wanted to do your own thing, and I’m not gonna hammer you or nothing, it would just give us more room to go into crops and cattle, y’know? We could give Bobby a raise from the leading hand wage he got at dad’s and maybe hire a couple more guys or so. How about you think about it for a few days and then you’ll decide?”

“I don’t think I’ll need that long.” Sam looked at his brother with a moved expression. “You don‘t only think with your downstairs brain, Dean,” he admitted defeat on that one. “It’s a great idea.”

“Yeah, well… You were kinda right about the downstairs brain though. But now that it’s satisfied for a time I had more time to think with my real noggin.”

“First of all, gross! Second of all, I don’t think it’s just your downstairs brain that’s in this.”

“We’ll see,” Dean shrugged but secretly, he couldn’t wait to get home and call Cas goodnight.

 

“Hi, Cas. How’s life?”

“You know how my life is, I’ve seen you two hours ago,” was the distracted reply.

“You ok there?”

“I’m fine, just tired,” Dean heard cackling in the line and a harsh breath from Cas.

“Hey, is someone over there with you? It sounds like there is a lot of noise in your house.”

“It’s fine. It’s been like this since I moved here,” Cas’ voice was distant. One, because the connection was so bad and two, because his voice sounded closed off.

“Should I come over?” Dean grinned into the phone, though Cas obviously couldn’t see it.

“No,” Cas said, sharper than Dean thought was necessary.

“Ok then,” he answered, taken aback. “I was just about to hit the sack anyway. But before I go though, what are you wearing?”

“I haven’t undressed yet.”

“Shame. Wanna guide me through the process of you doing that?”

“I’d rather not keep you from sleeping for longer. I’m sure you have a long day tomorrow. Good night.”

“Night,” Dean whispered into the dial tone of the phone. Cas had just hung up on him.

 

“I’m telling you, he didn’t wanna talk to me,” Dean said, a couple of days later, and also three unsatisfactory goodnight calls later. “Maybe he regrets doing what we did,” Dean said as he and Sam climbed up the silo to check on the seeds one last time, while Bobby already got the sowing machine in place down at the opening of the silo.

“I don’t think he did. I saw how much you two hit it off on poker night,” Sam answered while they unscrewed the cap of the silo from two different directions.

It was true. They had talked much during the poker game and for once, Dean hadn’t minded to be distracted and losing until Rufus grudgingly put a ban on the both of them playing because they didn’t take it seriously. They had gone out to the porch while the game went on inside. At first, Charlie had joined them to talk, laughing when they heard the older men curse inside as Sam kept winning. But as the evening grew late, Charlie had gone to bed and promptly after her leaving, Dean and Cas had made out for one hour straight until Sam found them on the porch, his wallet barely able to hold all his winnings. After that, Dean regretfully had gone home alone because Cas took the opportunity to breathe free air again to say that he would drive to his property now as well.

When Dean had again called him once he was in bed, painfully hard and all prepared to jerk off to Cas’ voice hoarse from all the kissing tonight, Cas had once again been distracted and there were several loud noises in the background. The call had dropped out before Dean had even opened his pants and he had hung up in the end when there was nothing to be heard, even though the call hadn’t ended.

 

“You said there were strange noises in the background each time? Maybe he really was just distracted. Call him again over lunch, he‘ll be in a better mood then, I promise.”

“You don’t know that, Sammy.”

“I hope so,” Sam gave him a short, pained smile, while they each checked a couple of hands full of the grain.

“Looks good on my end.”

“Yeah, same here,” Sam announced and then shouted down to Bobby. “Alright, let’s load her up!”

“You got it,” Bobby shouted back as he let the first load of seeds drizzle into the seeder.

Now that Bobby worked here and Sam and Dean had made quick work of getting Dean to be part owner of Cedar Ridge, they had been able to rent three tractors and sowing boxes.

The sowing took a long while, even though they split the work. Sam had purchased enough corn so that a thousand acres of his property needed to be tilled and sowed. The three man were halfway done by the time they returned to the homestead and found a familiar car parked in front of the main house.

“Dad?” Sam asked.

“Neh,” Dean shook his head, not being able to imagine why his father would come here.

When they got out, someone opened the drivers‘ door of the car, and Dean’s face parted into a wide grin.

“Mom!” he yelled and ran over to hug her, dusty, sweaty and weary though he may be.

“Hey you,” Mary smiled at both her boys and hugged Sam too after Dean had let go. “Hey Bobby,” she shouted and raised a hand when another tractor came round the bend and Bobby raised his hand in greeting.

“What are you doing here, mom?” Sam asked, stroking strands of hair out of his face.

“Well, I figured you were gonna be busy all morning, and you’d need a little more than a hasty sandwich. I brought you a care package.” She opened the back of the truck, and they saw not only a basket with the best cold ‘Mary Winchester lunch‘, but also a bunch of stuff they hadn’t thought of buying regularly. Toilet paper and kitchen towels among other things. “And of course, you couldn’t be kept from your baby for longer,” she said and patted the trunk of the Impala as they unloaded it.

“You’re the best, mom,” Dean grinned as he helped to carry in all that Mary had brought. “C’mon, Bobby we have lunch.”

“Alright,” Bobby said, pleasantly surprised. At John’s farm, the staff had never been allowed to have lunch with the owners. Dean had never thought much of that and always ate with the farm hands, almost never retreating to the house to eat. Now that John couldn’t say anything about it anymore, there was no way that Bobby wasn’t gonna eat with them in the house.

Soon they were all in the kitchen, Mary unpacking her salads and marinated cold meat while Dean tried to reach Cas again and his brother and Bobby got plates and cutlery.

“I’m not getting through,” he said. “Nothing, just static.”

“Who are you trying to reach?” Mary asked. “The handsome young man you disappeared in the barn with a few nights ago?”

“Mom, I-” Dean grew incredibly red in the face, more so when Bobby and Sam only smirked at him. “Yes,” he admitted now.

“Maybe he’s busy,” Mary said.

“Yeah, but I don’t even get any response from the phone. Mom?” Dean asked and raised his eyes at her, something dawning on him now that he saw her and he threw all caution to the wind. “There were strange noises in the line the last couple of nights, Cas said he’s heard those before. And now the phones are dead?” he asked, trying to see if Mary’s alarm bells were ringing too, before he cried wolf.

“What are you two talking about?” Sam asked, while Bobby only contemplatively chewed his lunch.

“We’re talking about the possibility that our new neighbor might have a ghost problem, honey,” Mary said matter-of-factly.

“You’re-” Sam stared at his mother as if he’d never seen her, and then thinking about all of this, he turned to look at his brother. “Too?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirmed. “But we can talk about the fact that mom and me are hunting together later, Sammy. I need to get make sure Cas is ok. And I’ll probably drag him back with me afterwards.”

“Woah there, honey,” Mary said. “You can’t go in there without back up.”

“C’mon, mom. We don’t even know anything yet. Maybe we just wants to give me the boot or something. And besides, it‘s the middle of the day.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’re not going alone. Sam, you’re going with him,” she decided. “If there is a ghost, you need to have his back, and if there’s not, you gotta make sure that Dean doesn’t stay there forever. Me and Bobby will finish the job up here.”

“What’s John gonna think if you’re getting home late, clearly having worked while you were gone?” Bobby asked, not in the least bit surprised about Mary and Dean being hunters. Apparently there were very few things that ever escaped his notice.

“He’ll think that he can’t control everything, and maybe that’s a lesson he has yet to learn,” Mary said decisive. “You go now, boys. Have a saltgun on you? Or a wrench?” she asked her eldest.

“Of course, mom. Both.”

“Call me when you know what’s up.”

 

“I can’t believe this, Dean. How long has this been going? Did you always know that mom, of all people, was a hunter?”

“I’ve known since I was 14, Sammy. Mom took me out with her the first time when y‘all were at boarding school.”

“And you thought it would be cool to hide something like this from me? Your secret mother-son club had only two places available?”

“Mom didn’t want us to grow up to be hunters. She knew the urge would awake after the very first hunt, and you were just a kid then. You couldn’t make that kinda choice.”

“But what about later?”

“You were always studying and you looked so happy when you did that. Much different from me. Mom realized I needed something to hold me above ground when I was by myself and you always had that. Then you left for college and it seemed like hunting was the last thing on your mind. So, we didn’t wanna tell you.”

“Does dad know?”

“No, neither about mom nor me.”

“He’s gonna freak, big time.”

“Yeah, maybe. If he ever finds out.”

“So, uh… I dunno what to say next here. What have you and mom hunted, I guess?”

“Mostly ghosts, but there is the odd monster that comes into our neck of the woods sometime… A vampire nest, a couple of werewolves, a rugaru…”

“Rugaru? Sounds made up.”

“I know, right? But those sons a bitches are tough. Take one bite of long pig and they’re monsters for good.”

“Sounds…” Sam didn’t know how he could voice his opinion. “Amazing, to be honest.”

“Yeah, it feels good to put those monsters down. Keepin’ people safe, y’know,” he sighed heavily now. “I swear to god, if something happened to Cas…”

“He’ll be fine, Dean.”

“I hope you’re right.”

 

When they got to Cas’ house, nobody was there, not the new hired hands he talked off at poker night, and no sign of the man himself.

Dean checked the front door. Locked.

“City farmer,” he grumbled, dread in his stomach. “Who locks their frickin’ doors in the country!” he shouted and kicked the door in.

“Woah Dean, steady,” Sam tried to calm, but Dean didn’t listen. He had his shotgun raised and did a sweep through all the rooms on the ground floor.

“All clear, let’s check upstairs. And don’t look at me like that, Sammy.”

Sam tried to get a normal, not completely freaked out expression on his face again as Dean checked every room upstairs and gulped heavily at rumpled bedding and the telephone receiver not being back in it’s cradle.

“Leaves attic and basement, doesn’t it?” Sam asked, not wanting to stop Dean anymore at the obvious signs that not all was well.

“Right, attic first,” Dean said and climbed up the stairs.

Sam shook his head in the attic repeatedly, and Dean agreed. There was nothing here, but the fact that Sam realized this too without any experience taught Dean all he needed to know. Sam had caught the hunting bug as well.

“Hey, Dean? This door is locked,” Sam proofed his sleuth nose again when they went into the cellar next. He stood by excitedly and more than a little terrified when he found a locked latch in the roomy cellar.

“Get out of the way,” Dean grunted and kicked the door in just like he had done with the front door.

For a second, they couldn’t see anything, but then they saw a huddled figure, chained to a wall and a spirit gliding straight toward them. The spirit was that of a young girl, not having grown past her teenage years. She was incredibly pale and had a wild expression in her eyes.

Dean didn’t even think, he just shot salt at her and then ran into the chamber, seeing Cas unconscious or worse.

“Sammy, can you help me with those cuffs? I think she’ll be back any minute.”

Sam tried to find a key or smash the cuffs with a stone. Dean emptied his shotgun as the ghost tried to get at them again until he grunted, and swung his wrench at the ghost repeatedly while Sam didn’t make any headway with freeing Cas.

“Here, take this,” he handed Sam the wrench. “I’ll pick it. When she comes at you, you swing it, no hesitation, ok?”

Sam nodded and Dean looked around for something to pick the lock with. He picked up a rusty old nail from the floor and waggled it in the lock of the cuffs, his hands shaking like they usually never did on a job when Cas didn’t even stir with all the uproar in here.

“Got it,” he said, too long after and looked up to see Sammy’s breath heave as he swung at the ghost another time.

“Let’s get outta here.”

“But, Dean. We gotta put her down first.”

“Yeah smartass, I know that. But we don’t know anything. This is a rescue mission. We can finish the job later. Help me with him.”

“Ok sure,” Sam held on to the piece of iron as they heaved Cas out of the cellar and up the stairs.

“C’mon, Sam,” Dean said as Sam saw the spirit race towards them one last time before he shut the door to the basement.

“You think that’s gonna keep it in there?” Dean laughed bitterly, grabbing Cas and carrying him out of the door. “We need to get outta here.”

Sam nodded and helped him to get Cas into the backseat of the truck in which they had come here.

“Go,” Dean urged as he saw the spirit stand in the entrance of the house and checked Cas everywhere, the wheels of the truck making a rough sound of the gravel around the homestead. Dean reaching into Cas’ trouser pockets and reached under his shirt, splaying his fingers over the other man‘s body everywhere.

“Um, Dean… You realize I’m still here, right?”

“It’s not what you think. I gotta make sure she didn’t plant anything on him. Some ghosts do, you know? So that they can leave the place they’re tied to.”

“Ok,” Sam nodded, taking in the new information like a sponge.

When Dean was sure that there was nothing fishy on Cas, he kept stroking his face softly, begging him to wake up in his thoughts while Sam kept throwing glances at them in the backseat.

Once they had passed the boundary of Cas’ property, he finally stirred, his eyes softly opening and when he found Dean’s anxious stare above him, he rasped tiredly: “Hello, Dean.”

“Son of a bitch,” Dean answered and ripped him up into his arms, just too glad that he was awake and mostly ok.

“You scared the shit outta me,” he grabbed Cas even tighter, his body the only thing that could make Dean’s aching, panicky heart stop hurting when he pressed him close to it as it galloping away in his chest.

“Do you need a doctor, Cas?” Sam took up Dean’s nickname for him without a second thought. “Anything hurting?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, apart from the sleeping beauty impression you just gave for way too long.”

“So, you think I’m beautiful?” Cas teased and Dean nearly hit him at that, but contented himself by holding him even tighter now.

“Not helping, smartass.”

They didn’t say another word until Cas’ head peaked up from Dean’s chest a little confusedly at seeing himself on a rundown farm.

“Where are we?”

“We’re home,” Dean answered and felt like a mother hen as he held out his arms for Cas to climb out into when he helped him out of the car.


	6. Chapter 6

“You live here?”

“It’s all very fresh. We’re still in the build up,” Sam said, a little embarrassed at the rusty material strewn all across the yard and an old pump he had desperately tried to fix up in pieces all over the carport.

“I meant no offence,” Cas tired to tell them. “I just didn’t realize you’d bring me here. I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Shut your face, Cas,” Dean quipped and looked at his brother again. “I’ll take care of him. You can go and check how mom and Bobby get along.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I know you’re itching to be out there, Sammy.”

Sam nodded and left.

“So, that leaves you with me, huh?” Dean grinned at Cas, who was still shaky. “How about I get you into the house, you clean up and then you tell me what happened?”

“Yes,” Cas said, despite his sleepiness before, very tired.

 

“Towels, and shower gel are here. Think you can manage?” Dean asked when Cas heavily sat down on the toilet seat.

“I’m not sure,” he gave back. “I’ve been in this cellar all night, I think. And I‘m a little bit shaky.”

Understatement, Dean thought. “Alright, then. Hold out your arms. I might as well check on you while I’m at it.”

Cas held out his arms compliantly and Dean carefully pulled his t shirt up.

“Damn, when I wanted to see you naked, I didn’t think I’d just pulled you out from under a ghost,” he tried to smirk. He popped Cas’ trouser button and slowly went down on his knees in front of him again as he pulled his legs out of the fabric. “And I thought the next time I was down here would be much like the first,” he grinned again, slowly peeling Cas’ boxers down now.  
“Now I’ve got you naked and you’re too exhausted to do anything,” he let his fingers trail over Cas’ thankfully free of marks or cuts lower abdomen as he slumped against him with his eyes closing.

“You know I don’t think I’ve been this relaxed since I came out here. The sleep I had there was far from restful at any point. But this feels really nice,” Cas opened his eyes then, his gaze hungry, but undoubtedly shaken up from what had happened to him as Dean undressed too now.

“What are you doing?” Cas said as he clung to Dean’s naked shoulders.

“I’m showering with you,” he whispered, deciding that Cas wasn't gonna be able to stand up, let alone wash himself and there was also no idea that Dean was gonna pass on an opportunity to see and touch Cas while completely nakes. “And don’t worry, I’m not gonna jump you or anything. Not yet, anyway.”

“I do appreciate that, Dean. Once you jump me, I want to be able to fully participate,” he yawned.

“Me too,” Dean gave back and urged Cas back into the cubicle. “But I wouldn’t be opposed to giving you a preview.”

He turned the water on, and once the both of them were completely wet, he lathered Cas up, urging him against the wall and kissing him sweetly, but with undoubted heat in it.

“Fuck, I thought you weren’t gonna wake up again. That scared me more than it should,” he gasped out between kisses as he started rubbing shampoo into Cas’ hair.

“I’m alright,” Cas assuaged him. “And I’d be more than alright, if you’d jerk us of now.”

“Think you can handle that?” Dean said, his soapy hand on the side of Cas’ face, feeling their erections grind together between their bodies.

“Do it,” Cas said, his arms around Dean’s shoulders like too often since they got out of his house and he’d regained consciousness.

“Ok, baby. Here we go,” Dean said and grabbed both their cocks, the slide easy in the hot water, as he jerked them together.

“Did you just call me baby?” Cas’ breath hitched, when Dean started stroking fast and hard.

“Yeah,” he moaned, close to his mouth. “Better get used to it, because I like saying that.”

“As you wish,” Cas moaned as Dean thrusted his hips into his grip now, sliding hot and hard over Cas’ own cock. “Fuck, keep going.”

“Hmm,” Dean hummed as a reply, his lips sucking a trail down Cas’ neck now. “ ‘s good,” he thrusted a couple more times, panting into the nook of Cas’ neck until he felt the other man twitch and come. 

Dean followed him a few seconds later, panting out: “Cas, ahhh.”

“Yes,” Cas breathed out, satisfied and clean as Dean turned the water off and helped them both into fresh shirts and boxers, glad that he had already thought of bringing a stash of new clothes for himself as well, a guy could always hope, right?

“Aren’t you gonna put on work clothes again?” Cas asked as he watched Dean dress himself.

“No, I’m not. I’ll bring you to bed now, and I’m not getting up again until you’re well.”

“You don’t need to do that, I can take care of-”

“Shut up,” Dean said again as he helped Cas up the stairs and into his own bedroom. “You’re staying in my bed until I say otherwise.”

“I have the feeling that that would be nothing short of never,” Cas tried to sass as Dean pressed him down into the mattress and slid in next to him.

“You might be right about that,” he whispered and they stared into each others eyes until they both dropped off into a much needed afternoon nap, but not before Dean grouched: “You’re not gonna go all sleeping prince all over me again, you hear me? Or I’ll have to fuck you back to life otherwise, just so you know.”

“Alright,” Cas said sleepily, his fingers trailing little circles on Dean’s back.

 

What felt like several hours later, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Are you decent?” It was Sam.

Dean woke up with a small start, but he calmed down almost immediately when he saw Cas resting next to him, his eyes still closed but a smile on his face, so very different from the almost lifeless form he had been under the ghost sleep.

“Yeah, you can come in, Sammy.”

Sam peeped into the room, not really reassured because Dean’s definition of decent may not fit his own, but he was spared therapy when he saw them both fully clothed.

“We’re finished. Mom’s already started on dinner. It won’t be much, just stuff we got here and the rest from lunch. But if you wanna come down? I think we ought to brainstorm about the thing we saw on Cas’ farm.”

“Yeah, sounds good. Gimme ten minutes,” Dean yawned.

Once Sam had closed the door, he turned Cas around and slid in place over him.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he cooed when Cas continued to smile.

For a minute, Cas didn’t move, but then Dean felt arms working their way up his sides and butterflies exploded in his stomach at it.

“Hey you,” he breathed and let his fingers trail over Cas’ jaw before he kissed him softly.

Cas responded immediately, tightening his grip on him, bringing one hand up to card through Dean’s hair.

Dean moaned as more butterflies exploded inside him at that and his heart missed several beats when Cas hooked one leg up around his hips and pressed his hot groin into his own. Feeling Cas’ arousal through one thin layer of clothing made him almost abandon every thought of dinner, but when he heard a stomach growl, his kisses grew softer and his hands stopped roaming Cas’ body underneath his shirt.

“Let’s pick this up after getting something to eat, ok?” he whispered, and when he opened his eyes he saw Cas finally fully awake underneath him.

“I’ll hold you to it,” was the answer as Dean held out a pair of his own jeans for Cas and saw with elatedness that Cas didn’t shake anymore when he slipped into them.

 

“So, you got any idea who the ghost chick in your house could be?” Dean asked when their lunch table had grown larger by one at dinner. 

“No, sadly not. The last thing I remember is how the noises in the house started up again, like every night and how I tried to talk to you on the phone. Then I don’t remember anything more. I must have slept through the entire ordeal, but it wasn’t restful at all. It felt like I was running but could never get anywhere and shouting but no one could hear me. It felt like I hadn‘t slept for days when I opened my eyes.”

“Was it always like this, sleeping in there?”

“Yes,” Cas confirmed.

“What do you think?” Dean asked his mother. “Sounds like the spirit of a coma patient to me, doing that to other people is their usual m.o. if they don't have another trigger. Know anyone around here in a coma, or who was kept in a basement?” he looked at Mary and Bobby.

Mary shook her head, but Bobby looked contemplative.

“I remember something like that, from when I was young. People used to say old man Porter had a sick daughter at home, who couldn’t leave the house or nothing.”

“Sounds like it fit’s the bill,” Dean nodded and took Cas’ hand, making sure he was still all there and not chained up somewhere.

“Do you know where she’s buried?” Mary asked.

“No I don’t,” Bobby answered. “I don’t even know what happened to her. Maybe she’s still alive somewhere, or her dad had her buried somewhere on the property.”

“We gotta do research now, don’t we?” Dean groaned.

“Yeah, we do,” Mary answered. “But only tomorrow. And then Sam and I are gonna do the work. I’ll give him a crash course while you and Cas will help Bobby to finish the fields.”

“Sounds alright to me,” Dean answered and clapped his brother’s back. “You’re gonna love to do the research. Finally I have my trusted nerd with me on this.”

“What makes you two think I even want in?” Sam tried to sound unwilling, but Mary and Dean only looked at each other once, confirming that they both knew Sammy had caught the bug as well.

“Hey, if you don’t want to, you’re not gonna get to torch it.”

“Torch what?” 

“The bones, Sammy. Or the bit that’s still tying the spirit to this place.”

“No, I want to,” Sammy said immediately. “It’s kinda the family business, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Saving people, hunting things.”

Dean looked at Cas, who seemed not opposed or surprised like so many other people would. 

“Hunters have a moral code?” he asked, seemingly satisfied with it.

“I don’t think all of them have,” Mary granted. “But our family has always held it so.”

“That’s good,” Cas nodded, happy in the knowledge that hunters weren’t like people made them out to be.

They finished eating in silence, until Bobby popped his neck and yawned: “I don’t know about you lot, but I could use some sleep.”

And with that, they cleaned up and all headed to bed.

 

“So, you’re not… you know, because you found out that I’m a hunter?” Dean said, with his back to his bedroom door while Cas had already walked further in, fearing rejection now that he knew what he was.

“That would be hypocritical of me, would it not?” Cas came closer. “Given that you saved me today, and plan on putting a troubled soul to rest?”

“It wouldn’t be. I know how people think about hunters. It would be ok, if you wouldn’t want anything to do with me now.”

“Dean? How do you say so felicitously sometimes?… Shut up!”

Dean looked at Cas a little puzzled, but when he felt lips on his again, he melted against the other man, feeling pulled at and guided into the direction of the bed.

“Would I kiss you if I wasn’t fine with you being a hunter?” Cas asked, already stripping off.

“Or would I touch you like this?” he said next, his fingers stroking over Dean’s torso before he all but ripped the clothes off him.

“Or would I let you fuck me?” he questioned one last time when he pulled Dean between his legs, both completely naked on the bed now.

“No,” Dean rasped back finally, “you wouldn’t.”

“That’s right, I wouldn’t. So stop fooling around. I want you,” he pulled himself open, letting Dean tease his fingers over his pucker before he grabbed lube from the nightstand.

Dean coated his fingers and massaged Cas’ rim for a bit before he pushed one in, just up to the first knuckle.

“Feels good?” 

“Yes,” Cas gasped, pulling his legs up and exposing himself even more. “Keep going. I wanna feel you.”

Dean fingered Cas open languidly, making sure Cas hissed from pleasure before he widened him further.

“Dean,” he moaned loudly when he was finally three fingers inside him, hitting his prostate with squelching sounds.

“Yeah, I know,” Dean answered. “Do I need uh…”

“No, please. It’s all fine.”

“Yeah, with me too,” Dean answered, lubing up and carefully brushing the head of his cock against Cas’ hole.

“Stop teasing me,” Cas moaned wantonly. “I need to feel you now.”

“You got it,” Dean replied, stroking reverently over Cas’ legs on the side of his hips while his cockhead slowly breached into him.

“Wow, baby. You feel so good,” he practically whimpered at the perfect hot clench around him as he pushed further in, Cas’ body welcoming every new inch of him.

“So do you, feels so perfect inside me,” Cas gasped out as Dean finally bottomed out and he welcomed him back in his arms, locking his feet behind Dean’s back. 

“Ready for more?” Dean asked, adjusting a bit, so that his hands were braced next to Cas on the mattress and he had proper leverage.

“Yes, oh yes,” Cas said loudly as Dean almost pulled out and slammed back inside with force. “So good, Dean. More. Kiss me.”

“Uh huh,” Dean moaned, his upper body reaching down until he found Cas’ mouth, interlacing their tongues, hot and wet while he kept pushing into him.

“I feel your cock between us,” he groaned out, thrusting so that he would hit Cas’ prostate.

“Yes, keep thrusting, Dean. It’s so good.”

“Oh fuck,” Dean moaned at feeling another delicious clench around himself as he kept pumping into Cas. “Faster?”

“Yes! Please!” Cas held him nibbling at his bottom lip as Dean picked up a much faster rhythm now, driving into Cas so that his balls slapped against him whenever his cock was all the way in, filling the room with the sound of skin slapping against skin.

“You like that, huh?” Dean whispered filthily at Cas’ broken little sounds and the twitching he felt against his stomach.

“Yes, oh yes!” Cas shouted as hot liquid hit his stomach where Dean had humped over the cock between them.

“Fuck,” Dean bit out when Cas’ channel tightened around him in orgasm and he felt explosive pleasure washing all over his body as he came too.

“Dean,” Cas moaned out again and again while Dean rode his orgasm all out into him.

“Yeah,” he answered when he finally stilled and grabbed the side of Cas’ face with a sweaty, shaking hand when he kissed him.

“Oh,” Cas made a pleased sound when Dean’s mouth found his again and they kissed for a long while until their heartbeats slowed down.

 

When Dean needed to come up for air for a second, he saw Cas look up at him with a look of pure adoration in his entire expression, and with surprise, Dean realized that his own face couldn’t look much different because he felt it almost frozen into a soft smile that crinkled his eyes.

“You’re pretty awesome, Cas.”

He more felt than heard a dark chuckle rise in Cas’ chest. “You’re not so bad yourself, Dean. I’m so glad we finally did this. I know it’s not been that long since I met you, but it feels like I’ve been wanting to be close to you like this for ages.”

“It feels like I’ve known you for years, even though I technically know almost nothing about you,” Dean agreed, kissing Cas’ nose, before he went on: “Isn’t that strange?”

“No?” Cas angled his head sideways on the pillow, not finding a believable tone with his question. 

“Wanna try that again?” Dean chuckled.

“Does this?” Cas deliberately clenched around the cock that was still inside him, so that Dean felt life in it again. “Does this feel strange?” Cas said invitingly, working his channel like a pro.

“It feels fucking amazing,” Dean gave back and felt himself starting to rise again. “Wanna go again before we go to sleep?”

“Understatement,” Cas grinned predatorily as he got up, his hands moving all over Dean’s body. 

“What are you doing?” Dean answered, feeling himself twist inside of Cas, hardening quickly.

“I’m getting into my favorite position.”

“On your knees?” Dean asked as he saw Cas twist in his lap and get down on, while pressing his ass out for him. “Isn’t that a little animalistic?”

“Yes,” Cas purred, working his hips on him so that his cheeks jiggled around Dean’s cock. “Now fuck me.”

Dean chuckled again, palming Cas’ presented ass while he slowly began to pick up a rhythm again.

“That’s it,” Cas moaned and Dean saw how he bit his lips as he rocked back onto the cock inside him. “I love it like this.”

“I can feel that,” Dean said, joyous and more than a little wondrous as Cas captured his hand and curled it around his cock. “Please, Dean. Ride me hard.”

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Dean bit out as he slammed himself into Cas’ more than willing body over and over. Cas moaned even prettier than last time, biting his lips over and over and coming with a shout when Dean expertly twisted his wrist on his cock.

“Nghh, ahhhh!” Dean shouted out as Cas took his next orgasm, shaking and panting with release as Dean pumped his come into him once more.

“I like animalistic,” Dean panted into his ear as he finally collapsed. “You’re the best.”

“You too. I have never been so satisfied as with you, Dean,” Cas let him know as he rolled himself together now, Dean’s cock still tugged away inside him. “Do you think we could do it again in the morning?” he adjusted, so that his heat fully encased Dean and they could sleep restfully at the same time.

“Hell yeah, first thing. But when are you gonna wake up, city boy? Don’t want you all passive and sleepy.”

“I’ll be awake. I don’t have a ghost keeping me up all night, or rather not letting me rest even when I’m sleeping, in case you forgot that.”

“So you’re not a lazy ass, after all?” he chuckled and kissed Cas’ shoulder to tell him that he was just teasing.

“My ass is far from lazy as you’ve received proof of two times tonight,” Cas sassed and Dean felt one of his heartstrings tingle warmly at it.

“You’re right. Your ass is a fucking star, alright,” he kissed Cas’ shoulder again before they settled for the night, tightly locked together.


	7. Chapter 7

In the morning, Dean walked down the hall to breakfast, whistling and happy recollecting their early morning session, after which Cas had shaken very badly again, but not because of exhaustion but because their sex had just been too great. 

“Morning,” he said, stretching and reaching for the coffee pot. 

“Morning, sunshine,” his mom smiled, obviously having stayed over. “Did you sleep well?”

“I don’t doubt that he slept well. They both must have been pretty wiped out after their concert of yowls last night,” Sam said and Dean blushed fiercely. The overdue question if they had heard them stood in the room, but Mary spoke up again before he could even ask.

“Don’t forget this morning, Sammy. The yowls are even more impressive when one is fully awake.”

Dean blushed even more and muttered: “I hate y’all.”

“No you don’t,” they said in unison as Bobby lumbered in, sleepy-eyed and grumpy. 

“What’d I miss?” he said with a nod at Mary who handed him a cup, already filled with coffee.

“Turns out Dean and Cas transform into howler monkeys at night,” Mary said cheekily and Dean felt as if his face would never be anything less than crimson again. 

“Maybe we should think about moving those two into the cottage, don’t you think? Or Bobby will take the cottage and they’ll build up the shearer’s quarters for them.”

Sam shook his head. “I only got the main house working so far. The cottage is a complete dump right now, and the shearer’s quarters too. We need to fix that up some more. That could take a while.”

“Woah, there guys. How about you stop planning to ship me out already. It’s not uh…”

He had meant to say: “It’s not going that far,” but at the mere thought of it not going that far, he felt an ice cold hand inside his chest.

Everyone looked at him and his pained expression, so he shrugged: “How about we think about me building my own house here once I’m actually a part owner.”

“Is that something you’re planning?” Mary asked her boys. 

“Yeah, we were in town these past couple a‘ days and put it all on the way,” Sam said.

“Great,” Mary practically squealed happily at her boys being able to work on their differences and even wanting to fulfill their individual dreams together. “And you’ll merge with Porter’s farm too, soon. Now if only your father wasn’t such a stubborn bastard, we’d have trouble with being a monopoly in the area.”

“What do you mean ‘merge with Porter’s farm‘?” Dean asked, panicky again. “That’s not even an option. It’s not-” but again he couldn’t go on, because he didn’t want to admit to himself that it maybe wasn’t that kinda thing. Well, for Cas it might not be.

“Sweetheart,” Mary said softly. “You’re a grown man and you can obviously make your own decisions. But if you do not get that dude to marry you, I’ll whack your ass until you beg him to take you.”

Everyone in the kitchen looked like they shared the same opinion as Mary, but Dean grew angry. 

“And what if he doesn’t even want me, huh? He may have had his prejudices at first, but it’s not as if it’s not all contains a grain of truth. I’m just a dumb farm boy and I guess he’s used to wining and dining, don’t you think? Maybe it’s not gonna work out, because I can’t give him all that he deserves. So would y’all just stop hammering me about this and let it go my way?”

Everyone looked a little taken aback at Dean’s outburst, but they didn’t continue talking about it, because Cas now came into the kitchen and bid them all a good morning.

“Morning,” Mary said and handed him another cup.

“Thank you, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas said courteously, but flinched at the taste of instant coffee in his cup.

“Please, call me Mary. I’m not that old, kid,” it was obvious that she had wanted to say ‘son’, but she didn’t want to be too suggestive in lieu of Dean’s words. 

“Alright then, Mary,” Cas grinned and sat down next to Dean, pressing his hand for a second before he nursed his coffee.

“You don’t like it,” Dean observed when Cas drank and his face looked disgusted again.

“Not really, no. But it’s hot and it gets me awake. Even though I’d really prefer an espresso.”

Dean didn’t look at him, but at everyone else in the kitchen, confirming his suspicion to them with just one look about the potential deeper meaning of Cas' words. 

“See,” his gaze told them. “Cas wants something different. Something fancier. Which I’m not. I may be hot and getting him awake, or rather satisfied, but he’ll not stick with me because he knows there are better guys out there.”

Dean looked down at his eggs and bacon and suddenly didn’t feel any hunger anymore. He pushed his plate away and instead stared at Cas, drinking him in for as long as he’d be lucky enough to have him. He effectively ignored the others’ stares which as he scraped his chair over the floor and nuzzled his head into the opening of Cas’ t-shirt. He didn’t want to waste any of the precious moments they’d have together, even if Cas was surely gonna leave him soon. 

Sam cleared his throat loudly now. “Well, anyway. Mom and I are gonna do research of Cas’ house now and you’ll finish with the sowing. And Dean, could I ask you to do a boundary run? You can train the quarter horse again and Cas can take your horse,” Sam suggested, taking it very well to see his brother transform into a snugly cat around their new neighbor. He must feel like it was a little strange to see him like this, but he also gave him the perfect excuse to be alone with Cas again.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Dean said, still all up close in Cas’ personal space. “Can you ride a horse, Cas?” 

“Yes.”

 

Cas saddled Dean’s horse all by himself and tried to impress everyone by climbing atop it with exceptional grace, hopping as he moved the animal out of the paddock. 

Everyone huffed in his back as Cas hopped on and everyone muttered: “Pony club,” while Dean threw his leg over the trainee horse and followed him. 

“See you later,” he shouted out when Bobby already turned his steps to the tractor again and Mary and Sam walked back to the house. Dean imagined that the research about their case wouldn’t take them too long, because the farm might be in tatters, but one of the first things Sam had done around the place was to install wifi and that would speed up their process considerably.

 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Cas said half an hour later when they had reached the boundary paddocks. 

“How’s your butt?” Dean asked, trying to distract Cas from what was actually going on in his head.

“Fine,” Cas beamed back, but then he flinched because despite his enthusiasm, he was definitely saddle sore.

“You’re an open book, baby. Let’s take 5, ok?”

“But we’re not finished yet, are we?” 

“We can take a break. The fence will still be there when we get back up.”

Dean walked a bit when they had tied the mare and his own horse to the fence and Cas caught up to him.

“You haven’t cleared this paddock yet,” Cas remarked when he stumbled over a rock that he hadn’t noticed.

“No, Sam wants to go into cattle farming eventually, and the animals need shade,” he pointed at a tree to the right where he wanted to see if there was damage to Cas‘ ankle.

Cas walked over and held a hand to the bark, looking up at the tree with reverent eyes.

“This must be standing here for over a hundred years or so, look at how big it is.”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered, but when he came up, he turned Cas around and pressed his back into the tree. “C’mere,” he panted and kissed Cas fiercely.

“What are you doing?” Cas said amused before he reciprocated the kiss. 

“Just making sure you’re not going anywhere,” he answered once he needed to breathe, only to urge against Cas immediately again, letting him feel his desperate passion as they moved their lips together, tonguefucking obscenely while Dean’s hands were all over him.

“You got me trapped,” Cas said as he keened against him, but Dean felt reminded of how he had found him in his cellar and pulled off immediately.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” he couldn’t go on, because Cas ripped him back immediately, making Dean brace himself against the bark now.

“I didn’t say that I don’t like it,” he moaned and rubbed himself on him. “Make us come again, just like in the shower, ok? Otherwise I’ll come in my pants soon.”

Dean only groaned as they freed their cocks and less than a minute later, two loads of jizz glistened in the grass. Apparently, the riding had pent them both up quite a bit.

Cas never stopped kissing him throughout, but when they had tugged themselves back in, he mumbled: “I think our 5 minutes are up, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Dean said and felt his dreaded suspicion about the duration of them confirmed again at Cas’ words. “Let’s finish this.”

 

“So, turns out your ghost is Abigail Porter, and as Bobby said, the daughter of the former owner. She was schizophrenic and her father often kept her locked up for her own good. She was on heavy medication, so it must have seemed to her as if she was tied up because she couldn‘t move her body. She was killed in a tragic accident when she got out of the house and ran after her father, who was out shooting wild pigs.”

“How did you find all that out?”

“Oh, I have some skills,” Mary blew figurative dust from her fingernails and then she smiled, “and I talked to Abner on the phone. He told me all about it, and how he sold the farm when he saw Abi standing in every corner. He thought he was nuts seeing her and it would go away when he moved. A real pity, too. If he had said something, we could have put her to rest sooner, before she turned violent.”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered. “Did he say where she was planted?”

Cas looked at him in confusion and so was Sammy as Mary answered: “She wasn’t. He had her cremated.”

“Great,” Den groaned exhaustedly and let himself fall into a wobbly chair next to the office desk. “And does he have any idea to what she may be tied then?”

“Nope,” Mary said with a grim expression.

“Great. That’s gonna be like a needle in a stack a needles. How on earth are we gonna find whatever it is in over four thousand acres?” Cas’ farm was a little smaller than Sam’s but still substantial enough too get a person frustrated when you wanted to find a specific object.

“We should start with the house,” Mary said. “And burn everything that even remotely looks like it could have belonged to her. And if that doesn‘t make her go, then we‘ll have to search the grounds.”

“Great,” Dean said again. “As if we don’t have enough to do as it is.”

“You don’t need to do this,” Cas said a little irritably, because Dean sounded so tired and unwanting. “I can manage that, now that I know what I ought to look out for.”

“No, Cas. You’re not doing this. In fact you’re not even going home alone until we find this thing. You’re staying here and that’s final,” Dean stemmed his hands into his hips and crowded in on Cas, taking this dominant stance because he didn’t want Cas to get really hurt and or let him out of his arms for as long as he could hold him, for that matter.

“How long will this take then? I mean are the farm hands safe? The animals?” 

“We don’t know for sure,” Mary admitted. “It seems as if her spirit is all over the place which doesn’t really bode well at all.”

“How do you figure that?” Sam asked.

“Because of what you told me. Cas only woke up once you weren’t on the property anymore. That’s her doing.”

“See, you really shouldn’t go back there. She’s got her feelers out for you,” Dean told him.

“Alright,” Cas muttered, still a little angry. “But I am gonna help you with this. It’ll be much quicker this way. And I need to organize trucks to sell the cattle that is all ready for auction and find adjusting for the others.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary, they’re gonna be fine.”

“You surprise me, Dean,” Cas said with a vicious tone. “Because I seem to recall you being all protective of animals before this.”

“Yes, glad you remember that.” Dean gave back, equally vicious. “And now you look me in the eye and tell me if I wouldn’t help you get the cattle out myself if I had any doubt that she would attack them.”

Cas looked at him for half a minute, still angry. But then he folded and said: “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Dean said but punched him in the shoulder playfully nonetheless. “Can’t hurt to be careful though, I give you that.”

“Boys,” Mary said exasperatedly. “You’re like a roller coaster, you know that? One second you’re angry and then you’re already adorable again.”

“Not true,” Dean pouted. 

“Yes, true,” Mary gave back. “Good, now that that’s settled, I think I’ll go home for a bit now. Your father must be wondering where I am. Although he could have called here, I suppose.”

Dean agreed silently because it had to be obvious where Mary had been overnight.

“I’ll be back first thing tomorrow and then we’ll go over to sweep the house. Bobby can look after everything here while we do that.”

“Bye, mom.”

“See you tomorrow.”

They hugged her goodbye as Sam drove her off in his truck, now that she wouldn’t be driving the Impala back home.


	8. Chapter 8

“So, what are we gonna do now?” Cas asked, sex evident on his mind.

“I gotta go and train that quarter horse I rode today. The owner expects it back in two weeks and I still have a lot of work to do. Besides, your butt couldn’t handle more action, you’re sore.”

“Not in the place where it counts,” Cas wanted to convince Dean, but he flinched when he shifted his legs. 

“Take some rest. If you want, you can clean a bit. The house or the horse boxes. Or you could just watch me work with the horse. It’s all fine. You don’t really have to pull your weight around here, you’re a guest.”

“No, Dean. I’m not a guest. I’m eating your food, sleeping in your bed. Hovering your time whenever I can. I should give something back for it.”

“You’re already giving so much,” Dean muttered, embarrassed at what he said, and hoping for Cas to say something equally cheesy back.

Cas only laughed though. “I guess mutual pleasure hardly counts as giving much, Dean.”

Dean felt punched in the gut as he still said in a muttering tone: “Yeah, guess not,” and walked out to the horses.

 

What had he been thinking? Obviously Cas only wanted him for a short while. It was obvious in everything he said. 

Dean had to concentrate on the horse now, he couldn’t afford to think about how pathetic he felt for being all out there emotionally, when it most likely would do him no good in the end. 

Sammy dropped by for some minutes in the afternoon, handing him a glass of water as he kept up the training, alternately leading the horse, or riding on it.

“Looking good. How are you gonna go about getting it used to cattle?” 

“I thought I’d ask Frank when I could try and drive some over there for a few days, maybe even get her into open campdraft, too.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Sam agreed, knowing that campdraft was an Australian equestrian sport which needed absolute control over a horse. Bobby, who had traveled a lot to close business deals with John’s partners had introduced Dean to it and together they found out that it really helped with the training if they let the horse chase a heifer around in eights. Heifers were the best for this kind of training because they were the fastest and most unpredictable ones. After Dean had trained his own horse with campdrafting techniques, John had been flabbergasted when Dean had got a stray back to the big drive without any problems at all. The horse was used to sharp turns and maneuverable because of his training. He had thought of renaming his horse Wendy the bendy, but figured that Mary Grace was still the best name for his mare in the end. He had later caught John as he tried to imitate his training, but not knowing how Dean had worked this magic had always driven him crazy. Of course that was before long before he left, so Dean pulled himself together and focused on the present now, teasing his brother.

“And maybe when we’re over there this week, you and Jess can work on that unresolved tension between you, huh? Maybe you need to think with your downstairs brain a little more, ey?”

“Quit it, Dean. Just because you finally manned up and have someone you shouldn’t suppose that everyone needs to get hooked up.”

“I don’t-” Dean tried again and breathed furiously at the hurt that welled up again. “All I’m saying is… Don’t waste time, Sammy. You’ll never know how long you got in the end.”

“Cas still not letting you peek into his cards, huh?”

“Oh, I can see his hand, Sammy. I can see it all too clearly.”

“Maybe you can’t see it as clearly as I can, though.”

“You think there’s hope?”

“Hey, I told you he was gonna be fine, didn’t I? And I told you he was just distracted when you called him. And both times I was right.”

“Hope you’re right this time as well, Sammy.”

“Me too,” Sam said, smiling sympathetically as he tipped his hat at Dean. “I’m gonna try and fix the pump for real now, ok?”

“Yeah. And holler if you need me. We outta get the water working if we’re gonna get some cattle after the corn harvest.”

“Yeah, and get the cottage working. No offence Dean, but you’re really loud. And I’d prefer it if you and Cas had your own place. And maybe he’s just gonna stay for the time ‘til he can go back to his ranch, but even so… please, Dean. There is only so much that ear pax can do for a guy, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Dean admitted.

 

Dean concentrated on the horse for the next couple of hours and felt like he was doing good work with it. The animal was responsive and didn’t break out when he taught it the signals for the different paces again and it managed to fall into them easily, so all that was left to do before it could go back to it’s owner was to get it used to driving cattle.

When he looked up just as the sun was setting, he saw Cas watching him from outside the training round.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” Cas admitted, a little shy but mostly overwhelmed looking. “It’s very beautiful.”

“Yeah, she’s a beauty. She’ll do her work well.”

“No, I mean everything. You and the horse, working together. You look really at home.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve been doing this for a while, y’know?” he grinned, but Cas only frowned at him.

“I know,” he said incredulously.

Dean didn’t know what it was about, but he held out an olive branch anyway. Or rather, a brush.

“Wanna help brush her down?”

“Yes,” Cas climbed over the planks of wood around the training ground and rubbed the nose of the horse that nuzzled against him happily, the mare knowing that it was almost time to go into the stable now.

“Don’t spoil her. She’s a working horse, not a price cup winner,” Dean said, and wanted to give himself a serious kick because he felt like everything these days was a metaphor about him and Cas. He was definitely a working horse, not a coldblood that needed pampering and was overall very sensitive.

Cas only nodded, a little sharply perhaps as Dean led the animal back into his box.

“This is not like the stable you have at home, right?” Cas looked around at the rotten wood and the narrow boxes. 

“It’s not up to today’s standards yet, no. But you see this farm was abandoned for a while, otherwise Sammy wouldn’t have been able to pay such a bargain price for it. But we’re gonna fix it up real nice. You’ll see.”

Cas only nodded again, and without speaking, they brushed the mare down, gave her some oats and then made themselves on the way back to the main house.

“Oh and by the way, Sammy said we should fix up the cottage because we’re too loud for his highness to sleep comfortably. What do you say, Cas? Wanna move in with me?”

“What? Into the cottage?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you say that was gonna be a lot of work until it’s up and running again?”

“Yeah, sure. But it’s not as if we weren’t gonna fix it up anyway and this way we could be as loud as we wanted,” Dean said, his heart thumping in his chest so hard that he was sure Cas would hear it.

“Don’t give yourself the trouble, Dean. I’m sure we’ll find enough places where we can be loud if we’re having to stay quiet when it’s bedtime. And anyway, we’re gonna fix my house and then I can go back to it.”

“Oh, ok. Sure, whatever you want.”

“And of course you’ll come by to visit whenever you can,” Cas smiled and smoothed a hand over Dean’s back.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed and captured Cas’ fingers with his own. “Though I dunno if it’s gonna be as often as when you’re right here, y’know? It would mean two hours drive back and forth to get back here. And we could find a better use for those four hours, couldn’t we?”

Cas clawed at his shirt now and tipped his hat off, pulling Dean close, teasing his tongue over his bottom lip, purring: “I’m sure we could,” and then he kissed him.

Dean felt the inevitable butterflies again, but after today, there was more than a little desperation mixed into his answering kisses.

He moaned and once again pressed himself to Cas, who answered with a lusty moan at seeing the signs that he was wanted so much.

“Dean,” he breathed, up against the outer wall of the house. “We really shouldn’t do this here.”

“I know,” Dean answered, but didn’t show any signs of moving away, he only grinded his hips into Cas’ with more intensity. “I can’t help it though. You’re doing that to me.”

“Let’s take care of this in the shower, ok? Though I have to say dirt and sweat becomes you, I’d like it if I was the reason you were sweaty, and not a whole day of hard work.”

Dean nodded and pulled Cas through to the kitchen and up into the bathroom.

 

“Don’t stop,” Cas bit out ten minutes later, his legs around Dean’s hips as they grinded their erections over each other once more.

“As if I would,” Dean answered, picking up speed and finishing in another minute. Then he let Cas get down and worked him over with his hand, keeping eye contact and watching the other man lose it for him.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. Especially when you come,” he moaned and kneaded shower gel into Cas’ butt now. The other man hissed at the contact of Dean’s fingers who wisely nodded. “I told you, you were gonna be sore. After dinner I’ll give your ass a massage, ok?”

“With your cock?” Cas asked happily, but Dean shook his head.

“No, a real massage. To loosen the muscle. I can’t fuck you if you’re in pain.”

 

After dinner, Dean made good on his promise. He got out a half empty bottle of massage oil and ordered Cas to strip.

“Roll around,” he commanded when Cas looked up at him from his back, softly thumping over his half hard cock. But he turned when Dean told him to and he drizzled some of the oil on the round globes of the other man’s ass. Then he spread it with his fingers and started kneading the sore and kinked muscle.

“Fuck, should I get hard from this, or is it just a bonus?” Cas rumbled and doubtlessly felt the soreness leave his muscle under Dean’s ministrations.

“I’d be offended if you wouldn’t get hard, baby,” Dean answered and went over to the next cheek, treating it just like the first.

Cas’ moans got more and more hungry as Dean worked on, until both his firm cheeks didn’t have kinks in the muscle anymore and Dean’s fingers only softly played over the skin before he chuckled lowly and pulled them apart to see Cas’ asshole flutter and clench at seeing the light.

“Fucking shit,” Cas bit out as he felt Dean’s tongue licking a stripe down his hole before he darted in, moaning obscenely happy at feeling tight heat around him as he lapped into his hole.

“Dean, yeah,” Cas nearly shouted after some minutes, and Dean pulled out for a second.

“Shh, baby. You gotta be more quiet,” he plunged two fingers into Cas’ ass and scissored them inside for a bit. “Fuck that’s so hot, you biting a pillow because I make you feel just too good. Stroke yourself, I’m gonna bring you off now,” Dean told Cas and licked back into him with relish, closing his eyes as he grabbed Cas’ cheeks next to his face and kneaded them again, eating Cas expertly, until he felt his inner walls transmit an orgasm out onto his tongue.

“So good,” Dean moaned, rock hard at Cas shoving his ass in his face one more time before he pulled off.

“Dean,” Cas moaned brokenly. “Use me now, I’m too lax to bring you off.”

“It’s ok, baby. Just hold still,” Dean pressed a bit more of oil out into Cas’ crack and then rubbed his cock along in it.

Cas moaned happily and feeling Dean use him like that and propped himself up so Dean had a nice pocket to fuck into between his cheeks.

“Fuck, so good. Even when I’m not inside you. Hmm, fuck gonna…”

“Do it, Dean.”

Dean stroked himself off into Cas’ crack now, watching his semen move inside as Cas clenched his thorough rimmed hole.

“So hot, Dean. Ngh,” Cas couldn’t help himself from moaning when Dean grabbed his cheeks one last time and wriggled them a bit to see his come pop in and out before he cleaned it up with a tissue. He reverently turned Cas around, then cleaning his spent cock and fingers from his own jizz.

He grinned at Cas, then slowly felt the smile fade as he played the other man’s fingers, kissing every tip softly before he stroked Cas’ entire hand over his face, smelling and licking his wrist and pressing another kiss to it.

“Dean, if you keep that up, I’m gonna get horny again,” Cas smiled happily with eyes closed as Dean kissed his way up his entire arm next.

“No, it‘s not for getting you horny. I’m just kissing you goodnight,” he smiled when he worked his way up Cas’ jaw and finally found his mouth again. “You taste so good,” he licked over his lips before he obscenely lapped into the other’s mouth again.

“You’re so gentle,” Cas purred as his fingers found Dean’s hair. 

“I can be,” Dean smirked and opened his eyes to see Cas staring at him with a wondrous expression. “I can be anything you’d like. I can take you like animal, I can worship every inch of you when we’re together, I can be quick and hot for you. Just let me know what you’re up to and I’ll do my best to make you feel good.”

“You’re truly amazing,” Cas replied and Dean felt his fingers move down his neck, returning the favor of the massage now.

He sighed contently when Cas pulled him down and massaged his entire back before he was satisfied that Dean was sufficiently relaxed and sleepy from being pampered.

Dean was happy, but at the same time he couldn’t help but wonder if this was maybe nothing more but the afterglow of really great sex and how much he could really hold Cas to the things he said after they had come. He wished that Cas really thought that he was amazing, but he wasn’t sure if what they had also existed outside of the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is slightly NSFW art in this one, just as a heads up.

“Is that the lot then?” Dean asked when they had got every last toy or scrap of fabric that looked like it could belong to a little girl out of Cas’ house the next morning.

“Yep, all there,” Sam said as he squirted fire accelerant onto the pile of old crap.

“Then let’s hope this is it,” Dean said as he lit a matchbook and set the pile on fire. He really didn’t hope that they had gotten rid of the ghost though. He wished Cas to stay with him, even if it would take years to search the farm for something else that the ghost might be tied to. He just wanted more time.

 

“So, how long do we have to wait for her to turn up?” Cas asked when he and Dean had settled down in his own house for the night, another hard day's work over.

“If she doesn’t turn up tonight, then I guess you’re safe,” he told Cas, just when something moved in his peripheral vision. He turned around immediately and saw the ghost from before stand there. She looked just like when they had first seen her, ghostly pale and pretty non descriptive if you hadn’t known that she was dead. Without needing time to react, he shot a load of rock salt at her, not wanting her to do stuff to Cas again.

“Ok, that means it didn’t do the trick. Let’s get outta here.”

“You seem happy about the fact that she’s not gone,” Cas said and only then, Dean realized that he was smiling.

“Yeah, because it means you’ll stay with me for a while,” he thought and when Cas looked at him, he realized he’d said it out loud.

 

During the next week, they settled into a routine. Dean excused himself from continuing the search for the object, and went over to Devereaux’s farm to finish the training of the quarter horse. He put it up at the stable over there now, it was easier since he could work with cattle here and Jess sometimes joined him to oversee his training of the mare.

They had decided that she wasn’t gonna try and train her, but when Dean thought that the horse was ready for another rider, Jess was the first to try it.

“She’s handling well,” she said, nodding down at Dean when she let her trot.

“So you’ll admit that I’m a better trainer than you then?” Dean grinned, but Jess only frowned.

“Oh, just you wait, Winchester. The next quarter horse is mine and I’ll do a much better job on it, you’ll see.”

“Bet you a fiver you won’t,” Dean bit back.

“You’re on,” she smiled and dismounted.

When they had led the animal into the stable and brushed her down meticulously, she asked: “So no news from your father, then?”

“No. Radio silence,” Dean mumbled.

“How are things over there with you?” she asked and Dean smirked.

“Sammy’s fine, Jess. You should come over soon. And bring Charlie with you of course.”

“Yeah, guess I should see the place and in what kind of shack you’re really living.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Dean lied. “But the walls are paper thin apparently.”

“Do I even wanna know how you found that out?” she smirked as they latched the horse box.

“Probably not,” he grinned.

 

Dean went over to the neighboring farm every day and came home once it was dark, Sam was being crazy excited about seeing the first green sprouts on the fields and Cas had made the boundary run all by himself for the first time.

“Really?”

“No need to sound so surprised, Dean,” Cas smiled strainedly.

“Yeah, but when he came back and tried to open the gate, he totally fell off and landed on his bum,” Sam laughed and Dean joined in.

“Oh, I would have paid money to see that,” he grinned into Cas’ neck as he pulled him close. “Bet you looked adorable down in the dirt.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” Cas said, not really in a humorous mood.

 

“Do you need another massage today, baby?” Dean asked once they were in his bedroom again.

“No, I don’t,” Cas grumbled, still pissed about being laughed at as he undressed.

“Ah, c’mon. It’s not a big deal. People fall off their horses all the time,” Dean said as he walked over and helped Cas when he was too slow with getting naked for his own liking. “It’s just something you pick up over time, y’know? You’ll ride closer to the gate tomorrow and pull the latch open without any problems before you know it,” Dean said as the in turn pulled Cas’ zipper down without any problems.

“But I looked completely ridiculous,” Cas pouted and then he hissed when Dean started stroking him.

“I bet you did,” Dean chuckled, his teeth scraping over Cas’ shoulders as he worked him. “But you know where you’re not looking ridiculous?”

“Where?”

“In my bed,” Dean rasped out and pressed Cas down into the mattress. “You look perfectly at home here,” he said once they were in the middle of action once more. “The rest will come in time.”

Cas nodded and came hard just a few thrusts later, grinning: “I guess I’m just in time then.”

Dean had smiled back even though he had meant much more with his words just now.

 

A few weeks later, they still hadn’t found anything that locked the spirit in this world, and if Dean was honest, he admitted that he hadn’t even really looked. Sam, Mary, Bobby and Cas searched whenever they had the time, but Dean always came up with more excuses.

His mom was the only one who knew that Dean’s eyes for this sort of thing were better than any trackers she’d ever met, but she didn’t comment on his lack of enthusiasm for the hunt. Dean still suspected he’d never hold Cas in his arms again once they got rid of the ghost and he really didn’t want that.

The mare that had made the move to Sam’s farm with him had been brought back to her owner, who was so pleased with Dean’s work that he had immediately contracted Dean and Jess for two new horses and due to form, they rivaled the other in the training of the new colts. The horses both stood at Devereaux farm because it had been easier to bring them over in one trailer and Dean really didn’t want to rip his new trainee horse out of his new environment, so he went over there every day again.

The corn back at home grew nicely and they’d already found a company who would buy it. The only problem that remained was harvesting it and getting it sorted and delivered. They’d need organic trucks and harvesting machines again and John’s cronies still didn’t want Sam’s business, even though Mary said that she tried to convince him to lift the ban on them whenever she brought the topic up in conversation.

It didn’t help though and whenever Mary came over these days, she looked bitter and like she was still thinking about the last fight with her husband. She helped out at Cedar Ridge even more now, working to get the pumps and pipes in the paddocks replaced and even going so far as to place an order for rock phosphate in her own name.

“Thanks, mom,” Sam said when they had finished bringing the phosphate onto the paddocks. “I know I would have had to wait months until the one person who delivers organic fertilizer to me would have got it.”

“I think this is ridiculous, your father can’t do this to you,” Cas said to which Dean just snorted. “What is it, Dean? Did I miss something again?” Cas rolled his eyes aggregately. Dean realized by now that Cas was doing that whenever he let it show that he knew more about what was required to living on a farm and around these parts. He had tried as he might to avoid irritating Cas like this, but here again was a thing that Cas didn't really understand and it looked comical to them all.

“No, Cas. It’s just… You see that he’s _doing_ it, right?”

“But he can’t tell people not to sell to Sam. That’s unethical and people shouldn’t let him to this.”

“Take a look around you, man. If you oppose John Winchester in these parts, this is what you’re getting. He _can_ do it and he _is_ doing it. They’re all too much of darned cowards to stand up to him because he runs the biggest ranch in the area and people need his business more than ours.”

“But even organic suppliers don’t oppose him when he’s actually got nothing to do with them.”

“Please, Cas. Everyone knows everyone around here. Jim, the tractor guy? He’s the brother of the part-owner of Bill’s truck stop. And guess who’s a part-owner too? That’s right, dear old dad. He’d sell the place out from under him if Bill’s brother would go against his will.”

“I don’t like your tone, Dean. You know I don’t know any of that,” Cas rumbled, seeing now that Dean was right in what he had said.

“That’s why I’m explaining it to you,” Dean smiled and nudged Cas in the shoulder playfully. “So that you know how it works around here.”

Cas nodded stiffly, and Dean wondered what he had done now to offend the other man and just knew they'd have to talk about this later.

 

“It’s just that I think I’ll never fit in,” Cas admitted at night once they had finished and Dean had been so incredibly gentle that Cas felt coaxed to admit what he had been thinking in the afternoon.

“You fit in right here,” Dean mumbled and trailed the back of his hand over Cas’ sweaty body. He smoothed his fingertips over the other man’s abs in soothing circles while he just stared at his radiant after sex beauty. “But you’re right, people will see you as the new guy for some time still.”

“For how long?”

“Dunno,” Dean yawned and switched the lights off. “Couple a’ years, I’d say.”

“Years?” Cas said in shock and stilled Dean’s hands which still worked his stomach in lazy motions.

“Yeah,” Dean reached around and captured Cas’ neck in a tender grasp instead. “But don’t worry, they’ll stop after a while. And you’re here, learning everything. Don’t worry, one day you’ll spot a city boy and laugh about his cluelessness too,” he chuckled, kissing the other man’s collarbone before he settled down to watch him in the moonlight shining through the window.

“And what if I don’t want to make new arrivals feel bad about themselves at all? Have you ever thought of that, Dean?”

Dean propped his head up, stroking softly over Cas’ smooth chest and smiling: “What are you on about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Cas sighed and turned his back to him. “Let’s just go to sleep, ok?”

“Ok,” Dean mouthed and followed him on his side of the bed, throwing his arms around him, physically incapable of stopping to touch him.

“You never give me a rest, do you?” Dean finally heard a faint smile in Cas’ voice as he relaxed in his arms once more.

“And here I thought you loved sleeping in my arms,” he chuckled and tugged him closer. The only answer he got was soft breathing, because Cas had already gone to sleep.

 

Their routine worked well, and Dean thought he could finally relax now and not expect the blow that he always feared would come.

Cas learned the ways around the farm very fast, and within weeks of his coming to live with them, the men from Cedar Ridge joined the residents of Devereaux’s farm for a big cattle drive.

“Are you really sure you’re up to this already?” Dean asked when they got their horses ready to ride over there. When Cas only smiled and shook his head at Dean’s insistence, he came over and tipped Cas’ hat, whispering into his ear. “We’re gonna be in the saddle for days, baby. I know you got good at this stuff, but it’s gonna be rough. No one would think less of you if you’d take Ellen’s place in the truck, y’know? Ellen would love to drive the cattle instead, I know that.”

“I think I can manage,” Cas tried to shove Dean off him with a small eye roll, but then saw real concern in Dean‘s eyes. “Don’t worry, Dean. I’ll be fine.”

Sometimes when Dean had gone over to Devereaux’s, he had taken Cas with him and especially Charlie had made it her business to teach Cas the ropes about working with cattle. Over lunch, Cas had told them about how he roped his first steer, or how Charlie let him round up 50 head all by himself and Dean couldn’t have been prouder of him. But this was a big drove, 400 head had to be moved over 200 miles.

They were gonna be on the road for at least a week, constantly riding and watching the cattle at all times.

“I trust you to stay in charge of the farm hands and the sheep,” Frank told Jo, who would be leading the property in their absence and was pretty keen to prove herself.

“I’m not sure about this, Frank. Jo’s not ready for this kinda responsibility,” Ellen objected.

“Ellen, c’mon. Jo has been out there all her life, she knows her stuff,” Dean took Jo’s position and was surprised at the sour look he got from Cas at that.

He looked at him, shaking his head with sass oozing out of his movements, but now was not the time to discuss what he had done now.

They rode out: Sam, Jess, Bobby and Frank bringing up the sides while Dean and Cas brought up the rear, with Ellen following them in the truck.

 

“We’re not really doing anything back here, do we?” Cas announced when they were about 20 miles from their starting point and they began to find a good place to round up for the night.

“Fancy that,” Dean said, trying to sound as if he hadn’t noticed that.

“You’re not fooling me, Dean. You assigned me the easiest task, didn’t you?”

“I kinda did, yeah,” Dean announced when Charlie once again rode off after a straggler and guided it back to the mob.

“Can I ask why?”

“Because I don’t think you’re ready for this. How much does your butt hurt? And don’t try to pretend it doesn’t.”

“It hurts,” Cas admitted, shifting in the saddle again like he had during the most part of the afternoon. “And I think everything else is pretty sore too. But that doesn’t give you the right to decide that I have to stay back here,” he bit out when his butt hit the saddle uncomfortably again.

“Sorry,” Dean said emphatically and more than a little pissed. “Fine, if you’re so confident of what you can do, you’ll guide the rear by yourself. I’m sure they need help in the front. Yah!” he yelled and pressed his thighs into Mary Grace’s sides to speed past the entire mob and drive from the sides.

 

“So what happened between you and Cas back there? I only saw you gallop and your shoulders were scrunched like whenever you’re pissed,” Charlie asked while Ellen prepared dinner for them.

“Ah, don’t ask,” Dean answered and stared brooding into the camp fire while Charlie laid her head tiredly on his arm. The day had been long and everyone was exhausted, apparently except for Jess and Sam who talked to each other with an enviable amount of élan. Frank and Bobby were half sitting, half napping until dinner was ready and Cas sat farthest away, staring and brooding just like Dean, who felt his tongue loosen at the sight now.

“I mean, I thought it was a good idea that he’d take an easier job, y’know? And he bites my head off about it.”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed haltingly but it was evident that there was more coming once she’d thought about it. “You see,” she picked up again after a few minutes. “The way I see it, Cas is like Jo when it comes to this. She knows what she can do, but always strives for more. And then you’re the bad one if you don’t let them prove themselves, y’know? I think you should let Cas do more on his own, at least that's what I gathered from the way he was when you stood up for Jo and from what you told me happened this afternoon.”

“Yeah, sure," Dean conceded, seeing the point of Charlie's words. "It’s just, when he goes off by himself, he I dunno, falls off his horse, leaves the gate open or something. Nothing too bad, not on our farm since we don’t have animals yet, but imagine if he felt the gates open at your place… And he always gets tetchy when he screws up. I keep telling him it’s not a big deal, but he feels ridiculed when we’re having a laugh about it. It’s not as if he can’t join in, he just doesn’t, y’know?”

“Sounds like he’s a perfectionist,” Charlie yawned as Ellen finally started to hand out plates and Dean helped everyone to stew afterwards.

“Yeah, big time,” Dean nodded when everyone was chewing and even Sam and Jess were too busy eating to make doe eyes at each other.

“Then let him. Let him prove himself and if he can’t, you’ll pick up the pieces.”

“I don’t think I can, Char. What if he screws up and it costs us a lot of money to fix it? I mean, I don’t always know everything about organics and check back with Sammy constantly. What if Cas does something we can’t fix?”

“I see your point,” Charlie swallowed around a mouthful. “But you gotta let him off the leash just a little bit. I think he’d feel better then. How about I take the back tomorrow and Cas brings up my side? You can stay a little further back and if he really can’t get a stray back to the herd, you jump in. And don‘t give him the silent treatment tonight either. Do whatever you do to make him weak in the knees. And can we stop talking about this now before I get uncomfortable?” she said with a strained smile, shaking herself.

“Sure thing, Char,” Dean nudged her.

 

After dinner everyone was too tired to do much more than put up the tents and go to sleep.

Dean took a last round around the cattle, leaving Cas time to pretend to be asleep, should he not want to talk to him.

Five minutes were enough he thought as he turned his steps to his tent and slipped in.

“Wow, is it just me or did I just stumble right into heaven?” he asked Cas’ exposed backside and he saw the other man flinch a little, trying to cover himself up, but Dean had already seen most of the damage. Poor Cas was covered in angry red blisters.

Dean bit his tongue and just started undressing without saying something.

When he wriggled into his sleeping bag, Cas looked at him, most likely surprised that he didn’t get a lecture now as he quietly asked: “Do you have ointment or something on you?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic about it. He got back up and fumbled around in his saddle bag until he found a small bottle of tincture, too lazy to even get out of his sleeping bag again.

“I fear it’s not enough for the whole journey, but I just won’t apply it too liberally, then it should last long enough. Turn around.”

While he carefully treated Cas, he tried not to think or say anything about today, and Cas didn’t either, he just laid into Dean’s touch, softly hissing whenever he found a new sore spot.

“I can’t understand why we can’t just get them there in a truck,” Cas grumbled.

“Because Frank’s no John Winchester and that’s a good thing. He can’t just spit money either. There,” he announced when he was finished and regretfully let go of Cas. “You’re all perfect now. Of course you’ll have to keep your butt exposed until it’s all dry. Not that I’m complaining about that or nothing,” he smirked. “But I guess you’re not up for some fun tonight, huh?” he took in the sight of sore, red skin when Cas turned to face him.

“I could give you a ‘thank you’ blow job?” he offered, but Dean shook his head.

“Neh, it’s only half the fun if you can’t enjoy it. And besides, little Cas would probably swell too much for comfort then,” he cupped Cas’ unclothed dick and the other man hissed from the simple touch alone. “See,” Dean proved his point and climbed back into his sleeping bag while Cas laid down on top of his own belly down, his ass still exposed and glistening.

“So, I was thinking,” Dean said cupping Cas’ asscheeks where they weren’t stinging as he talked on, because it looked just too perfect to not touch it. “Tomorrow, you’ll take the side and Charlie and me will bring up the back.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged and wanted to turn around to face the tarpaulin and go to sleep but within a second, his arms were filled with Cas who practically attacked him with his tongue.

“Woah, easy there tiger,” he grinned and kissed him back, his fingers naturally gliding down and cupping Cas’ ass until he heard a soft hissing sound again.

“Sorry,” he grumbled.

“It’s ok. Thank you for this, Dean.”

“Don’t thank me,” Dean felt himself blushing. “It’s gonna be hard work, so let’s get some shut eye, ok?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed while at the same time seeking out Dean’s mouth, completely against his words.

“Cas, damn it, we need sleep,” Dean rasped out half an hour of making out later. Cas’ grinned down at him happy and excited about tomorrow as he finally pulled off and could now slip into his pants and sleeping bag as well.

Dean watched as Cas went to sleep with a grin of anticipation of tomorrow, while he on the other hand had a sinking feeling in his gut.

 

“Here they go again, Cas. That one’s yours,” Dean said. They were on the road for some hours already and Cas looked incredibly tired as he once again rode off after a stray and tried to get it back to the herd. He had managed with the first few, but it was evident in the way he guided his horse that he was tired and that his reflexes weren’t up to their best anymore.

“He’s picking up on you,” Dean shouted out. “Bring him round that bush, that’s it.”

“He’s doing pretty good, isn’t he?” Charlie announced from the back.

“He’s exhausted,” Dean shook his head, just when Cas got the young steer back and talked to him when he was close enough again. “Need a breather? I can take over for a while, y’know?”

“No, I’m good,” Cas tried to beam, but he flinched at being even more saddle sore and his eyes looked very tired.

Dean had an itching in him to tell Cas to get behind, and just take his position over, but he checked himself. Cas wanted to prove himself and this ordeal he put himself through was his way of doing it. So, against his better judgment, Dean conceded and let Cas work on.

The next stray was a young heifer which Dean could have brought back with his eyes closed, but Cas took a wrong turn around the animal and it darted off.

“Sorry,” Cas shouted and galloped after it.

Dean kept a look out with anxiety pooling in his stomach and when Cas didn’t return he rode off after him while Charlie got the others to stop and wait up because it was high time for lunch anyway.

“Cas?” Dean shouted out until he found him, trying to get the heifer out of some bushes. “Hey, we’re making lunch now, you can go. I’ll bring it back up.”

“I got this, Dean!” Cas shouted angrily and rode up the animal which leapt off again before Cas could rope it.

“Hey! Watch out for that slope!” Dean shouted when Cas drove the animal too close to a ravine. Cas listened and stilled his horse but the damage was done. The young cow tumbled down, mooing loudly and disappeared from sight.

“Goddamn shit!” Dean cursed and tied Mary Grace to the nearest tree. “Cas, go back to the herd and tell Frank we have an animal down. Don’t just stand there and look shocked. Go!”

Cas nodded and spurred his horse, while Dean climbed down the slope to the unfortunate animal.

“Hey, you silly thing. Why did you have to go here, huh?” he checked the panting animal, whose eyes rolled in their sockets, for damage. Once he was sure of all the injuries from the fall, he pressed the back of his fist to his mouth. “Don’t worry, little girl,” he tried to soothe despite his own violent shaking. “Frank will be here soon, and then it’s gonna be better real quick, I promise.”

He stroked the animals‘ neck to calm it, until he heard two horses coming back. Frank and Cas climbed down towards him, Frank having got the rifle out of the back of the truck.

“What are we looking at, Dean?”

“Broken back and pale lips,” Dean gave the verdict.

“Pale lips means internal bleeding, right?” Cas looked at the others with panic in his eyes and then down at the suffering animal. “Can we load it into the back of the truck and get it to a veterinarian?”

“Too late for the vet,” Dean said with bile in voice and held out his hand for Frank’s rifle.

“No, no. Maybe we could help it. Do something.”

“Yes, we can do something,” Dean said angrily. “We can put it out of it’s misery.”

“You sure you wanna do this, son? I can do it too,” Frank said.

“No, he was my responsibility. This is my fault.”

“He?” Cas said, completely downcast now.

“Yes,” Dean stared at him, leaving no room for doubt which ‘he’ was meant. “And you will watch it. You will see what happens when you try to prove yourself and can‘t.”

Dean aimed between the ear and the eye of the heifer and shot. Cas flinched violently and tears rolled down his face as the animal stopped breathing and Dean stalked off, just saying to Frank: “I’ll pay for the damage,” without being able to look at Cas.

He rode back to the others, and tried to eat a sandwich, but he couldn’t get anything down. Instead he walked off, finding a river bank about half a mile from the camp and ferociously washed his hands several times in the creek water.

He sat with his back to a tree when he heard steps coming up behind him and Cas suddenly showed up, more tracks of tears in his dirty face.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I know you are,” Dean said with bone deep exhaustion in his voice. “But it was my fault. You weren’t ready. And you were tired and I let you do this, even though I knew better,” he felt the need to wash overcome him once more and walked down to the creek again.

“I hate doing this,” Dean said passionately while he let the water flow over his hands. “I hate having to put them down.”

“How often have you done it?” Cas asked very softly.

“Too often to count. That‘s why we don‘t give them names or get attached, Cas. Because something like this can always happen and then you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas repeated and threw his arms around Dean from the back.

“Yeah, you’ve said that,” Dean answered, not as cold as he’d like to sound, and pressed himself into Cas’ arms for a minute before he got up, drying his hands on his jeans. “Let’s go back to the others.”


	10. Chapter 10

The rest of the drive went by smoother. Cas let Dean take over once he felt that he grew too tired and drove the truck for one entire day when the thought alone of getting back up onto the horse made him wince in pain. 

“You learned that everybody has their limits,” Dean announced when they were one day out from their destination and ready for sleep. “And that accidents happen if you push them.”

“Is that pride I hear in your voice?” Cas asked, his eyes ripped open.

“Ah, just get over it,” Dean grumbled at being caught out.

“Ok, then I will,” Cas smiled and straddled Dean’s hips. 

“Careful there. You haven’t been in the saddle all day. I’m sure you’re already rusty at riding.”

Cas actually chuckled at that.

“What, are you finally getting my humor? Why I never…” Dean smirked.

“Shut up, Winchester,” Cas smiled and pressed their lips together. 

Dean responded with an audible gasp and let his hands rake through Cas’ hair. 

“And by the way you’re moaning at me, I gather that you don’t mind how dirty we both are right now?” Dean teased again, his hands opening Cas’ trousers.

“Hey, we’ve all had camping showers every morning. We’re clean enough,” Cas mumbled back and unbuttoned Dean’s shirt.

“That’s my baby,” Dean answered with a wide grin, which got replaced by a lusty moan a second later when Cas pulled him up, stroking all over him.

“Will you idjits give it a rest over there?” Bobby shouted from two tents further down and someone, undoubtedly Frank, applauded Bobby’s words. 

“Oops,” Cas smirked and bit his lip which made Dean crazy with want.

“We could go on, y’know? Be real quiet about it, too.”

“Let’s wait,” Cas answered and pulled off. “I wanna be as loud as can be.”

“Does that mean we’re finally moving into the cottage now?” Dean asked hopefully, wanting to move in with Cas for a couple of months at this point already, but always putting it off because Cas said it was too much work and Dean conceding because nothing was as hot as Cas stifling his moans when they were together and Dean watched him silently coming apart for him.

“I’d say yes,” Cas grinned, pulling Dean close.

“Say that again for me, baby.”

“Yes.”

Dean felt like he’d never stop smiling now. “Awesome.”

 

The next day, the drive ended and before they knew it, they leaned on the planks to a yard, seeing the entire herd inside.

“This is a good feeling,” Cas beamed.

“Hell yeah,” Dean agreed.

“Let’s get inside. First shower’s mine,” Sam yelled and walked off to the homestead of Frank‘s business partner whom they had delivered the cattle to.

“Not if I’m there first,” Charlie ran off after him and even though Sam was tall, Charlie was lighter and ran faster.

“Crazy kids, huh?” Jess shook her head and rolled her eyes at Dean as the younger ones raced themselves to the homestead.

“Whoever invented younger siblings?” Dean rolled his eyes back at her, grinning and with his arm around Cas’ waist. “But at least they aren’t laughing about my bow legs right now, y’all don’t look much better after a week in the saddle,” he chuckled because that was a running gag that all his closest friends constantly brought up again.

Cas laughed happily with the rest of them and Dean felt as if something that had not quite fit finally clicked into place inside him. 

 

“Dean, this is a dump,” Cas said, very shocked at the inside of the cottage. The walls were blistered in the kitchen, obviously there had been a minor stove fire here, who knows how long ago. The vinyl flooring was loose and cracked everywhere and the waterproofing of the roof hung down low in several places. The pipes were all broken as they found out when they tried to turn on the water and at night and when they laid down, the rusty old metal frame bed gave almighty creaks.

“I’m not sure this was a good idea,” Cas shook his head.

“Then I’ll just have to convince you,” Dean grinned and groped Cas enthusiastically. 

Cas moaned loudly as he felt himself caressed, and Dean grabbed his thighs to part them and slide in between them. “Aha, got you now, haven’t I?”

“Yes, Dean. You got me,” Cas keened against him, being louder than ever when Dean prepared him with delicate pushes. 

 

“Dean!” Cas shouted out later, when he bottomed out inside him and finally gave Cas what he couldn’t do during the cattle drive.

“So tell me again how this wasn’t a good idea?” Dean coaxed, riding up into Cas with force, feeling the stretch around himself.

“It was a good idea,” Cas moaned in approval, but he would say anything right now.

Dean had to admit, the creaking of the bed frame grew really obnoxiously loud as they continued to fuck, but it only spurred him on further as Cas shook and moaned underneath him.

“Yes there,” he bit out and his hand sneaked down to bring himself off, his other hand holding on to the frame above his head.

“Fuck!” Dean roared when Cas came around him. A couple of thrusts and he was thrown into an orgasm that had all the sweetness of waiting for it for over a week and finally getting everything he wanted. Not just sex with Cas, but a whole new perspective. 

“We’ll fix it up for us. It will be great and maybe if you’re really lucky, you’ll get an espresso machine out of it,” Dean smirked once they were done and Cas looked up at him with a relieved sigh. “Hey, hey! That sigh sounded even more enthusiastic as when you came right now. Does that mean you like coffee more than sex with me?”

“No. ´But I want both, and the sex I just had. Not the coffee though,” Cas smiled and Dean felt himself held in a gentle embrace as Cas showed him that they weren‘t done yet for tonight. 

“Let me make it up to you,” he cooed and played with Cas’ tongue until they could go again. “You run the show now, ok?” he breathed at Cas’ plush lips and turned him around so that he was on top of him.

He interlaced their fingers and watched reverently as Cas lost himself above him, riding him hard until Dean felt himself coming inside him once more.

“Baby,” he said with an edge as Cas came back down, panting and stupidly grinning in his bliss. He reacted immediately when Dean lifted his head off the pillow and pressed his hands to Dean’s face before he gave him a heated kiss.

Dean stroked over Cas’ shoulders, gasping and feeling himself falling in love more than he had ever allowed himself before, stroking every inch of Cas he could reach as if he was scared to dent him if he touched him with anything more than a featherlight touch.

He laid their foreheads together, catching Cas’ eye and feeling words bubbling up inside of him, which needed out, needed to be heard. But before he could say them, Cas had smiled at him again, and rolled off to his own side. Dean felt like the moment was over and maybe that was a good thing. He could tell Cas later, because they were gonna have so many more great moments. A whole lifetime filled with moments.

“Dean? Is there a reason why your arms aren’t around me?”

“No, I was just thinking,” he answered and heard a pleased sigh when he snuggled up.

“About what?” Cas yawned and tugged him even closer until Dean’s head was over his shoulder.

“About how I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else than this inside of this run down dump with you.”

“So you admit it’s a dump,” Cas chuckled.

“Of course I do,” Dean laughed loudly now. “Look at it, it’s disgusting.”

“Doesn’t matter. As you said, we’ll fix it. And maybe later, we’ll build a proper house that isn’t all strings and glue holding it together.”

Dean felt a giant bubble of happiness swell inside him at Cas’ words as he nodded against his back so that he would feel it. If he opened his mouth now, he’d say all kinds of soppy shit that he didn’t want to admit out loud.

 

They were fixing the property for the most part now, digging up the rest of the old irrigation systems and more. Dean repaired troughs, dug up rusty pipes to replace them and laughed loudly at everything funny, no matter how mundane or boring his jobs or the lame jokes were. 

Slowly but surely, the cottage was coming along too. At least they had fixed the water and cleaned it up for use now. The most obvious blemishes were dealt with and the smaller ones strategically hidden so it looked almost perfect when you didn’t look too closely. Dean loved it in here, coming home at night to watch a movie with Cas during which he mostly went to sleep curled up against the other man, and got shaken awake with a kiss and a soft word that it was time to go to bed now. 

At night he did good on his promise and gave Cas everything he could possibly want. Refreshed by his usual nap on the couch he had all the energy to make Cas lose it for him every time, mostly even two times a night before he held him in his arms to go to sleep. 

Life had never been better and that of course meant, it wouldn’t last. Just when Dean hadn’t expected a blow anymore, one came. 

 

Cas told them one morning that his friend from the city would visit him soon.

“I understand if you can’t put him up here, but I kinda don’t have a house at the moment, and we could offer him the cottage and move back into the main house for a week, couldn’t we?“

Dean looked at Cas with his pleading eyes and grudgingly declared himself willing to let the new arrival sleep in his personal little heaven. 

He still thought that he and Cas were gonna move in there even temporarily, before they build a house next to the bigger one and then moved in there, growing old together. But once again he told himself to hold his horses about thinking something like that, Cas had said it once and it wasn’t as if he could hold him to it.

“So, this friend of yours… He a city boy too?”

“Yes, and he’s totally clueless about farming too. You’re gonna like him just as much as me at first.”


	11. Chapter 11

When Balthazar rolled onto the farm in a fresh from the factory Mercedes and ripped Cas up in his arms as soon as he saw him, his hands way to low on the other man’s hips for Dean’s liking, he knew he hated the guy's guts.

“Hey, Cassie. How have you been? And why on earth are you here on this hellhole of a farm and not on your own?”

Everything that came out of Balthazar’s mouth made Dean hate him even more.

“I’m getting work done on my house, and it’s taking longer than I had thought,” Cas answered and Dean didn’t fail to observe how Cas didn’t contradict Balthazar about the farm on which Dean had been absolutely happy right until now, being called a hellhole.

“Well, it’s not as if it will matter much anyway,” Balthazar said and Dean frowned at the familiar gesture of a hand sneaking around Cas’ waist as if Balthazar had done it a thousand times before. Maybe he had, it’s not as if they had ever talked about earlier relationships.

“Why won’t it matter?” Sam asked now, having come out to greet the new arrival himself, and once Dean got over the jealousy pooling inside him for a second, he asked himself the same question.

“Well, because Cassie will come back with me. I’ve started a business and he’s gonna be my partner in it.”

“It’s not decided, Balthazar. I know we talked about that, but it’s not as if I said anything definite,” Cas mumbled uncomfortably.

“Ah, but it’s always been your dream, Cassie,” Balthazar smiled and Dean thought if he’d have to hear Cas being called Cassie one more time, he’d start throwing punches.

“What kind of business?” he asked, barely able to hold it together.

“Balthazar and I talked about opening a store in college whenever everything got too much and it seemed like the easier way to go than go with our families’ plans. I’ve always wanted to open a coffee house and Balthazar said he’d want a bookstore.”

“And now we can have both,” Balthazar announced and showed them a picture of a store he had bought. “Cas is gonna be able to do his coffee thing and there is gonna be a part with books as well, and I was thinking what’s coffee without cake? So we’ll be going into that as well.”

“Balth, I didn’t say yes. It was just an idea and I-”

“Ah, Cassie. You know you don’t want to be stuck out here for much longer. And this is what you’ve always wanted. Now we can make it come true.”

“Well, we’d better leave you to it,” Dean said with pure acid in his voice. “Cas can get you settled in the cottage and it sounds like you have a lot to talk about.”

Dean stalked off to the horses then, only hearing Balthazar say at his back: “Typical sourly farmer, isn’t he Cassie?”

He didn’t stick around to hear Cas’ reply, and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to hear it anyway.

 

Balthazar’s presence poisoned everything, or at least Dean thought so. He said he’d be here a whole week, and Dean feared that it was gonna be the longest seven days of his entire life.

“Hey,” he greeted Cas when he came into their old room in the main house again on the evening of Balthazar's first day here. “Care to share what Balthazar was on about?” Dean had worked for the entire rest of the day and Balthazar hadn’t joined them at dinner because it was too early for him apparently.

“It’s just one of his plans,” Cas shrugged and undressed. “He’s made a lot of plans over the years and it never came to much. I guess he’ll forget about it sooner or later.”

“But is that really something you want to do?”

“It was always a dream of mine,” Cas shrugged as if it mattered nothing.

“And now that you have the possibility of fulfilling it and you’re not gonna take the offer? Why?”

“Dreams change,” Cas rasped and when his lips found Dean’s there was no more talk for the night.

 

In the morning they needed all hands on deck for the harvest and while Sam, Dean, Cas and Bobby were out there they could forget about Balthazar’s bothersome presence.

They celebrated loudly once everything was harvested and Dean ripped Cas up and gave him a big kiss for everyone to see. “Do you actually know that you saw the entire process of this? You came here when we sowed and now we’re bringing it in and you’re still here,” Dean said with a moved expression and pulled Cas close again, their hats falling off somewhere.

He felt like it was the next perfect moment and was just about to tell Cas he loved him, when he heard a sonorous voice behind them.

“Why are you lot all shouting?”

“Balth!” Cas said happily and darted over, hugging him and telling him how amazing it was that they had just brought in the harvest. Dean’s arms suddenly felt cold and he wondered if Balthazar knew what he had just interrupted as Sammy pulled Dean into one of his bonecrushing hugs and thanked him for coming out here and helping him build the place up.

“You’re welcome, Sammy,” Dean asked, one tear rolling down his cheek which he didn’t know where it came from as he pulled Bobby close too.

 

He tried to avoid Balthazar as much as possible, and that meant to avoid Cas by proxy because he hung around with the schmuck most of his free time now and that was cool, Dean told himself. They were old friends and hadn’t seen each other for a while, there was nothing more to this.

Dean tried to ignore the sickening familiarity between them and not to punch the guy square in the face whenever he so much as looked at Cas. But Balthazar didn’t leave it at that. He flirted and touched Cas all the time, like there was nothing for it. 

Dean hated him and Sam asked their mother to bring him an extra pair of ear plugs and big headphones because Dean never let Cas sleep without wiping him out completely.

He fucked him very hard, at least two times before bed until Cas came screaming his name and was barely able to hold his eyes open, sighing contently and praising Dean for the best way he’d ever been fucked in his life. Dean felt pride at hearing Cas say that as he pulled out and clung to the body and soul he claimed as his every night. He didn’t give a shit about Sam hearing what they did, the only thing that mattered to him was to wreck Cas for everybody else so that he’d not leave him.

But it didn’t matter. When they got up to breakfast and he saw him smile at Cas, he felt like if he blasted Balthazar all the way behind Pluto then he’d still be too close to him. 

 

After the week was out, Dean was informed by Balthazar himself that he wanted to stay a bit longer.

“Me and Cassie still have so much to talk about. Would you mind if I took him out to dinner tonight?”

“I can’t say. You gotta ask Cas about that.”

“Of course, I only wanted to know if I’m treading on anyone’s toes here.”

“You don’t,” Dean said, his voice as ice cold as his insides. Balthazar couldn’t be that stupid. He knew that there were only two working bedrooms in the main house and that Cas disappeared into it every night, so either he was sleeping in one room with Sam, or with Dean. 

Any idiot would see that Cas was all touchy feely with him and not his brother, so what was Balthazar’s agenda here? Did he purposefully ignore that Cas was with him, or did he really not see it? Had Cas said anything about Dean to him?

“Good. Can you then recommend me something that you country people could mistake for fancy dining around here?”

“You mean, who makes the best food in town? I guess you could try the hotel. It’s fancier than the bar or the diner.”

“Thank you,” Balthazar said pompously and walked off, doubtless to find Cas and ask him out for tonight.

 

“So, Balthazar suggested we go into town tonight. Wanna come with?” Cas was once again watching Dean work with a horse, one that had been skittish from the get go and Dean wasn’t sure if it was ever gonna be able to work with cattle.

“Pass. I’m not gonna sit around while you’re on a date,” he said, trying to stay calm for the horse’s sake.

“It’s not a date, Dean. And I want you and Balthazar to get along better. I thought the ice was broken between you too when you talked to him about that.”

“I don’t think it will.”

“You know, Dean? Sometimes I really can’t understand you. I met all your friends and family. You made sure of that. But you block when I bring one friend over?”

“Yeah, well. My friends don’t want in my pants and parade it in front of your nose, do they?”

“For the last time, Balthazar doesn’t want in my pants!” Cas grew loud, saying what he always said when Dean brought his observations about Balthazar up. The horse startled by the loud voices, bucked up and threw Dean.

“Shit, oh shit,” Cas climbed into the training round and ran over.

“Get out,” Dean shouted, already back on his feet again, trying to calm the stomping animal so that it wouldn’t hurt Cas. “And thanks very much! I gotta start all over because you felt the need to shout at me. Go on your fucking date and leave me the fuck alone!”

Dean didn’t check if Cas was still there, only looking around when he had calmed the colt down again and Cas was already gone.

 

Dean didn’t think much of both their behavior today, he knew he was gonna lose Cas if they carried on like that, so he stayed up, wanting to wait up for him to talk about what had happened today, his butt stinging whenever he tried to sit down.

He paced the house instead of waiting up in bed, hours after Sam had went to sleep and then finally he heard Balthazar’s engine revvy over at the carport.

He waited for another half-hour for Cas to come to him, but when he didn’t, he stomped over to the cottage and ripped the door open.

Cas was happy and relaxed, sitting on the couch that Dean had fixed up for the both of them, and Balthazar just poured him another glass of wine.

“You don’t understand, Cassie,“ he finished what they were saying before even taking notice of Dean. “Everything is existentialist with Nietzsche. Wouldn’t you agree, Dean?” he now found Dean’s eyes with a sly expression, certain that Dean wouldn’t have a great answer.

Cas obviously thought so too, because he already pitched in for Dean: “Balthazar, stop teasing him.”

After that, he said something else about Nietzsche’s philosophy as if Dean’s angry pose and heaving breaths didn’t have any meaning at all. 

He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that they weren’t even fazed by the way he had barged in here or the way they were completely ignoring him now. Maybe they weren’t really, in their eyes Dean was a caveman with no manners anyway, he thought bitterly. But what really killed him was that Cas didn’t even give him a chance to reply because he thought that the conversation was way above Dean’s pay grade anyway. 

He backed out of the cottage before he felt more like an idiot, all fight and anger leaving him because he knew when he fought a lost battle.

“Dean?” Cas came up behind him before he had gone ten steps.

“What?” Dean asked unwillingly and quieter than he had even thought his mind was, now that it was cleared.

“What’s going on with you?” Cas asked, completely astounded at Dean’s defeated voice. “Normally you’d snap when you are as angry as you were right now. You’d shove me against a wall and claim me.”

“So are you disappointed that I won’t breed you like a savage now?” Dean asked, without any heat in his voice. To be honest, he thought his voice sounded nothing short of dead just now. “Guess I’m just tired of doing that. And I shouldn’t have to do it. Because I think I’m in love with you and if you’d feel something to, you wouldn’t be hanging around with that schmuck all the time.” There, he’d said it and it was nothing like he had planned. This wasn’t a perfect moment and he somehow doubted he’d have one with Cas again after today.

Cas ripped open his eyes at Dean‘s words but was too angry to reply anything but: “How many times do I have to tell you? We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” 

“I can’t tell you how wrong you are about this. You should really talk to him, he’s very clever and sophisticated. If you would be friendly to him you could really profit from it.”

“Yeah, because I’m just a dumb farm boy and need social training to be acceptable for someone who doesn’t spend their days in the shearing quarters, right?”

“Don’t say that. You are smart…;” Cas thought about it for a while and then added: “In your own way.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Just that you could use some manners and that you mostly talk about the farm.”

This wasn‘t at all what Dean wanted to hear and this conversation went further downhill the longer it lasted. 

“About what else would you like to talk? Philosophy? The newest high class literature? The latest episode of Game of Thrones? You‘ve just shown that you don‘t think I have a valid opinion about any of that when you patronized me like that in there.”

“I didn’t,” Cas said with a surprised expression.

“Oh you absolutely did. You went over me as if I couldn’t answer Balthazar’s question anyway. Don’t pretend that you didn’t.”

“I guess, I did. But I was just trying to protect you.”

“No, you weren’t. You just assumed that I didn’t know anything about it anyway.”

“That’s it, though,” Cas said enraged at Dean‘s complete passiveness. “That’s how you make me feel every day. You’re so good at farming and at everything around here and I always feel like I can’t ever learn all you know about it. I would maybe like to talk about something where I can prove that I know stuff too. Just different from what you do every day and are naturally good at. But you have a way of making my wishes and thoughts sound profane in comparison to your concerns.”

“That’s because they are. I have a farm to run and I’m not gonna apologize if that is top of my priorities list right now. Obviously we could talk about all of that, if I had gotten to know you at all until now. Right now the way I see it, the only thing we have in common is that we both are working in the same line a’ business. Excuse me if I thought that might be a good conversation ground until I know everything there’s to know about you and you’d show genuine interest in learning more about farming.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas said, the heat leaving his voice at Dean explaining his view. “I thought you were looking down on me.”

“And your way of dealing with that is by wanting to make me feel inadequate, by once again assuming that I’m dumb and can’t spend a whole night debating Nietzsche over a glass of wine? Tell you what, Cas. I damn well could! If I didn’t have to get up to fix troughs in the morning, or if there wasn’t this auction we wanted to go to and check for livestock with our earnings from the corn harvest. So excuse me if I don‘t have time to discuss this fascinating topic any longer or god forbid apologize to you for snapping this evening. Which I don‘t even have to do, because it was your fault that the horse threw me. I‘m not waiting up for you, waiting for you to come back to me when you‘d rather hang out with that asshole anyway. Good night,” he walked off and left Cas behind.

When Cas came to bed later, it was the first time they shared a bed but didn’t sleep together and Dean hated it. He stayed awake the whole night, and if Cas’ wriggling and sighing was anything to go by, he wasn’t much better off himself.


	12. Chapter 12

In the morning, Dean asked Cas if they should continue the search for the ghostly object again with more force than before and Cas agreed. Perhaps it was good that Cas and he took a little time off and he could take the management of his own farm back up. Cas’ family had put a manager on the property ever since had Cas lived here, and nobody else on the farm had been affected by the ghost.

Dean was ready to drive hours and hours if it meant that Cas did his own thing again and maybe felt confident about what he did without Dean looking over his shoulder daily. He thought that it would be good for Cas to run his own farm for a while, and then maybe he would understand Dean’s point of view better. Although, he was thinking about buying a book by Nietzsche while they were in town today.

 

They drove to the nearest livestock auction, Balthazar kindly taking a raincheck on spending the whole day around animals, and Dean felt able to laugh again while the four men of Cedar Ridge arrived at the parking lot. Dean and Sam in a pick up truck and Bobby and Cas in the bigger truck they had hired for today. The first thing Dean noticed when they pulled up was Frank’s truck. The second thing he noticed was a brand new truck with the Winchester’s logo on the side.

“Dad’s here,” Dean nodded at it and Sam just shrugged.

“Hopefully he’s come to terms with this by now.”

“You _really_ think so?” Dean asked and his head moved forward a little because he put so much emphasis on his question.

Sam pouted and shrugged again: “I hope.”

 

Dean led Cas around the little portable yards of the sheep pens once they were once around the auction grounds.

“So, you’re buying sheep today, right?”

“Yeah, can’t afford cattle yet and we’ll mostly go for the bargain sheep at that.”

Cas nodded, still a little stiffly because of their fight yesterday and Dean really wanted to talk to him now, but if he started a conversation here the whole town would soon know about their fight too and so he just walked on.

He stopped at another pen that looked interesting, his attention caught at the opening bid being an absolute dump price.

Cas kept back when Frank came up behind him and announced: “That’s a sad looking bunch.”

“Yeah, it is isn’t it? They look like they’re half dead.”

Dean heard more of the conversation, nodding at the auctioneer a few times.

Then he heard another familiar voice behind him.

“Frank. Mr. Novak,” there was an obvious nod in John’s voice as he joined Frank and Cas.

“Have you ever seen sheep that look so weak?” John asked, gleeful because he must know that Dean was bidding right now.

“That’s what me and Frank were saying just now. You have to be dumb to buy them,” Cas seemed happy to strike a conversation when the auctioneer announced. “Sold for 2,50 a head to Dean Winchester.”

He turned around just in time for Cas to grow pale and for John to laugh mightily at Cas’ dumbstruck expression.

“You should see the look on your face,” John continued to laugh and tipped at his hat when Dean came up to them. “Good to see you, son. I see you haven’t lost all your sense on that organic crap farm of your brothers'. What kind a’ profit rate are you looking at with this herd?”

“I’d say 200%,” Dean shrugged impassively, looking past his father and at Cas‘ unusually pale face. “300 if we’re lucky.”

“If you get them fed up, that is,” John slapped his back and went on his way again, still laughing.

“We were having you, Cas,” Frank admitted when Cas seemed to have acquired lockjaw after John‘s disappearance. “But John took it too far, like always.”

“You ok, Cas?” Dean asked, gently nudging him.

Cas nodded sharply and stalked off.

 

Dean didn’t see him for a while, joining Sam who bid on another mob and then they loaded the young sheep on the truck they had hired.

As they just closed the bolts, Cas joined them again, looking downcast and still pissed.

“So, lunch?” Sam asked and they all nodded.

They walked to the nearest place that served food and Dean asked Cas again: “Are you ok?”

“No, not really. I looked like a complete idiot in front of your father.”

“Yeah, because he set you up.”

“You could have warned me.”

“I was in the middle of bidding, I couldn’t well shout out: ’Don’t listen to him, baby.’ No one would take me seriously if I did that.”

“Yes, and now no one is taking me seriously.”

“You just don’t know much about sheep yet.”

“Do you realize there is always something new I don’t know about and that people can hold over me?”

“It’ll pass,” Dean assured him.

“Yeah, in more years again, right?” Cas said bitterly.

“You’ll get there,” Dean assured him and Cas nodded, his head apparently racing.

“You know sometimes I think it would be easier if I’d go back to the city.”

“What?” Dean stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re thinking of leaving?”

“Relax. I would come back, you know? But in the city I wouldn‘t have any of these problems to fit in.”

“Life ain’t always easy,” Dean said, hiding his hands in his trousers because they shook like mad. “Hang in there, baby. It’ll get better.”

“If you say so,” Cas nodded, again not really there in his head and Dean felt the ground shake underneath him as he followed after him to the diner.

 

Cas wasn’t in a very good mood for the rest of the day, no matter what everyone did to try and cheer him up. Not even when Charlie and Jess showed up and Sam finally manned up and asked Jess out for their first official date. Dean gave him a grin at that, applauding his brother once the girls had moved on watch the auction of horses next and maybe buy one that they could afford. But when Dean looked at Cas’ stonelike manner, felt himself slipping again.

“Hey, how about we go down to the lake tomorrow?” he nuzzled Cas against the truck when they were ready to go home. “Hmm? Have a lazy day. Just you, me and lots of action in the water.”

“Sounds nice,” Cas sighed and let Dean press a kiss to his temple before he got into the truck with Bobby and Sam and Dean got into the bigger one, loaded up with 200 sheep.

“What’s going on lately?” Sam asked as Dean carefully backed out and they rumpled onto the way home again.

“It’s Balthazar that’s fucking things up and Dad was an asshole to Cas today. We’re not in a good place,” he admitted.

“But you’ll fix it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. He said things would be easier for him in the city, Sammy. Sounds like he’s thinking of leaving, don’t it?”

“Then you gotta show him that you don’t want that.”

“I told him that I loved him. And he didn’t say it back,” the words rolled off his tongue before he could stop them.

“What?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to. We were arguing and I just mentioned it in passing. I screwed up, Sammy.”

“Just tell him again,” Sam said, giving his brother an emphatic smile. “He’ll say it back when the time is right. Anyway, what are you thinking about me and Jess?”

“Just one thing. About damn time, Sammy!” Dean felt himself grin, even though his head was filled with dread.

 

In the morning Dean packed a for a whole day of being out on the property and felt really good when he heard Balthazar talk to Sam while Cas was out saddling up.

“Have you seen Cassie?”

“No, I haven’t,” Sam said offhandedly.

“It’s ok, I’ll find him.” and Dean thought he couldn’t love his brother more, because he knew exactly where Cas was and what he had planned for today and just didn’t tell Balthazar.

Sam walked out with him, carrying a saddle bag for him and they checked on the sheep again before Dean and Cas rode out.

“Hey, Sammy?” Dean pointed at one sheep that could barely keep itself upright. “I’m not seeing what I’m seeing, right?”

“What is it?” Cas asked when Sam looked at the ewe Dean was pointing at and made a violent gesture with both his arms before he raked his hands over his face.

“Damn it!” Sam shouted with emphasis.

“Maybe it’s just the one,” Dean tried to soothe him as he let Cas hold his horse and grabbed the sick sheep around it’s front legs and turned it around until it had it‘s back towards the ground.

“Don’t look so shocked,” Dean said to Cas when he dragged the animal out, walking backwards. “It doesn’t hurt ‘em.”

He dragged the sheep into an empty yard that Sam held open for him and when the ewe was in, he held it down, bringing one front leg behind his own legs and checked it’s eyes. “It’s definitely conjunctivitis, alright,” he decreed and then let the animal get back up. “Yah!” he slapped it’s behind and the animal darted, or rather wobbled, off. Sam raked his hands through his hair now, looking panicky.

“It shows all the signs of agalactia, doesn’t it?” Dean said and kicked the ground sourly.

“Yeah, it does,” Sam was just as pissed as Dean was when the animal wobbled on it’s legs as if it was in pain. Dean leaned down and checked the joints of the animal next. “Yeah, definitely inflamed.”

“So, it’s a disease?”

“Yeah, and a notifiable one at that,” Dean nodded as he climbed back out of the paddock. “It’s just the one though and it has the wrong ear tag too.”

“What’s the ear tag, then?”

“Winchester’s,” Dean said and Sam looked as if a brick had hit him in the stomach.

“So Dad’s mixed a sick sheep in our new herd and thinks he can get away with it?” Sam fumed.

“Yeah, guess so. He must have done it yesterday at auction. Though why he’d just have a sick one like that around, I don’t know.”

“I gotta call the vet. And he’s gonna want to vaccinate the lot.”

“And that would mean what?” Cas asked about the stone cold expression on both brother's faces. 

“Means they’re not organic anymore, Cas. But y‘know, maybe we‘re lucky. We noticed it in time and I guess Dad‘s gonna be pretty pissed that we alert the vet about a sick sheep of his. Dunno why he pulled a stupid stunt like that in the first place. It‘s not gonna do him any good. We need to keep an eye on the rest of them though.”

Sam nodded, but tried to calm down: “You should go and enjoy yourselves though. Me and Bobby can handle things here. It’s just an isolated case and we can’t do anything until the vet was here and confirmed it. We just gotta keep ’em separate.”

“Sure you can handle it?”

“I’m serious, Dean. You can go. Take the day off. We’re not gonna do much except checking them.”

 

“So you’re not gonna kill that sheep then?” Cas asked once they rode next to each other. “Stop it from spreading?”

“Nope, don’t need to. All it needs is treatment. I just hope the rest haven‘t caught it.”

“Your father is an ass, you know that?”

Dean shrugged and didn’t comment, filial loyalty still too strong inside him. But he had to admit that John hadn’t been the nicest person in the world ever since they’d got to Cedar Ridge.

“I just wish, he wouldn’t do things like that. But he has his ways, which he thinks are right and to which he holds with an iron fist.”

“Dean, you can say it to me. I know when you’re angry, I can tell by the way you hunch your shoulders,” Cas said, noticing things about Dean which only his oldest friends knew about before and that loosened Dean's tongue.

“Damn right I’m angry, but I can’t do anything,” Dean let his horse trot when they came up to the lake. “Let’s not talk about this anymore until we know the verdict, ok? Today is about us.”

“Ok,” Cas answered as they tied their horses to a tree.

“Well, what are you waiting for, get naked already,” Dean encouraged as he already pulled his boots and socks off and jumped in the water as soon as he was nude.

“I dunno,” Cas hemmed and hawed. “I’ve never been skinny dipping.”

“Dude, it’s only me here and I’ve seen you naked countless times. Get your gorgeous ass over here.”

“Alright,” Cas smiled and finally joined Dean in the cool water.

“It’s really nice,” he said as he trod water, next to him.

“Yeah,” Dean kept eye contact and swam closer. “I know,” he gasped and dunked Cas’ under water for a second.

When Cas came back up he looked waterlogged and so pissed that Dean couldn’t stop laughing at his sour expression.

“So this is funny to you, right?”

“Yes,” Dean said in a grunting laugh.

“It won’t be funny anymore when I retaliate,” Cas said and lunged for Dean who just swam away, completely relaxed.

“Maybe you’d get me if you didn’t announce it first,” he chuckled as Cas swam closer again.

“Or maybe I just need to catch you off guard, when you’re really not expecting it,” Cas purred and rubbed himself against Dean, using the drift of the water to get them both hard.

“You wouldn’t, would you?” Dean said, his chuckle dying on his lips and being replaced with a wanton expression as their cocks bopped against each other in the water.

“Not really,” Cas rasped and held onto Dean’s neck, bracing himself on him as he continued to rub himself on him.

“Wanna finish this in here or on dry land?” Dean asked.

“We can do it again later,” Cas panted at Dean as they moved so that he could stand in the water as Cas locked his feet behind his back. “Right now, I just wanna make you come.”

“Damn, I love the way you work me,” Dean panted, Cas humping him with force and he already felt himself twitch. “That’s it, just a little more.”

Cas grunted happily when hot liquid shot out of Dean’s cock, at a totally different temperature than the cool water around them and screwed his eyes closed as he imitated him with happy pants and more humps.

Then Cas grinned and pressed Dean’s head under water for a second which came so unexpected that when he came back up he huffed and puffed, finding Cas with a completely confused expression on his face.

“Gotcha,” Cas smirked dirtily.

“You’ll pay for this,” Dean said in his best threatening voice and carried Cas out of the lake with a quick lurch over his shoulder, not letting him get down while he whacked a picnic blanket and a bottle of lube out of a saddle bag.

“Is that a promise?” Cas smirked when he finally was on the ground again and Dean was on him in another couple of seconds.

Dean retaliated for it by teasing him for over an hour before he finally showed mercy and fucked him senseless.

 

They were still lazing around, eating the increasingly wobbly sandwiches they had packed, when they heard a sheep baaing behind them.

“Fucking shit!” they shouted out in unison and redressed with lightning speed.

“Someone must have left a gate open,” Dean fumed, already on horseback again.

“It wasn’t me,” Cas said defensively at once.

“I never said that,” Dean said, rolling his eyes and urging Mary Grace to ride over to the sheep faster.

“You ride another way, over the field and see if there are any more over there, ok?”

“Yep, got it,” Cas said and rode off into another direction while Dean took the most direct route back to the homestead, driving a dozen sheep by the end of it.

“Sammy!” Dean shouted when he came up to the yards.

“Yeah, over here. C’mon!” Sam shouted at the sheep and got behind them, driving them into the yard.

“Bobby’s out there already as well.”

“How many are gone? Is the sick one still in the yard?”

“No, it’s all empty.”

“Fucking terrific,” Dean groaned and rode back out immediately.

He came across Bobby on the way back out.

“How many head, Bobby?”

“50,” came the grumpy reply from the older man. “The sick one’s not here. I reckon it was that city douche.”

“Yeah, me too. Need help gettin‘ them in?”

“Get gone, idjit. Find the rest.”

Dean nodded and rode on, finding other two dozen on the empty field next to the one he had sent Cas into.

“Ya! Get movin’ you stupid beasts,” he drove them back to the homestead.

“Has Cas come back in the mean time?” he asked once they were all in the yard.

“Yeah, he’s brought about 30 back and said he’d check the Devereaux boundary paddock next.”

“There’s everything full of trees there, he’s gonna need help.”

Sam nodded and already checked on the lot that Dean had just brought up.

 

He rode out again, tired and still pissed as hell. The sheep needed rest and not being chased all over the property because some asshole couldn’t close a damn gate.

“Hey Cas,” he shouted when he saw him trying to round up what looked like the rest of the mob.

“Dean I could use some help, they’re all behind trees.”

“Sure thing, you take the one side and I the other,” they closed in a scissor around the animals and drove them back towards home.

“You see that, Dean?” Cas pointed at one specific ewe.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

The Winchester ear marked sheep was among them.

“We’re gonna need to separate them from the others. And the already infected one needs isolation again.”

“How likely is it that they got it now?” Cas asked.

“Likelier than before at least,” Dean grumbled when they were back at the yards.

“No, Sammy not that one. The infected one is in this lot,” he shook his head when Sam wanted to open the pen for them.

“Over here then,” Sam helped them on foot and after a final count, 201 sheep were back in the yards.

“Stupidest thing that could’ve happened,” Dean said sourly as they isolated the sick one again just when the vet and Balthazar came up behind them.

“Cassie!” Balthazar said with a wide grin. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have left the gates open when you were looking for me, did you?”

“Does it matter?” Balthazar laughed and Dean couldn’t help himself at it. He shoved the price idiot onto the ground and raised his fist to improve his face with a couple of angry bruises, ripping him up by his undoubtedly very expensive shirt.

“Dean, calm down. He doesn’t know better,” Cas kept him from punching Balthazar in the face now. “He’s an idiot, alright. He didn’t do it on purpose though. He had no idea that the sheep were sick, right Balthazar?”

“Hang on, these ugly things are sick? Do I need a doctor?” Balthazar huffed, even as Dean let him go, not too gently so his back hit the dirt road once more.

“It’s not contagious for humans, ye idjit,” Bobby grumbled at him, holding Dean’s other arm even though he seemed like the wanted to punch Balthazar himself.

“Well thank God for that. I don’t know what you’re so upset about then.”

“Because you’re an idiot,” Cas rasped deeply and rolled his eyes.

Dean looked at Cas with surprise, and relaxed a bit, his anger fading away quickly. When had it happened that Cas was just as upset as he was about something like this? All thought of punching Balthazar in the face vanished as he looked at Cas with a new wave of love flooding through him at him getting things like this now.

“Well I guess I owe you all an apology,” Balthazar said in that damn sonorous tone of his. “How about I’ll treat you all to dinner before I leave, ok?”

The only thing Dean liked about this sentence was the word ‘leave’, but he nodded, looking at Balthazar with more disdain than he had ever felt in his life.

 

“He didn’t know better!”

“You can’t keep lying to yourself, Cas. He can’t be so stupid that he doesn’t know that animals get out when the gates are open. And besides, he didn’t just leave one gate open, he left every gate open!” he had just wanted to talk to Cas after all that had happened, he hadn’t wanted to argue.

“So what are you thinking? That he’s in on this with your father and wants to ruin everything?”

“Yes!” Dean shouted out his thoughts on the matter after having found out that every last gate on the property had been left open to ensure that the sheep spread all over the property. “Hell, he is ruining everything. He wants you, Cas, and he’s not gonna stop until he has you. I won’t let that happen.”

“I am so sick of your jealousy and your suspicions, Dean. I can take care of myself. Balthazar will not do anything that I don’t want.”

“So you’re saying you want him to do things with you?”

“I didn’t say that, damn it! Why are you making everything so damn hard?”

“I don’t know,” Dean shouted back. “Perhaps it’s all too hard for you if you can’t take being laughed at by people like my father. If you can’t stand that I’m telling you things as I see them. If you can’t stand asking for things you don’t know around here. Maybe your hide isn’t thick enough for this life!”

Cas snapped his mouth closed, obvious hurt in his face. “Maybe it really isn’t.”

“Don’t walk away, Cas. You can change, I can change. And the rest will just fall in line.”

“You keep saying that, Dean. But what if it doesn’t? What if I screw up again, like with the heifer? And you look at me like you looked at Balthazar today?”

“I wouldn’t,” Dean said taken aback.

“You don’t know that. The screw up only has to be big enough.”

 

Cas was very distant for the rest of the day and didn’t even sleep in the same bed with him tonight. Dean had seen him go over to the shearer’s quarters and felt somewhat consoled that he at least wasn’t spending the night anywhere near Balthazar but still he felt his eyes burning every time he looked at the empty spot in the bed next to him.

The next morning, after another sleepless night and many cares, saw the final ending of Balthazar’s visit and when Sam talked about his plans to say farewell to him with a big barbeque over breakfast, Dean and Cas only nodded, not looking at the other.

 

“Everyone, gather round please. Cassie and I have an announcement,” Balthazar said as they had finished eating in the evening. They had temporarily fixed up one of the disused shacks around the homestead and Balthazar had creased his nose and complained about it more than once that this was gonna be the venue for his farewell venue, but in the end he had conceded because Dean looked borderline murderous when he complained. Everyone couldn’t wait for him to be gone, but what he said just now didn’t bode well.

Dean felt his heart sinking into his shoes at the schmucks’ words, because he seemed to know what was coming. Cas hadn’t spent one minute with him today. Anything might have happened in the mean time.

Charlie took Dean’s right arm, Jess hugged him from around the back and Sam laid his right arm over his shoulders. Together, they awaited the blow that would surely come now.

“I finally convinced him to come back to town with me and open that business we always wanted to run.”

Everyone was shocked into silence for a second, Mary, Frank and Bobby looking at Dean, surrounded by his closest friends and his brother before they politely clapped at the news. Dean wasn’t able to raise one hand to even pretend to be happy, the hellfire that burned away every thought of his happiness in his mind just wouldn’t let him.

 

“So you’re going back to the city? Getting things on with Balthazar too?” Dean asked once he had the chance to get Cas on his own outside of the shack.

Cas shrugged, not wanting to argue again apparently and looked over the plains that had held corn just a week ago and were now empty and desolate looking.

“I like it here, you know that. But I think you were right. This life’s too hard for me in the long haul. And it’s not as if anyone really shouts at me that I shouldn’t go. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe old dreams shouldn’t be abandoned. But if you want me to stay, I will.”

Dean gulped, pain coursing through his veins. This was the moment he could turn this bullshit around, he could make him stay. But could he really do that? This business was Cas’ real dream, he’d always want to do it and could he say: ‘no, you’re staying with me and not live your dream, because you’re my new dream?‘ He couldn’t, could he?

Screw this, he thought and opened his mouth, but Cas had already politely smiled and turned his back to go back in, not betting on getting an answer anymore.

“Stay,” Dean whispered softly.

Cas must not have heard it because he went on into the shack and Dean was left outside in a night that seemed to have lost all it’s warmth now.

Cas turned around in the door opening, smiling at him but there was definite pain lined in his face: “I’ll come by often to visit.”

“Yes, do that. Please,” Dean nodded and then turned his face away, not wanting to let Cas know that he was crying now. He knew Cas wouldn’t come back. Balthazar would make sure of it.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean’s life had lost all it’s color now. Cas left together with Balthazar just a day after the barbeque and Dean thought as if the world was ending. He hardly spoke, barely slept and felt like his head wasn’t screwed on right anymore.

Sam tried to call Cas after a week of radio silence when they found out that the sheep were all healthy except for the one that his father had planted on their farm. Cas had called once with the number of the store that Balthazar had bought and it was the only number they had of him right now.

John hadn’t shown any repentance about his behavior and Mary had had a huge argument with her husband about it. She had moved in with them for the time being, and slept in Dean’s old room.

He gave it to her because he just couldn’t be in there anymore. He slept in the shearer’s quarters now, in the room next to Bobby. He didn’t set foot in the cottage for the entire week and when Sam came down to where he trained the skittish quarter horse and told him that Cas still hadn’t called back to hear how the sheep were doing, Dean brandished a sledgehammer and single-handedly dismantled the cottage from top to bottom. The planks of wood crumbled easily while he took it down to studs and then he dismantled those too, one by one. Everyone came running once Dean had worked his way around the house and the roof came caving in.

“Dean, what the fuck?” Sam said, completely aghast.

“We could use the rubble, or just get it away, I don’t care. I just wanted it gone.” He let the hammer fall and stomped off to the shearer’s quarters, brooding for hours until he fell asleep, completely exhausted not even minding when he remembered that he hadn’t brought the horse back into it’s box.

In the morning, he stood by the remainder of the cottage, feeling energy and pain course through him. He spent the next few days over at Porter’s farm and continued searching for the object, finally having found something he could channel his restless energy into.

 

Cas didn’t reply to his emails and whenever he called, he only got Balthazar on the phone. He asked him to tell Cas to call him back every time, but he never heard back from him.

Whenever he wasn’t training or Sammy didn’t need him on the property, he was over at the other farm and searched it up and down. Maybe if he produced a result, Cas would be interested in it.

While he searched, the new sheep didn‘t show any signs of contagion and John Winchester got a severe penalty from the authorities. First of all for exposing his neighbors’ stock to a notifiable disease and second of all not having called a vet over when he noticed the first signs of the disease with his own stock. Sam was incredibly gleeful when people who hadn’t wanted his business before now called them about wanting to work with them. John Winchester had brought himself out of most of the surrounding people’s good books with his behavior.

Dean knew he ought to be happy about their victory over their father, but he couldn’t bring himself to even smile. Instead, he was over on Cas’ property, searching for the still not found object. He worked a grid over the entire farm but day and again he came back, not having found anything.

“Honey, shouldn’t you give it a rest now?” Mary asked when she came to him to bring him lunch. “It’s not as if…” her words trailed off and Dean didn’t wanna think about what she may have meant.

 

About two weeks after this, Dean found an old well, boarded up with corrugated sheet iron and something just told him that he had found what he had been looking for. He unscrewed the lid and made Sammy come out with him to lower him in to it.

He used a flashlight to search the bottom and found an old, heavily used, dirty doll down there.

“Yahtzee,” he grinned and put it into the bucket that Sam had lowered down.

“Pull it up,” he yelled, just when the ghost of the accidentally murdered girl came out of the darkness around him from outta nowhere.

“Shit! Sam burn it, quickly!” Dean yelled when the spirit of the girl reached inside his chest and he felt his heart in an ice cold clench as she whispered viciously at him.

“You let him go! I showed you that he was your sleeping prince and you just let him go! You may as well be dead now!”

Dean rasped out a strained breath, seeing that the dead girl ghost was totally right about his situation as she finally disappeared in a flame and he heard Sam’s voice 10 seconds later, shouting down the well.

“Dean?”

“Yeah,” he rasped quietly and pulled at the rope to show that he was still alive when he noticed that his voice didn’t carry all the way up there.

Sam pulled him up then and held on to hugged him close shaking and mumbling, but it was to be excused given that he had almost lost his brother just now on his first successful ghost hunt.

“Sammy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you spare me for a couple a’ days?”

“Why?”

“I’m gonna go to town and tell Cas that we fixed his problem.”

“Yeah, great idea. And Dean? Don’t come back alone.”

Dean nodded as they went back to their own property.

“And don’t kill Balthazar.”

“Can’t make any promises, Sammy.”

 

Three days later, Dean was in Dallas, searching the local newspapers in the library. Not for obituaries of likely ghost candidates for once, but for recent openings of new stores. He didn’t need to go back far, it had only been one and a half months since Cas had moved back here, and he quickly found a picture on which Cas was with Balthazar. The blonde man wore his usual big grin, but Cas looked absolutely unhappy in it and that alone was enough to confirm to Dean that it was the worst decision he had ever made not to stop Cas from coming back here.

He found the address in the article and went into the café with the shop attached to it, prepared to wait for Cas for the next couple of years if he must.

The first one to show his face was Balthazar, and Dean fumed on the inside when he saw him, but he stayed polite.

“Hello,” he said and proceeded to tell him about he was just in town on business and thought he’d stop by and say hi.

“Cassie is not in today,” Balthazar said, but Dean could clearly see that he lied. He had smelled that Balthazar had been more than a little dishonest whenever they spoke on the phone and he recognized his lying tone again now. In person, he additionally shifted back and forth when he told him that Cas wouldn’t come back soon.

Apparently Balthazar had no back up plan in case the country bumpkin should actually invade the city and he squirmed around very much, trying to convince Dean that Cas wasn’t coming in today and he may as well go. Dean sat around and waited, somehow strangely happy when Balthazar told him about how things were going great with Cas now, but all he told him didn’t sound genuine at all.

“And well, I think Cassie and I are very close to finally getting over that asexual thing of his.”

“Hang on,” Dean held his hand up. “Cas is not asexual.”

“I’m pretty sure he is. He’s flinched away every time I tried to touch him.”

“Strange,” Dean mused, mock contemplative at Balthazar trying to assure him that he and Cas were in an asexual relationship, or any relationship for that matter. “He always seemed pretty sexual to me, y’know whenever we had sex.”

“What?” Balthazar spoke up astonished, but Dean was relieved of trying to unravel the possibility of Balthazar‘s surprise being genuine or not by the arrival of Cas coming in just now. He looked exactly like he had back on the farm, a little grim perhaps but his face parted into a wide smile when he caught sight of Dean who got up, finally smiling again too.

“Hello Dean,” he rasped as if something hurting was stuck in his throat. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Dean asked, a little confused. “I sent you an email that I was coming here.”

“I never got it,” Cas pondered, and ripped open his eyes.

“I wrote to you, Cas. Every night since you been gone. Don’t tell me you didn’t get those mails either?”

“I never-... I-”

“And I called. You never called me back.”

“I never got a call from you.”

“Yeah, that’s because I always caught Balthazar on the phone. And he said he’d tell you that I called.”

Cas stared at Balthazar with a burning gaze now. “He never told me anything. And I’m guessing he’s been deleting my emails too.”

“Listen, Cassie. I can explain. I didn’t want you to hear from the people back there. I set up an automatic delete for emails from other people too. Someone named Sam wrote almost as often as Dean and someone named Mary? Charlie?” The fact that Balthazar still had to guess people’s names after going on their nerves for an entire week was nothing but strange. But it showed that he had genuinely been only focused on Cas when he was over there. “I didn’t want you to be torn in two. Your life is here. And with me,” he said unsurely, almost questioningly.

Cas only looked at him, completely disbelieving and angry as if he couldn’t believe what he had just discovered.

“Yeah, and Cas? There is something else that Balthazar should tell you. About how my father paid him to leave all the gates open on our property to let the sheep wander all over the place.”

“Yes, but I never knew they were sick,” Balthazar said and then he looked shocked when Dean just smirked and made it evident that he had been bluffing just now. John had never told them anything but Balthazar had just confirmed Dean’s ever gnawing suspicion for everyone to hear.

“I have no patience to deal with you now,” Cas said, anger palpable in his every pore, which dissipated when he looked back at Dean. He took an instep and grabbed his hand.

“Let’s talk somewhere else,” he said and pulled Dean into another room, closing it after them with force.

 

“What did you want to talk to me about? Why did you come here?” he asked Dean urgently, wanting to hear everything he had to say, but Dean got nervous as Cas crept closer and even more so when he touched his chest as he stuttered out a torrent of words.

“I- I- um… We uh… harvested the corn and oh, well you knew that! I found the thing that was tying the ghost and Sam burned it. Just in time too. And uh… I got more contracts for horses to train and mom and dad have the biggest problems now becau- because of the sheep thing. She‘s moved in with us for now and I gave her my room because I couldn‘t be in it… uh… and I tore the cottage down. I couldn‘t look at it anymore. Not without you there and then I thought about the schmuck sleeping in there and I just completely destroyed it… and uh… oh, Dad’s old contacts aren’t blocking us anymore and working with us now and I-love-you-and-I-want-you-to-come-home-with-me-Cas!” he got louder and louder towards the end jumbling his words together, until he shouted out that he loved him. “Please, I’ll make everything up to you, I’ll behave, I stop scratching my balls in public, I won’t burp anymore if that are things that annoy you and I won‘t ever dunk your head into the lake again… unless you do it first. But please just come back! I‘m begging you. Please, man!”

Cas looked at him with wet eyes. “If you hadn’t started the begging, I’d have started it right now. I was a damn fool. You saw what Balthazar was like back then already. I should have never left. This here…” he motioned to the surroundings. “Isn’t my dream anymore. You are. I love you too and I wanna build a life with you. I thought life out there was hard, but it‘s nothing compared to how hard it is to live without you.”

Dean felt a single tear roll down his cheek as he tentatively moved towards Cas now. It was only a few inches because they had moved closer to each other without even realizing it and he took his hand, encasing it with his own and felt the same familiar butterflies like at first when he moved even closer very carefully.

Cas didn’t seem to be shy, or maybe desperation was guiding him as he raised his hands onto Dean’s neck and simply guided him onto his mouth without hesitation.

Once their lips touched, fireworks exploded and Cas moved them until he was pressed against the door to the office he had just closed.

“I thought I’d never feel your weight on me like this anymore,” he confessed as Dean braced his hands on the wood next to Cas’ head. “I had every right to lose you. I’ve been an asshole to you.”

“Cas?” Dean said as he finally made contact with his skin again.

“Yes, my love?” Cas answered, rocking on him already.

“Shut up,” Dean said, just like he had in the very beginning. “We can talk about _who_ was an asshole and _when_ later.”

Cas clearly remembered how Dean had told him to shut up when they had met and gulped. “Can we start over, please? Just give me another chance.”

“No,” Dean groused and Cas gulped again even when Dean’s hands were roaming his body and unbuttoning his trousers already.

“I’d rather take it up exactly where we left it,” he groaned and pulled Cas‘ pants down with one hard tug.

“That’s even better,” Cas gave an answering groan as he felt achingly familiar fingers probing at his hole.

“Fuck,” Dean’s breath hitched when he massaged Cas’ hole. “Lube?”

“Yeah, let me down for a sec,” Cas walked over to a filing cabinet now and pulled a bottle out.

“C’mere,” Dean rasped once Cas was close enough again and he pulled him in, kissing passionately and fully undressing Cas now. “Let me see you. All of you.”

“Hmm,” Cas purred as he hooked his legs back over Dean’s hips and made sure he was pressed against the door again.

Dean made quick work of opening Cas now, keeping eye contact as Cas rocked up and down whenever he stimulated his prostate.

“Fuck me, I’m ready,” Cas moaned wantonly once he was open enough and Dean pressed into the perfect familiar, yet somehow different heat inside Cas for the first time in over a month.

“Shit, Cas. Yes!”

“For the love of everything, Dean. Fuck me!” Cas roared when Dean had finally bottomed out and then he only uttered broken sounds when Dean ploughed into him with deadly precision.

“That’s it. Give it to me. Love your cock inside me,” Cas yelled, Dean’s balls slapping up against him whenever he thrusted in.

“Fuck, so hot for me. Thought I’d never have you again,” Dean panted, his sweaty forehead on Cas’ shoulder as he rode up so hard that the door shook in it’s frame.

“You have me,” Cas nibbled at his earlobe and pressed himself even closer to him. “Fuck! You have me for as long as you want me,” he shouted loudly as Dean brought one hand down on his cock and jerked him half a dozen times before Cas came with a shout.

“Ahhh, fuck,” Dean more roared than said when he felt Cas come around him.

“That’s right. Let loose on me, Dean. Show me I’m yours, fucking come inside me!”

“Ah, ah, ahhhh!” Dean kept roaring as he shot out his release into Cas, marking him from the inside before his legs simply collapsed under him and both fell onto the ground, completely blissed and exhausted.

“How’re you feeling?” Dean asked Cas on top of him, their legs intertwined and Dean’s now flaccid dick still almost all the way up Cas’ ass.

“At home.”

“Me too,” Dean chuckled, not minding the obscene position or that they had basically just gone all animalistic over each other again. It was who they were and it was all they ever wanted.

 

Half an hour later, they were able to pick themselves off of the floor, and once they were dressed, they walked back out of the office with the vague plans to find something to eat and drink now and talk a little more.

Cas clung to Dean like he was scared he’d be gone when he let go and kept nuzzling and scenting the base of his neck, just like Dean had been after the first time they had had full blown sex in his bed.

“Cassie?” They heard someone say in a teary voice and the word had suddenly lost all his sting in Dean’s ears. Obviously, Balthazar had heard what had happened in the backwards room just now and felt sorry for himself at seeing that he had never been what Cas wanted or needed.

“I don’t think there’s anything more to say, Balthazar. I’ll be in touch about my share of the business. Or rather, my lawyers will be.”

 

When they were in front of the store, Cas blinked at Dean as if he saw the sun for the first time.

“What are we gonna do now?”

“For now? I booked a hotel room and I was thinking about going out tonight.”

“Where to?”

“Cattle auction?” Dean deadpanned and then lost his shit at Cas’ face. He laughed for over 5 minutes, Cas joining in after a bit.

“I really had you there, didn’t I?”

“Yep, I admit it,” Cas said and tightly locked himself around Dean again as they walked aimlessly through the streets.

“How about we just stay in tonight? I think you’re enough entertainment for me.”

“Kinky bastard,” Dean huffed happily.

 

When they were in the hotel room and into bed though, they didn‘t start to heat things up at once though, but Cas asked Dean to open his email account for him. Dean sat behind him, his legs framing him from behind as Cas read every email he hadn’t received during the past couple of weeks.

“Wait, this one is special. I gotta read it to you.”

_I may not be a poet, you know that I’m not. But if I were, I’d write you one instead of these emails, every night. You’re probably not even reading these anymore by now, otherwise you would have replied long ago, but I only gotta say to you what I wanted to tell you every night before I went to sleep. I wanted to tell you while you were still here and even more time since you been gone. And I’m now gonna say the thing I couldn’t say back then._

_Stay._

_Stay with me._

_I love you, Cas._

_Please, come back to me._

 

“How is this special?” Dean asked at having his words repeated back to him in Cas’ voice.

“It’s the first time you told me that you loved me without being angry. And that without any hope that I’d even read it anymore.”

“Yeah, what can I say? I’m hopeless,” he whispered, his hands roaming Cas’ front.

“Me too,” Cas answered and stroked over his arms now, hissing when Dean brushed over his nipples underneath his t shirt. “I’m hopeless without you.”

“Awesome that we needed an homicidal ghost and a dickbag who deleted your mails to find that out. Hey, did I tell you what her last words were before Sammy torched the doll? She told me that without my sleeping prince, I might be the one who was dead already. She really knocked me on my ass with that, y‘know?”

Cas snuggled against him, smiling softly, obviously thinking about how things had been before this.

“I need you to promise me something, Dean. And I am gonna promise you something in return. I’ll stop assuming before I know the truth, and you talk to me more whenever you feel like something’s up, ok? That was our problem before.”

“No, our problem before is that I always had the feeling that you strived for someone better than me and that you had the feeling that we have nothing in common except great sex. We have a life, Cas. A whole life. It‘s maybe not perfect, and we‘re not always easy to see through, the both of us, but we can make it work. We just have to find our little perfect moments now and again. We can make it perfect.”

“I like that,” Cas whispered, laying his forehead on Dean’s cheek, and then continuing to whisper: “I didn’t want to give you that feeling, you know? When I first met you in that bar, that was it for me, I was done for the second I met you.”

“No kidding,” Dean sassed, finally finding confidence in the knowledge that he was loved and that it was within his power to make Cas stay with him. “I felt just the same, even if you were an annoying city boy.”

“And what am I now?”

“You’re my Cas. Not ‘Cassie’,” he said viciously to intone air quotes, his hands too busy with stroking Cas to do the motion. “Maybe you were the guy who wanted to open a café and bookstore once, but you’re not anymore.”

“And what am I now?”

“You’re whatever you wanna be. But most of all, you’re mine.”

“Sounds right to me,” Cas grinned and turned around on Dean’s lap. “But only if you’re mine as well.”

“You know I am,” Dean answered and they stopped talking for a long while now.

 

Later, they lay there, listening to the city‘s late night noises surrounding them and neither of them could fall asleep. Even Cas, who had lived in the city for most of his life, had gotten so used to the quiet of the country at night that he just couldn‘t sleep, but listened to Dean summing up their story so far: “So, you were pissed at me whenever it looked like I didn‘t trust you with working on the farm, and you thought I was feeling good in the knowledge that I was always superior and you‘d depend on me to fit in with the country folk, that about it?“

“Yes,“ Cas replied. “And you thought it was just a matter of time until someone better came around and I‘d leave you? I guess we misunderstood each other most of the time, right?“

“You could say that,“ Dean admitted. “But not about the stuff that really matters. There is one thing I want to have absolutely clear,“ he took a deep breath and stared at Cas right next to him. “I love you, and I always will and I'll try my hardest to make us work. But now that we know that we are on the same page, I don't think we'll even have to work that hard anymore, wouldn't you say?“

“It's gonna be much easier now that we both know where or rather with whom we belong," Cas nodded and hugged Dean with a quiet sigh: "I love you too, and I wish for no more misunderstandings between us anymore.“

“Couldn‘t agree more,“ Dean yawned as he tangled their legs together and they could finally fall asleep now that they had cleared this up.


	14. Chapter 14

“What’s he done now?” Sam asked when Dean uncapped a beer and sat down in the chair facing the desk in the office, propping his feet up on the desk.

“Don’t ask, Sammy,” he hid his face in his hand.

“I am gonna ask though,” Sam gave him a completely undeserved bitchface. “What’s it this time? Worse than alpacas and bees?”

Dean steeled himself for a minute, sipping his beer quietly, before he rasped with a face as if the world was ending. “Guinea pigs. Cas wants to breed guinea pigs.”

“Guinea pigs?” the corners of Sam’s mouth twitched before he laughed out loud about Cas’ new project.

“I see you told him?” Cas came into the study too now, propping his feet up on the desk from the other side as he opened a beer of his own.

“I told him, alright,” Dean chuckled and smirked at Cas over the opening of his bottle.

“Well, what do you say, Sam?”

“It’s your decision,” Sam shrugged. “After all, it’s not as we don’t have enough land.”

 

Cas had offered to merge their farms to one bigger one about a month after he had come back effectively and for good. Mary had punched the air happily and waggled her finger at her eldest.

“I told you so!”

“Who was I to ever argue with you?” Dean had said and hugged his mother who in the end had been right as always.

Mary had moved in on a more permanent basis too because John was still stubborn as ever and didn’t want to apologize for what he had done.

 

The Winchesters, on the now bigger Cedar Ridge, were not the only ones with family trouble right now. In the eyes of his family, Cas had disobeyed when he did what he pleased with the property that they had wanted him to run to further their empire.

“I’ve had enough of visitors, though,” Dean admitted on the day that they held a ceremony for the now finally resting Abigail Porter who had done her best to get Dean and Cas together even when she did it in her own, not so pleasant ghost way.

“Can we deal with your furious brothers next month?”

“Yeah, might as well,” Cas laughed and then he’d come up with all kinds of new things he wanted to do with the now nine thousand acres of land at their disposal.

Dean really didn’t mind any of Cas’ ideas, he only figured it would be too relaxing if he didn’t object a little at first though. After being on the other side of the fence now, he had seen that organics hadn’t been as he always thought and that had opened his mind to other things as well.

But still, he had to sass Cas when he brought home the first alpaca.

“Dude, it’s a camel!”

“It’s not a camel!” Cas had sassed back and then the alpaca had grunted dangerously and ran away. They toppled over laughing, even when they had to chase after the animal which really didn’t wanna be caught again.

“Well, it looks stupid,” Dean groused once the animal was finally in a yard.

“And it’s wool brings three times as much money as sheep wool. And it hates foxes. They won’t come near our sheep if the alpacas are guarding them.”

“Alpacas? Plural?”

“Yes, they’re social creatures. They need company or they get sad and capricious.”

“Alright, now I like the silly thing.”

“Why?” Cas said thoroughly surprised, but pleased.

“Because I know what it’s like to feel alone.”

Dean heard Cas gulp and then he draped his arm around Dean’s shoulders as they continued to watch the alpaca.

“You’ll never have to be alone again. We’re all with you, me especially.”

“Good,” Dean smiled and the alpaca gobbled loudly in response to his voice.

 

Dean had also laughed at first when Cas had bought two beehives and put them up far enough away from the homestead that they wouldn’t lose their way and sting them over there. Cas’ new beekeeper outfit looked like he was a space alien, but Dean had to admit when he they tasted the first sample of honey, that he didn’t mind having bees around.

“We might even sell this stuff. You could open a shop, y’know? Or sell it to the local organic supermarket. But there is quality criteria which you have to keep up.”

“Of course,” Cas had beamed. “Will you help me?”

“You know I will,” Dean had answered and pressed a kiss into Cas’ palm. Later, when Cas wanted to tease him about his affectionate gesture, he claimed that he hadn’t done it, and only wanted to lick more honey from his fingers.

Cas laughed loudly at that and Dean thought he’d never get enough of Cas’ completely unstrained happiness, even if it meant living with a handful of alpacas and twenty thousand bees.

Together, they researched which flowers to plant so that the honey would acquire a certain taste. Silently Dean was relieved too, because now he had somewhere to put the manure from the horses he trained, even though he ordered more rock phosphate to fertilize the plants as well.

 

Still though, when they build a shed with room for a lot of little cages and at least a thousand guinea pigs, Dean couldn’t help but laugh from time to time.

“Stop it,” Cas nudged him as they screwed the last sheet of corrugated metal to the new shed. “This is very serious.”

“Say that again when you have three squealing guinea pigs in your lap and desperately try to not look adorable.”

“No, you don’t understand. I’ll breed them only for profit. Kids will come from all over to buy their new pet from us.”

“Only for profit, huh?” Dean teased. “And the fact that they’re cute as hell and we’ll most likely not eat them doesn’t make them special or anything?”

“This is not Peru, Dean. We do not eat guinea pigs,” Cas said totally scandalized and when Dean grinned, having proven his point about the special place the guinea pigs were gonna hold, he groused: “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you were thinking. Quit it, and while you’re at it, stop smiling too.”

“Ok,” Dean said and wiped the smile off his face.

They walked back to the homestead but Cas nudged him hard in the shoulder.

“Ouch. What now?”

“You were smiling on the inside,” Cas groused.

“I was,” Dean admitted and had an idea when they passed the windmill on their way back.

“Hey, Cas? Wanna climb up the windmill with me?”

“What? Why?”

“I just wanna show you how it works.”

“Ok, I guess. But tell me where to put my feet.”

“Of course I will.”

Dean helped him up and when they had reached the top step just out of reach of the spinning top, he got behind him, making Cas feel safe as he pressed him against the wrought iron as the rotor blades rotated above their heads.

“This is… amazing to be honest,” Cas said as he could oversee the homestead and yards from a bird’s eye view.

“Yeah, it is,” Dean smiled. “Look, over there are the hives.”

“It looks really nice with all the flowers there, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Cas looked around for another 10 minutes, the wind making his hair more unruly than ever as it blew his hat off.

“So what place do you like best?” Dean asked.

“Over there,” Cas pointed to a spot a little further away from the flower garden. “See, the trees form a nice niche there.”

“Then that is where we’ll build our house.”

Cas turned around to face him.

“Really? What about the house on old Porter’s?”

“Would you really wanna live there? I mean, you slept in that house, what? Four nights? And those were ghost comas. I want you to stay here with me, building our own home for our future.”

“I’d like that,” Cas smiled. “Will you keep me from falling if I kiss you now?”

“Absolutely,” Dean smiled and felt Cas reach back to cup his neck while he bent himself to reach back. Their mouths met, and they softly moaned at the first contact, happy pangs at the promise of their future as the rotor blades shifted above their heads and the wind started roaring around them from the back now, aiding them on their first steps of their combined life’s journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Story link](http://www.inkitt.com/stories/30895)
> 
> I participated in a fandom novel length story contest with this and got into the top 10%. Thanks everyone who voted. Somewhere in the hopefully not so far future, I'll write more of this story.


End file.
